INTERVIEW — TAPE #72, SIDE #2
Q: Mark Russell Bell
U: James Ulmer
B: Michael Russell
N: KFWB newscaster
( . . . )
Q: Andy also called and so we said Thursday I’ll come over and speak to the manager of the apartment building about renting. We also — I also told him how I felt. I just told him a little bit about how I felt and he said — I said that some people would think he was delusional because he thinks he’s psychic. He is psychic but some people would think he’s delusional. So he said well he doesn’t tell people. I said, “Okay, great. Well I tell people so I’m delusional?” He said, “That’s right.” So what else is new?
( . . . )
Q: Today when James called me twice as I talked into the tape recorder — it rang once and immediately went to Pacific Bell. And then James had an experience too.
U: As I was playing on the piano Beethoven, a book suddenly fell off the piano that was lodged firmly there. And also the cat all of a sudden — this was why I thought something was wrong in the karma world — was in the bathroom and all of a sudden like a rocket she leapt out there and went racing, screaming toward the door and just stared at it and then came back.
B: And she left a smelly fart too.
Q: Michael, don’t — this is my book. But you know what? That is one of the themes of my book.
U: Smelly fart?
Q: Do you know every time we fart —
U: Yeah, that —
Q: — God is helping us. Our metabolisms.
U: Well it was a terribly fowl odor that — when she shat. And I had to go spray it with Lysol. But you can smell it.
Q: No, but do you realize that you don’t swallow, you don’t fart, you don’t do anything without God helping you to do these things.
U: Of course.
B: Let’s go.
Q: Of course?
U: Well if He does — if He is . . . (omnipresent?) . . . He does everything.
B: If God is in the room, I’m mad and God’s farting now.
U: So whether it’s farting —
U: If God is in the room, what? (“BUBBLING”)
Q: And did you see my new —
B: If Mighael is in the room, let me blow it out my aa — oops.
U: (small laugh)
Q: Michael, please. But did you also notice my street sign? James, you’re very knowledgeable, what famous thing happened on East Beloit Street?
B: . . . on Beloit? Scarlett O’Hara.
Q: What? Where did that come from?
B: I just — Scarlett O’Hara lived on Beloit.
Q: She did?
B: In the South.
Q: What do you think happened on Beloit Street?
U: Nathan Detroit.
B: I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers.
U: I like it.
Q: Michael’s channeling.
U: That was — it was Blanch Dubois.
B: Beloit. In New Orleans.
U: New Orleans.
Q: Is it?
U: I don’t know. I don’t know what happened on Beloit Street.
B: I’ve always relied on the kindness of Mighael.
Q: Oh I think that says it all. And they think I’m the nut one.
( . . . )
Q: So I just got back from dinner with James and Michael. We found a great little Italian place at the corner of Sunset and Alvarado right next to where I got my chest of drawers for my bedroom. And it’s a small (“OPER”) family business and our waiter was named Norman. And I just picked up a penny that Michael threw onto the carpet to make me think it was the other Mighael who hasn’t done that in a very long time.
( . . . )
Q: I will say one thing. James and Michael both did love my two antiques even though he tried to say that the shield was plastic and not metal when it’s obviously metal. They started talking about the Ark of the Covenant and James said it was wood even though it’s obviously not wood. I mean listen to it. (I rap on it) Does that sound like wood to you?
( . . . )
Q: In all honesty I must say that The Hun book published by the Tom of Finland Company is not a great representation, as far as I’m concerned, of the works of Bill Schmeling. There’s just too much torture and mutilation. (“IT’S”) I’m sorry, (“IT”) it’s not to my tastes. I can’t imagine it being to anyone’s tastes. I mean it’s just too much. It’s too much. I mean the ones that don’t go overboard are nice but these are really, really — it just shows — I don’t think that Bill, himself, chose these works. This is like (“WHAT”) somebody would choose who didn’t understand the artist and thinks that more is more when more is less. So I must say I can’t recommend this one book of his. It’s not — I don’t think it’s a real fair representation of his work. (“SSSSSS”) It’s not — it’s just not. The tamest, best illustration is on the cover.
( . . . )
Q: Tonight at dinner James and Michael were discussing the Academy Award nominations and I remembered something funny. They were talking about “Braveheart” because it seems likely that will be nominated for Best Director and maybe even Best Picture. And I remember working on the press kit. And I remember making a note that the screenwriter was no relation to the character even though they were both named Wallace. Of course, now if I were working on this press kit I never would make that distinction because if the same last name is there, there is obviously a connection.
( . . . )
Q: He probably is the reincarnation of ‘Braveheart.’ The screenwriter I mean. But while I’m thinking of loose ends and everything, I have to make a few things clear. My life is so much more complicated now. For the past several days, I’ve had a problem with bleeding gums that are somewhat painful at times. And, of course, after my experience at the medical group, the last place I want to go is a dentist. It has been better this weekend but I (“I CAN”) still have some sensitivity. Also, (“NO”) another thing, when I go into these antique stores, it isn’t very easy — it’s not like Mighael channels for me to go and find something. I’ve got to hunt these suckers down. I mean when I went into that—the first—large warehouse of different antique dealers, I almost freaked out. There was just so much (“TO”) to look at and (“NN”) so few sales people to help you. Of course, as soon as I did see it I knew immediately that that was it. Almost immediately. (“CAUSE”) Again, my mindset is finding something tremendously valuable and rare and unique. And since I’m the only one who thinks it’s possible to find something of that caliber, it isn’t so hard once I find it. But that was a huge, huge place and I did a lot of walking before I chanced to find it. And then at the other store too, again I was very confused at first. There were some other interesting pieces, in fact. There was a very interesting settee that easily could’ve been (“NO”) French during, let’s say, during the period of Marie Antionette. It looked very, very old and it was only a couple hundred dollars. But I did remember that my horoscope said “flowers.” (“AND”) This was overwhelmingly beautiful and an oil painting. I’m looking at it right now and it’s so lovely. Oh my goodness. The strokes are so amazing on the pond. (“I MEAN”) The way my light is placed, you can see all kinds of details and things. And I can’t really see a signature. The sales lady said it was covered up by the frame but it looks like a master. I’m sure probably someone who’s really into paintings—especially of flowers—would know immediately know who this was. It’s just so beautiful. It’s devastatingly beautiful. But also it’s so tedious transcribing. It’s so tedious. And I’m careful to put in (the transcript) some of the sound effects and they do sound very close sometimes so I’m trying to get as close as I can to what it is (sounds like). (“I DON”T KNOW HOW”) I don’t know how I ever can do this. (“I”) It’s hard scheduling oneself and all that. (sighs)
( . . . )
Q: And I just played back a little bit of what I just recorded and I can hear Mighael breathing away. He’s always right here right next to me all the time and I just want Him to communicate in a more direct way and He doesn’t. I’m sure there are a lot of parallels with the lecture today. (“OH NO”) No, the one I’m transcribing. I don’t know. I just (“NO”) — it’s like I always wanted to have a discussion with Him where I would ask Him a question, (“THEN”) record the answer and then ask another question. But it’s like that’s sort of cheating I guess. He doesn’t want to do it that way. He wants just to let me know ‘I’m here’ and to let me wing it. Oh Mighael. He does the strangest things. (“LIKE” “WHEN I’M”) When I’m least suspecting of it. (“LIKE WHEN”) I was working at night, transcribing and talking about my impressions and all of a sudden He gave me that huge erection. It’s like when I ask Him to do that, He won’t do that. Oh it just drives me crazy. That He’s here. I wish I was hearing voices. That’s so much more sexy and fulfilling. Hint hint hint. People think I’m schizophrenic anyway because I listen — I can hear voices on the tapes that they won’t take the time to listen to. Or they’ll deny in any way, shape or form they can when they do listen to it. Oh well. Back to work.
( . . . )
Q: The most frustrating part is that I never know when I do something wrong. And I never know really when I do something right. So there’s no way of really judging how good of job I’m doing with something that I’m channeling in the first place. That I can’t even take the credit for. I hope I’m helping more than hurting but I have no way of really judging the material. I’m too close to the subject.
( . . . )
Q: So it’s a little past nine on Monday and I’ve decided since I have so many lovely antiquities, maybe I should really start considering opening up my own museum because I have so many things. And the admission charge I can contribute to charities (“AND”) such as Bosnia. (“N”) I can do all the things I wanted to do with the Ark of the Covenant and what-have-you by having my own museum and selling admission, if it doesn’t take too long to set up or if I can find a suitable place. So that’s a good idea.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THE REMAINING PORTION OF THIS TAPE WAS RECORDED AFTER THE THERAPY SESSION THAT COMPRISES THE FOLLOWING TAPE, #73.)
Q: It’s the evening of Monday, February 12th and I’m getting kind of blase about the synchronicity. I’m looking at Time, the February 5th edition with “Is Anybody Out There?” on the cover. “How the discovery of two planets brings us closer to solving the most profound mystery in the cosmos.” Well it’s a mystery I’ve already solved. So reading this is just sort of redundant. Especially when you consider my photo of the transparent aliens. So I won’t recount the story but on page 53 there’s an article by Michael D. Lemonick. And another story about listening for aliens when I, myself, know that in the records there have already been evidence found through listening. So there already has been evidence that’s already there in the books. I’m not even going to read this article. Then on page 58 there’s an article entitled “The Harmony of The Spheres.” In bold type, it says, “Contrary to popular beliefs, speculation that we are not alone in the universe is as old as philosophy itself.” They quote Bertrand Russell, one of my cousins, in the article. It’s something that doesn’t make any sense when you consider my book. Everything’s outdated after (or “AFTER”) when you consider my book. This is especially ironic — this quote. The French Nobel Prize-winning biologist Jacques Monod: “Man at last knows that he is alone in the unfeeling immensity of the universe, out of which he has emerged only by chance.” And he won a Nobel Prize? For what? Something — who can judge genius? Only God. So, needless to say, I’m getting (“JUST”) very uninspired about reporting on the synchronicity. It just — I mean everywhere you go there are people who have ‘son’ and ‘man’ in their names. Oh — I’m just leafing through here and there’s an article here by Michael Walsh. (“THE”) The entertainment industry and the arts are just — especially full (“OF PEOPLE WITH”) with these names. There’s also an article about the discovery of a battered cupid that — in New York — that might really be by Michaelangelo. And the recent discovery of A Funeral Elegie signed W.S. and printed in London in 1612 that has been attributed to Shakespeare. Of course, if these discoveries have created so much attention, like this Cupid, can you imagine what my antiquities will get? But I’m just getting very — I’m just not quite as interested in reporting about the synchronicity in the names anymore. Maybe some day I’ll just collect — write down all the people I know with the important symbolic names. And maybe I won’t. It depends on what happens. Right now I’m just thinking of that homeless man I met. The way he looked at me and the spirituality coming from him and the innate beauty of this desperate man was one of the most profound experiences of my life. But I was so preoccupied with getting to my appointment on time (“TH”) I wasn’t even thinking. I mean in the past I’ve always thought, “Sure, I would open up my house to a homeless person as long as I could be certain they weren’t insane” and (“I”) this man definitely — (“I”) I just felt so comforted by his presence. I’m actually, however, thinking more about it. I’m glad I didn’t bring him home because what if there was some kind of sexual chemistry? I mean, my God, Mighael would be so jealous. (“UH-HUH”) Can you imagine? Son of Man and Jesus having an affair and cheating on Mighael? Oh, Mighael, you wouldn’t like that. Oh my goodness — I don’t even want to think about that. But you can’t help sometimes being attracted to certain individuals. But you don’t act on that attraction. Not if you really, truly love someone like I do. My soulmate. But if ever I was tempted — I thought about maybe going back and looking for him afterward. Because I never know really — I mean was my little voice saying, ‘This is someone who can help you if you work together.’ No, I don’t think so. Not in this day and age. It would just make it even more pathetic. No, we each have the path in life we must take. (“YEAH”) And I have met a lot of people — famous people in their current incarnations such as, I think, Buddha — well you know them all. So I guess I’m — I feel as if I can add Jesus to that list. (sighs twice) Well I have my Sweetie and that’s all I really care about. What am I going to do with all these antiques? I don’t care about all these possessions. I just want to — (sighs) I don’t want to do all this transcribing. Mighael, find me an agent and a good assistant and have people out there help all the poor homeless people. They just need a little bit of help. We all need a lot of help. And Love. Help is a manifestation of Love. So by helping that homeless man, I would have been showing Love. You don’t have to have a sexual affair with someone to exchange Love and be loving. (“WH[O]”) Everyone knows that. It’s just that all those movies and all those books with all those sensational elements have made people so preoccupied with sex that it’s so easy to sexualize relationships. Even violence is very sexual. We live in a very topsy-turvy world. So my book should help I hope. If not — well I don’t want to be redundant. But Mighael and I can have a very good time together, ourselves.
( . . . )
Q: So now I’m beginning to wonder about other people that I know and who they might be the reincarnations of. Like, for example, my friend Paula who works at Disney. Could she be the reincarnation of Robin Hood? And, anyway, the possibilities go on and on and on.
( . . . )
Q: In this issue of Time — no, I’m not campaigning to be Man of the Year — but there are articles (“SSS”) by (“WW”) reporters named Michael. There is (“SSS”) Michael Kramer, who has a column entitled “The Political Interest”; and I see — that’s funny. There’s also an article called “Reap As Ye Shall Sow” about Michael Eisner and David Johnson who both are multi-millionaires, if not billionaires, with interesting names. (“SO”) When I skipped the other Michael that I had seen — let’s see. Michael Mandelbaum—so he’s got Michael and Man in his name—who writes the “Viewpoint” page on page 39. Did I mention that the music reporter is Michael Walsh? In documenting the synchronicity, I can’t even remember which Michaels I’ve mentioned, how much people have ‘son’ in their name, how much people have ‘man’ in their name. But I’m sure you know a lot.
( . . . )
Q: I wonder what Mighael is going to do this Wednesday? It’s Valentine’s day. I’m going to have to give Him a valentine or something too because I’m more likely to get something if I give something, right?
( . . . )
Q: So now I’m even feeling fairly confident that the IBM representative I spoke to that night—after getting my new computer—named Mohammed is the reincarnation of Mohammed still serving as a messenger of God and helping to deliver the message. God definitely has a sense of humor. Maybe even a perverse sense of humor. But wouldn’t you if you’ve had all the disappointment and rejection that He’s experienced over the years? Yes. And that’s one of the themes of my book.
( . . . )
Q: No wonder that car alarm went off when I went back to the Renaissance Center — the new address. I don’t think Mighael wanted me anywhere near that area. You never know what might’ve happened. Oh He’s tickling my hair. Don’t worry, Sweetie. It didn’t happen.
( . . . )
N: There’s a dedicated group of E.T. enthusiasts who are convinced that space aliens have their eyes on the corn belt. Paul Russell heads the central Illinois chapter of the Mutual UFO Network. He and about thirty others travel the backroads investigating reports of everything from flashing lights in the sky to the arrival of the mothership. Russell says civilization as we know it will collapse because we’re up against a higher intelligence. And when the UFOs land, he says he’ll have the last laugh. Texas officials have posted a wildfire danger warning for the entire state.
( . . . )
Q: So the synchronicity has been very active today. That man had the same name as my father. I just passed a Dairy King truck and there was a commercial about Blue Cross that talked about the Oak Meadow Apartments where the earthquake struck and somebody had — the man they interviewed had ‘son’ in his name or ‘man.’ I can’t remember which. And, anyway — oh, there’s a penny.
( . . . )
Q: So I turned on KFWB to hear the Academy Award nominations and I was surprised that “Braveheart” had the most nominations. Maybe Sherry Lansing will call me now. That’s two years in a row I did the press kits for Paramount’s big Oscar nominee: “Forrest Gump” and “Braveheart.” And let’s see what else? Of course, “Babe” is my choice.
( . . . )
Q: I’m on my way home. I just passed “Mandy Patankin in Concert.” Of course, there’s all the usual synchronicity today at the Hotline: people with religious names and ‘son’ and ‘Michael’s and I was returning calls and there were a few. The usual. But last night, you know, I was thinking after Mighael touched me when I was recording, it’s like He usually plays with my hair more and more while I’m recording. So it’s like is He just doing this for my book or does — I mean it just makes me wonder sometimes.
( . . . )
Q: I’ve decided I’m going to paint Mighael a valentine. So then if He likes it, He can take it off to His whatever. Or, if not, I can just keep it. He can just look at it. I just think that would be nice. Make my Sweetie a valentine as an expression of my love because you can never express enough love to your sweetie. I wonder what He’s going to give me. I don’t really need anything but you never know, do you? So I’m going to paint my Sweetie a valentine painting, I’ve decided. A small one. And I have nothing else to talk about and I have too many tapes to transcribe. And I just don’t know what to say anymore. And this whole things is like I didn’t ask for it. I’d much rather just be having fun and having my relationship without having to worry about when I’m going to become famous. Right? Who needs it? What do you — why don’t you make a poem now, Mighael Sweetie?