INTERVIEW — TAPE #71, SIDE #2
Q: Mark Russell BellD: FM 101.9 disc jockeyU: James UlmerJ: Jack Murphy, acquaintance at PRSW: unidentified staff members of Le Belle Epoque restaurantE: Eda Abrahamian, owner of Le Belle EpoqueC: Carol Ann DreyerA: unidentified workshop attendees
Q: I’m on my way home from A Different Light listening to the song “In Your Eyes.”
( . . . )
D: Sting. FM 101.9. Good one, Sting. “Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot” — “Mercury Falling” is the first album in three years that he’s put out new material. It’ll be out March 12th. Counting Crows too doing “A Murder of One.” And also Jeffrey Gaines with “In Your Eyes.” The FM 101.9 Music Hall . . .
( . . . )
Q: So I just stopped by Michael’s house and James was there so I told them both about my encounter with the son of the senator. And James said, “You’re taking this son thing a little bit too far.” And I said something to the effect of, “I’m just telling you what happened.” You know? And Michael said, “Oh, that’s funny.”
( . . . )
Q: Mighael, maybe we’re working too hard. Maybe we should weed them all out so then you’ll have more time to spend with me, sweetie.
( . . . )
Q: I was just trying to get organized and I almost ruined this tape, I guess. I guess the edges sometimes can clip the tape. But it didn’t. It just sort of bent it. But, anyway, so I’m just thinking how happy I feel, how much fun I’m having, how good I look. My brother said last night that I look like one of those West — I’m getting to look like one of those West Hollywood boys. So I feel like going to a gym not only is good for health reasons. It’s making me look good and feel better and keeping me grounded. And let’s see what else? (“I”) Hypno-therapy tomorrow night. I’m not quite sure what to talk about. I don’t really have any beefs at the moment. Well we’ll see. And I don’t know. I mean. I will say one thing about — in terms of how good I look. At the gym, it’s like even though I can lift what I think are a lot of weight, I see other people who lift unbelievable amounts of weights and it just makes you wonder how much effort they put into it. For example, on the leg press and the calf-risers I can do 120 lbs. and for upper body I do, like, bi-curls I do 50, rope pull-downs 40, not very much some people think, seated row 70 or 75. I don’t know. (“BU[T]”) Like the incline press and incline fly and flat press I usually just do 40. And you see people who life hundreds and they look huge. And in terms of sexuality sometimes you really do have to wonder because if somebody’s really into big muscles, well then that’s obviously what’s going to turn them on. Of course, and then there are those people who use steroids to get that effect. Of course, that’s something I never would do is put anything damaging into my body just out of pure hedonism. So, anyway, I’m feeling very good. James might come to the lecture today. So might Marie. And, anyway, I’m just having — it’s a beautiful day. Sunny out. I’m happy. I hope Mighael is too.
( . . . )
Q: Listen to the names I can find in today’s Calendar section February 11: an article about Natalie Portman on page six. On page seven an article about Frank Johnson, a composer. Then there’s an article on David Hockney. I don’t have time to read it. Okay, then we get into the movie ads and just for exa(mple) — well, of course, “Muppet Treasure Island”: Jim Henson Productions. Well, okay — well let me just go to “Mr. Wrong,” for example. Starring with Ellen DeGeneres is Bill Pullman; features new music from Joan Osborne, Chris Isaak, Amy Grant, Sophie B. Hawkins, Faith Hill, Sean Colvin. It’s a Mandeville Films/Marty Katz production. It — the director of photography is John Schwartzman. The co-producer is Ira Shuman. The executive producer is David Hoberman. It was written by Chris Matheson, Cary Erin and Craig Munson. There’s definitely a lot of sons and mans in Hollywood. Then we go to some other movies — I think I’ve already talked about them so I will just skip by some of these names that are so familiar to us. Just from the ads. I keep saying I’m not going to do this but then there are just so many names that fit. I don’t really have time to look through this. Of course, “Jumanji” has man in the name too. Of course, Michael wanted me to go see “Angels and Insects” with him and I said, “No way.” If I was going to make an exception to my rule of not going to see movies, that’s the last one I think I would want to see because it just seems very negative.
( . . . )
Q: There’s an article about Gary Sandy who was on “WKRP In Cincinnati.” I wonder why he didn’t go on to big stardom and is still struggling doing plays and what-have-you even though that’s apparently what he wants to be doing. But it just makes you wonder why some people get hot and others aren’t. Okay, so I’m looking at the stage section. August Wilson has a new play: “Seven Guitars” at the Ahmanson Theatre. Let’s see what else I can find. I don’t have much time to look. I mean this is like the most boring thing to me. I’m just doing it because it’s fun to point out how many son and mans and other related names — oh I see in the arts section it says “Meet R.C. Gorman.” In pop music, there’s a review of Tupac Shakur’s new album. I passed him in the hall at Paramount and, of course, I worked on the “Juice” press kit. I never would’ve dreamt he was into that thug scene. In the music section Amy Mann is appearing, Willy Nelson and Leon Russell as an example. So many different people. I don’t even have time to look closely at this. I’m just sort of skimming. Looking for names that pop out at you. So there’s more here than I’m finding. Well in — at the MGM Grand Michael Crawford. I saw that. At the Comedy Stop Roy Romano. Las Vegas: the travel company is Carlson Wagonlit. It’s hard to turn the pages. Isn’t it funny? Colorado Belle Hotel Casino. I can’t believe the name of Wynonna’s new album: “Revelations.” Did I mention Karen Carson? It says, “Continued from page 4.” Did I skip Karen Carson? On page 4 — oh, she’s an artist. An emerging artist. Okay, I skipped that one. So — and in the letter section I see an article, oh my goodness, from Hope Bryson is among the letters. Anyway, that’s all for now. I”m going to get ready to go to the PRS.
( . . . )
Q: I’ll just read real quick a thought that is in The Hotline Herald, which is the newsletter from APLA that we get each month who volunteer on the Hotline. And this month I’m there as one of the people who worked for more than fifteen hours for the month of January. “What is Success? To laugh often and love much. To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children. To earn the approval of honest critics and enjoy the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty. To find the best in others. To give of one’s self without the slightest thought of return. To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exaltation. To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
( . . . )
Q: What was your response to the lecture? For my book. What did you think?
U: Not right now.
Q: You don’t want to say anything?
U: No . . . (“OKAY”)
( . . . )
Q: Let me write this — I want to put this in my book. (“SO”) I’m — I wasn’t really listening but she said something about people who wear red having a much more abundant or richer spiritual life. And, of course, I just happen to be wearing red today. Yes. (“YES”) You have lived a very rich, abundant spiritual life because you’re wearing red.
J: Oh yes. I wear red frequently.
Q: What is your name?
J: Jack Murphy.
Q: And what do you do? Are you a minister or something?
Q: What do you do?
J: Well at the moment I’m an author and publisher mainly.
Q: Oh. Really?
J: Been in psychotherapy. (“BRAIN”) I’ve been an engineer. (“STORY TO TELL”)
Q: And you’ve been a publisher? You have a publishing company?
J: Yes. My own book. That’s what happens to authors. They have to become publishers these days. Didn’t used to be that way but that’s . . .
Q: I’m writing a book now so that’s my next question mark. If I should go (“I C”) self-publish it or find a publisher? What do you recommend?
J: Depends on your desires. If you find a publisher, you’re still stuck with the need to promote the book.
J: If you don’t find a publisher, then you have the task of having to become the publisher.
Q: Right. I don’t want that. (“WHAT HH”) What do you write about?
J: My work is The Joy of Old, a positive view of aging.
Q: Wow. Great. And do you believe you’ve had any previous incarnations?
Q: But you’re not sure what they are?
J: Oh I’ve had some ideas. (“BUT”) I don’t want to either believe it or not believe it. I (“RIGHT”) just feel it’s helpful.
Q: It’s like what she said. She said it’s more of a feeling than a knowing.
Q: So, okay. (“IT’S”)
J: All of this is metaphor.
J: If we have to make it into a religion, it all gets awful.
Q: Right. Okay.
J: I use the metaphor. (“TO USE”)
Q: Thank you very much.
J: And I’ve known her for a long time.
Q: Oh really? The speaker?
J: Yes. And Carol Ann is always helpful. She is always —
Q: Are you going to the workshop?
J: — full of her mission. No I don’t think so.
Q: Okay. I think I’m going to go.
J: Yes. I’d recommend it.
Q: Okay, great. Thank you.
( . . . )
Q: James is so stubborn and bossy. There’s a man right across the street from us whose battery is dead and James doesn’t think it has anything to do with Mighael even though I have all these people wherever I —
U: I never said that. You’ve invented that.
Q: Well do you think it has anything to do with Mighael? His battery being dead?
U: Whose Michael?
Q: The Entity.
U: Who’s the entity?
Q: The Deity. The Archangel Mighael.
U: Who is the Archangel?
Q: My roommate.
U: Your roommate?
U: Don’t you mean womb-mate?
Q: Well (“THAT’S”) I guess you can say that. But, anyway, what was I going to ask you? So, okay, we’re on our way —
U: I thought it was inefficiently told — that lecture. Ineffectively. But what was interesting about the ineffectively — ineffectiveness of her telling stories is that she tells stories in two or three different voices. I mean first person, third person, and she switches them around all the time. She’ll be telling it from ‘If you were doing this’; then all of a sudden it’s “I who’s doing it” and “they” and it’s kind of the way a psychic sees different aspects of life.
Q: Different levels of reality.
U: So she can’t — well she can’t communicate well to others. She’s a great receiver. She feels things happening. And then she tells you about them. But she’s not good at telling stories, which I found fascinating. That was kind of intriguing. In fact, it was pretty boring — many — much of it.
Q: So where should we go to eat? Should we go to La Belle Epoque or should we go to —
Q: — the Italian place?
U: The Italian place. (“WAIT” “IT’S”)
Q: Where am I? It’s down one street, isn’t it? Oh God. It’s down . . .
U: Turn right. Just park in here. Park in this lot.
U: Right where that is. Yeah.
Q: We’re not even close to it.
U: Yes, we are.
Q: It’s on Hillhurst —
( . . . )
Q: James, what did you think about people who are spiritually aware wearing red? You notice —
U: Well what I found that interesting because red had always since I was a boy been my absolute favorite color. I dressed in red. My birthday cakes were always with red candy canes. I loved Christmas because of the red wrapping paper. I saw red.
Q: And now what were you saying to me about your back or something? You had a mole or something on your back?
U: Yes, I have a big, big birthmark on my back the size of a quarter in my upper left hand . . .
Q: And what is it —
U: And I don’t know what that means unless I had wing placement — a broken wing there.
Q: Not a hump back?
U: No. I ain’t a hunchback. I know you think.
Q: Well you said Quasimodo at our dinner that night.
U: Quasi means Italian. Modo means a way you do something. So I think I was making a pun.
Q: Or maybe not. Maybe you were channeling.
U: I think I was — unchanneled.
Q: But what about Attila the Hun? Where did Attila the Hun come from?
U: I don’t even know. I mentioned that a lot. I don’t know. No — I never mentioned it before. I don’t know.
Q: Isn’t that weird? But that’s weird.
U: But I mention a lot of things the first time. But it’s not only Attila I’ve talked about. I talked about —
Q: But see —
U: — the conquering . . .
Q: — James just remember one of the themes of my book is to always listen to your inner voice. So before —
U: (yawns) Yes.
Q: — when you heard about this speaker before. You either saw her card or somebody mentioned her to you and they wanted you to contact her but you didn’t contact her so therefore you missed an opportunity. And if you’d been —
U: I’m not sure it was her card but it rings a bell.
U: It does. It does ring a bell.
Q: No, it was like — you said, “No, I should’ve been with her. I should’ve seen her.”
U: I know.
Q: In fact, you were even saying that “Maybe I should go to this lecture today but I can’t. I have other things to do.”
U: But I did. And I —
Q: Your trip.
Q: Getting ready for your trip. So but you think I should go.
U: Oh absolutely. I mean I can’t afford now the $20. I would go except that I’m not convinced that I would get much out of it because if she’s going to be doing with everybody, she’d so digressive and long-winded that I would want her — the only way I’d get anything out of it if she was with myself and just giving me a reading. (“SO”) That’s what I want you to find out.
Q: So should we go to Le Belle Epoque or should we go across the street to the Italian place.
U: The Italian place maybe. What’s the Italian place?
Q: You know. On the corner here.
U: Oh that’s a bad place. No no no no.
Q: Okay Le Belle Epoque? (“OKAY”)
U: I don’t like any of them.
Q: I guess there’s just no escaping bells for me.
U: Ohhh. Oh you mean this place?
U: That’s such bad food. We’ve had it there before.
Q: Louisa’s. They’re everywhere.
U: Oh Louisa’s is terrible. I know. It’s just bad . . .
Q: Oh I don’t mind it. They have good salads.
( . . . )
Q: Hey Ja(mes) — no, James. No, really. So James and Fiona had dinner last week. (“YES I DID”) And I’m sure they’re concerned for me. I don’t blame them. (“ROCKY” “LEARNED”) So what did you talk about, Arf? (“ABOUT PEOPLE FIRED”)
U: Fiona said that she was afraid that they’ve lost you.
Q: Who’s ‘they?’
U: That you should come back — that she has — (“U”) you’ve lost your friends and that she would like to find the old Mike — Mark (“U”) — the old Mark (“MIGHAEL”) to return. (“MIKE” “WHY DON’T”)
Q: Why don’t people just accept me for who I am and what I’m doing? (“AND I ALSO”)
U: But there are so many of you, Mark. It might be a split personality. In fact, as one of my friends said: “I’ve got so many people running around in my head. I just wish one of them were a maid.”
Q: Who said that?
U: A schizophrenic I used to know.
Q: Well I’m not schizophrenic.
U: I think it’s a form of schizophrenia.
Q: What do you mean? How?
U: Mighael. Mighael and you.
Q: Well I don’t hear voices. (“HAVING FUN”) They’re just on my tape recorder.
U: You do — exactly. You hear those things that nobody else hears.
Q: No, they don’t listen to them.
U: No — yeah. That’s schizophrenia.
Q: Anyone can come over and listen to my tapes at any time and they’ve all heard the voices.
U: I didn’t hear the voices. You played them for me. I didn’t hear them.
Q: Well I didn’t play you any — I only played a few things for you. And even when you heard them you said you didn’t hear them.
U: One of them was Fiona’s voice in the background.
Q: No. That’s not — it was not. That’s what I’m telling you. That was not. That was not Ina.
U: It was Oleg.
Q: No. Oleg is Oleg. Ina is Ina. There were other voices. (“WHY”) Because when you hear what they’re saying, Ina would not have said those things. (“AUTU[MN]”) For example, the voice was saying, “ARE YOU SURE?” (“RIGHT”) Meaning ‘was I reincarnated?’ — meaning in support of the theory. Ina was not in support of my reincarnation (“NO”) when we were having (“SHE”) dinner.
U: Ina says stuff like, “Are you sure?” all the time. This wasn’t her voi(ce) — dialect. (“O”) Okay, well enough about that. You’ll never believe it. (“BU[T]”) Mighael doesn’t approve of my friendship with Fiona because —
Q: — she doesn’t appreciate me and you’re just confirming what He said. (“I HAVE” “RIGHT” “ONE” “MAR”) Do you think He approves of my friendship?
U: No, she wants — she — “James, is — ” the old Michael that she really feels close to. (“AND THE VERDICT IS”)
Q: The old Mark.
U: Mark. The old Mark. (“THIS”)
Q: You’re schizophrenic because you’re calling me Michael. It’s the same thing.
( . . . )
Q: The service here is awful. I eat here every week and there’s never enough waitresses. I’m writing a book about Hollywood and I’m going to tell everyone this is (“THIS”) — the service is really bad here. There are not enough waitresses.
W: Excuse me?
Q: Excuse me.
( . . . )
Q: My horoscope said that I should tell one of my friends or family members to go home today so if you want to go home, go home. (“THAT’S A” “YEAH”)
U: That’s your horoscope said —
Q: That’s exactly what it said. So go home.
U: I don’t need to tell you . . .
Q: Well stop telling me I’m having negative energy at this table. If I want a negative energy at this table, I’ll have one.
U: I’m sure you will.
Q: Do you think Jesus Christ had a negative karma — energy during his lifetime?
W: You ready? (“I’M SORRY”)
Q: Yes, we are. (“THE BURGLED COLLECTION”)
( . . . )
Q: I’m writing a book. I said they have bad service but it’s so busy here because the food is wonderful. The manager was very nice when I complained. (“PUT JOHN”) She immediately (“LOVE”) made sure we were served. (“NO”) I love this restaurant. (“YEAH”)
E: Thank you.
Q: I come here all the time.
Q: You’re very nice, Eda. Your name is Eda?
E: Yes. Thank you very much.
Q: By the —
Q: — by the way, Le Belle Epoque is a beautiful name for a restaurant.
E: Thank you. (“HH”)
Q: Did you have the idea or —
U: I think she needs to get to work.
E: When I — my husband . . . a great pastry chef. (“WAS”) It’s his idea because he’s from Toulouse and there is a restaurant in Toulouse called that. And a book — it suggested and we accepted.
U: On Toulouse?
Q: And what’s your last name?
E: My last name? Abrahamian. I’m an Armenian.
U: Oh . . .
Q: Thank you. Nice meeting you.
E: Nice meeting you too.
Q: Abraham — that’s a very biblical name. (“LOVE”)
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE. THE WORKSHOP ATTRACTED ONLY A SMALL GROUP AND I RECORDED THE PORTION CONCERNING ME.)
Q: . . . for clarity. Well yeah I spoke up today because I’m the one who lived in Egypt and I found this medallion of myself so I’ll have you look at — well do you want it? Okay.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE. THE MEDALLION WAS PASSED TO CAROL ANN.)
Q: So I’ve been told alternately — well I think Obadiah mentioned that he thought that this was this god Ra but I flashed on the name Bel-Marduk. Someone else said that they had seen the god Ra and it looked just like me. So maybe I’m the reincarnation of the god Ra. So I’m in hypnotherapy now and I’ve had a few other impressions on previous incarnations. And I don’t know if it’s true or not but I just (“NI”) know the names and they were, like, women. The names were Julia Pastrana and Catherine — a French woman named Catherine Cadiere. (“SO”) These are the three names that I’ve sort of been working on and trying to get more understanding of so I don’t do the same mistakes that they did in their life.
C: Oh I can imagine. (“I”) I feel the most power still influencing your life is from the Catherine and she was obviously a French woman?
C: And I want to — a friendly French woman. I don’t mean that she was a harlot or anything but she was very powerful in her —
Q: Sort of a celebrity. She was in, like, a big trial. A famous — I think it was the last trial for witchcraft in France.
C: Uh-huh. But she had a lot of the power?
Q: Very mystical. I mean she had like religious ecstasies and I’ve had religious ecstasies. So in that respect my life is like hers. (“IS MOTHER” “BUT I LIKE”) I — I — my name is so close, you know — Mark Russell Bell and Bel-Marduk that that seems to be like the major previous incarnation.
C: Well the interesting thing about Ra because he has — oh God why can’t I think? This is a bad day for me remembering names. But it’s a wonderful book about a woman’s past life in Egypt and how she had a real reality that she saw Ra in his final stages of being embalmed. And he realized that he could come back to life one more time but he had to come back exactly as he was last seen. So, of course, he comes back as a mummy and she recognized him. And what is the name? Do you remember that book?
C: Maury gave it to me. Pardon?
C: No, it’s not Initiation. It’s absolutely the most wonderful book on Egypt I’ve ever read.
A: . . . Omm Sety?
C: Yeah — The Search for Omm Sety, I think it was. And she was very involved with this Seti I. And she saw him again and brought him — literally brought him back from the grave. She was the one that set up the temple in Egypt to restore what used to be beautiful gardens and they were just wrecked — reality. It was real interesting when I was in Egypt I was sitting by the side of the road and there were all these strange people coming up, you know, because they don’t know who the hell you are. And I was looking at them and I said, “Why do I know this place?” And this is exactly where she had all these really amazing mystical experiences and the man that gave it to me was the right hand man to Armand Hammer. And he was pretty mystical himself. And I said, “I can’t believe that I know all of this that she wrote in the book. It was as if I was doing it.” And I said, “And that I was so close but I didn’t know it.” And it’s real interesting how we get so close to knowing so much but we always have that feeling and that resonance, which is in this — almost book of information about past lives. You can (“STAY”) — when you stay with the resonance. (“AND”) Well you’ll just get spotty information but not all of it (“OY”) — through your life you’ll get more and more and more until you have really a patchwork quilt. And finally you’ll get the proof that, whatever you were seeking, that is so. It was very amazing. That book was that for me: The Search for Omm Sety. It’s a wonderful book if you can find (it) — a wonderful book.
A: And who wrote it?
C: Yeah? Who wrote it? Do you remember? It’s a woman and I think they tried to make it a television show or something. It was really stupid. Stupid. I said, “How could they do such a good book so badly?” But I think you’ll probably find it be asking for the title The Search for Omm Sety. It — I mean from the very first page you’re hooked because it’s a really wonderful book.
A: Can you spell that name?
A: Spell that name.
A: How do you spell the name Omm Sety?
C: S — E — T — Y —
A: T — I.
C: S — E — T — I. And it’s ‘Om.’ O — M — S — E — T — I. Because you have to be called — when you’re a widow of somebody who’s Egyptian, you always have to be called ‘Om’ and what the name is. And she tells how she got all that to be what it was. (“WAS”) It’s a wonderful book —
Q: Speaking of other books, are you familiar with the Michael books?
C: Oh no.
Q: Like Messages From Michael?
Q: Because I’m a channel for Mighael. Do you get any Mighael’s aura around me or anything?
C: No because I really don’t know — I know I’ve heard of that a lot. But (or “BUT”) I mean it sounds kind of stuck up to say that I have been around a lot of channels a lot of times. And —
Q: We’re all channeling in a way.
C: Yeah — that’s true. You’re all channeling but what are you channeling?
Q: Right. And we all have guardian angels so it gets very confusing.
C: Sometimes —
Q: You know?
C: It really does. You have to find out —
Q: But do you feel like — what do you fe(el) — what’s your innate impression of me? I mean I am wearing red.
C: ‘What is your innate impression?’
C: What are you asking me? I mean I could go on for days . . .
Q: I mean I try to be like a very loving person. (“I”) Do you feel that? (“OR”) A very honest — I try to be totally honest. I mean are these things that you can see in a — as a psychic or — all of my friends are psychic. I have all these psychic friends and none of them know what to do with me.
C: Because you are more psychic or less psychic?
Q: I don’t even know if it’s that. I — I just — it’s just because I’m totally honest and (“YOU KNOW”) I think that’s the big problem that I have right now.
C: Well there’s a very interesting way — I’ve just said it — to do that because I always put people off mostly because I was psychic and (people tell me) ‘I wasn’t as psychic — what — three and at four’ — I was always psychic. I was born that way. So I began to realize that I was really blowing people’s socks off as a child because I could see auras, I could see what they were thinking, I could see what was going on with them. And they were, “Go get this kid out of here.” (“YOU KNOW”) “My mother was very happy to do that because she couldn’t stand this. And I began to look at — there’s another way to do this. So whenever it gets weird I just go, “Oh that’s interesting.” Whatever it is — that’s interesting. And my stepdaughter says, “Oh no. It’s very interesting.” I know because whenever she’s saying something that really hits on the mark and if I say any more it’s going to tilt the balance. I just say “That’s very interesting” because it can be and they don’t know what it is that you’re going to say next. And you don’t have to say anything next.
Q: But it’s interesting that you have a Michael in your life and I have a Mighael in my life. Where was the Madison building, by the way, that you mentioned?
C: It was — where am I now? (“WW”) Was in the valley on Ventura Boulevard.
Q: Because notice too like (or “LIKE”) there are two people with ‘son’ in their name at the table. (“THIS IS”) Synchronicity — my book’s about synchronicity too so —
C: Oh how nice. That’s — (“WONDER”) that was the — (“THE”) the next book Michael was working on. He loved synchronicity. And when he was writing a book he wanted to really write a book about wolves and now, of course, everything — because we went to an exhibit on wolves in — I think in the art gallery — the Anthropological Gallery. And it was so amazing to look at wolves in their real state. And he said, “I’m so fascinated.” And he did one of the best things I’ve ever read about wolves. And his publisher said, “No, Michael, you need to do more than this. Give more.” I said, “My God, if people read this, they’d stop being so vicious to wolves.” Wolves are not vicious. It’s just the way people read them. ‘Excuse me. I have to eat dinner. I’m sorry. I ate your chicken.’ You know? It’s like hello, they have a right to live too. But he had the most absolutely profound — and then his other love, believe it or not, he had the weirdest things he loved to do. He loved werewolves. And he really wanted —