HYPNOTHERAPY SESSION (JAN. 8, 1996) — TAPE #42, SIDE #1
Q: Mark Russell Bell
V: David Botsford (clinical hypnotherapist)
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I WAITED FOR DAVID ON A VERY RELAXING SETTEE AT THE RENAISSANCE HEALTH CENTER IN WEST LOS ANGELES. I ARRIVED AN HOUR EARLY BY MISTAKE SO DAVID WAS IN THE FLOTATION TANK WHEN I ARRIVED AND BEGUN OUR SESSION EARLY TO ACCOMMODATE ME. PLEASE NOTE THAT IT IS SOMETIMES DISTURBING FOR ME TO TRANSCRIBE WHAT I HAVE SAID IN THE PAST AS MY IMPRESSIONS ABOUT MY PREDICAMENT ARE CONTINUOUSLY EVOLVING.)
Q: Hi.
V: Mark, how are you?
Q: Mighael and I started without you.
V: (laughs) How can you — yeah.
Q: Yes.
V: (laughs)
Q: I can feel Him. (“I”) Once in a while, like, He just — I can feel (“LIKE”) strands of my hair shifting back slowly. (“YEAH”)
V: Um-hmm.
Q: It’s about as much as He does. Or once in a while He’ll touch me or give me a little flick. (“ON A”) Once when I said (“YOU KNOW THIS WAS”) a joke, He did that but —
V: Mmmm. (“IT’S”)
Q: — do you feel — it’s unusually warm in here, isn’t it?
V: Mmmm.
Q: So that’s Him. (“WE”) This is like how we have sex.
V: Mmmm. (“NI” “AS I GO”)
Q: It’s like a warmth. (“THH”)
V: Right.
Q: It’s better than sex, though. Well, it’s like where you were just were — (“IN THE”) the warm water of the meditation tank or what do you call it?
V: Flotation tank.
Q: Flotation tank. Right. Well, I have that all the time when Mighael is in a love-channeling mood.
V: Right.
Q: Or I am. (“UM-HUH”) I’m not sure how it works. (“ANYWAY”) Oh, by the way, I turned on my tape recorder too, I think. (“KKK”) Yeah, it’s going. Because I’m no longer see my previous therapist. The first time I tried taping a session the battery was dead and we talked all about things that Mighael didn’t want me to talk about for my book. I don’t know if I’m still working on the same book. (“BECAUSE IT’S”) I realized that I literally have thousands of pages. Not just several hundred but thousands of pages of interviews.
V: Mmmm.
Q: (blowing sound) Sssssshhh! So — well, here, let me just get situated. Let me take off my jacket.
V: Sure.
Q: So first before we start — and I really got a lot out of the last session.
V: Great. (“YOU”)
Q: The one thing my therapist wanted me to ask or to ascertain — and I didn’t think it was relevant, personally, but she suggested (“THAT”) the next therapist I have be a gay therapist. And I said, “Well, I don’t think it really makes a difference” because I don’t consider myself gay even though if I was practicing sexually I probably would be gay. (“YEAH”) But I’m not. (“TTT” “LAY”) In fact, this is what we were talking about — sex — the time (“THAT MY TAPE”) the batteries went dead on my tape recorder. (“NOW”) But now I think I can handle the issues a little bit more delicately than I was with her.
V: Sure. (“I’M A”)
Q: Who knows?
V: Mmmm.
Q: Maybe He won’t like this. (“BUT WHAT ARE YOU”) I mean do you reveal to your clients what your sexual —
V: I’m heterosexual.
Q: You’re heterosexual.
V: Yes.
Q: Good. I prefer that. I mean I’ve only had one sexual relationship in my life and that was very unfulfilling. Basically, you might say I achieved satisfaction and my sex partner didn’t as far as I can tell. (“CASE”) That’s part of the case history.
V: Sure. (“WELL”) We’re always learning and the fact is that sexuality is very much a part of our personality. It’s very much a part of ourselves.
Q: Exactly. (“YEAH”)
V: We have a power to grow in every (“UM-HUH”) way and growing sexually and romantically —
Q: One of my (“COMPLICA” “SEE”) complications — basically, on one of the tapes the Entity Mighael, the angel/whatever/God (“DDD”) said that “YOU AND ME” — (“I”) that we were both gay. So if I was undecided before, when I heard that it really made me feel more open to it. Or more enthusiastic about it.
V: Mmmm. (“NO”)
Q: Because I’m sexualizing — I began sexualizing — I’m not really sexualizing that relationship any more with Mighael. But I guess the only thing relevant I should tell you is that (“YOU KNOW” “OKAY”) my previous therapist thought (“THAT”) I had created or invented Mighael because of a difficulty with intimacy with other people. And I tried to explain that, first of all, His name was Mighael before I ever got to Oklahoma.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And (“DID”) did you read any of the material I gave you?
V: Yes.
Q: So what was your basic overall reception to that? (“GOOD”)
V: Very interesting. And it’s —
Q: You don’t really see what direction it’s going in yet because this is only the first day of interviews and two prelude phone calls that you’ve read. Not even the entire first day. (“SO”) Can you imagine doing that much interviewing in one day?
V: It’s a lot. More than 300 pages. (“YEAH”)
Q: Mighael said I had a missing time period (“YEAH”) on one of the tapes. (“LIKE”) I don’t know if you read that in there.
V: Yes. That’s right. (“SO”)
Q: I’ve had a missing time period.
V: Well. (laughs)
Q: It didn’t feel like one at the time.
V: Uh-huh.
Q: It felt like a normal day. (“I JUS[T]” “IT” “WAS”) Just a very productive day. I mean I wasn’t aboard a UFO, as far as I know, or anything. (“NO”) Even though it was a UFO landing area.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Let’s see. What else should I tell you that’s relevant? (“SO UM”) Well, what questions do you have?
V: Let me first of all ask — well, obviously you can obviously raise whatever questions you want.
Q: Right. Exactly. (“EXACTLY”)
V: One thing I always ask people is what goals do you aim to achieve through hypnotherapy?
Q: Well, as you know, I’m working on my book and I use therapy to organize my thoughts, which is the same thing for interviews; and to share the love that I have with Mighael because, basically, He revealed Himself to me. So it’s sort of like I am the symbol — I mean it’s so hard being the symbol for ultimate goodness.
V: Mmmm. (“YOU KNOW”)
Q: But I have been chosen that, fulfilling all the prophecies of Son of Man, Mabus ([ECHO] “SO”) and many others. You know — Nostradamus, what-have-you.
V: Sure.
Q: So, anyway, it’s very difficult because you’re always worried about being politically correct. And God, Himself, isn’t the most politically correct person in the world.
V: Quite so. (small laugh)
Q: And I see Mighael as His alter-ego. (“YOU KNOW BEING”) I mean the angel Michael “who is as God.” Either He’s one and the same or He’s working through the angel’s subconscious mind and I can’t figure it out. So that’s one of the things I want to come to terms with. So I can be honest in dealing with (“QQ”) perplexing questions. I usually transcribe the tapes verbatim in my book but I think in our sessions I will delete some of the discussions because I don’t think it would be right. For example, the reincarnation aspect. There’s no way on earth anyone can truly know who they’re the reincarnation of. The last time I was here I did tape the interview but I had problems because I used a ninety-minute cassette. So I don’t know if I’m ever going to have time to transcribe that. I probably will but it won’t be very good because I lost a generation. (“BUT”) It seemed to signify that I was the reincarnation of those two people I talked about.
V: Sure.
Q: Did you think so?
V: Certainly, you know them very well and you have a great deal of empathy.
Q: Yeah, well I might — (“KKK”) I don’t know but I was transcribing one tape last week and I was saying, “You don’t know” for certain if you are the reincarnation of someone or not, and this one spirit said, “ARE YOU SURE — ARE YOU SURE” And no, I’m not sure. Because the one telling moment — and Mighael, I’m going to edit this out later so don’t make the batteries go dead — I did hear the original Jesus once say, “FATHER, I HAVE WAITED SO LONG.”
V: Mmmm. (“SO”)
Q: I think it’s possible I am the reincarnation of Jesus but I don’t think Mighael wants that getting out if that is the case. And I don’t think it is the case, actually. It’s confusing. (“BUT”) That was strange. Either I’m channeling Him or something is going on. (“BUT IF”) If I was, let’s say, He wouldn’t want that to come out because then people would idolize me instead of Him. And that’s not the point. (“TTT”) But I don’t think that’s really the case. I think Jesus was just sort of a made-up character. There was some basis for his story as we know it. I mean there was somebody obviously who lived. But, basically, I think all of these resurrection stories can be traced back to Bel-Marduk, the god (Amun-)Ra in Egypt.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And just this last week I found a small pendant at an antique store which I believe is the god (Amun-)Ra and he looked exactly like me. (“SO” “DA[D] — IT”) I think that’s the one that I would feel most confident about saying “I am the reincarnation of.” Bel-Marduk. And, possibly, those two females who I wrote about in my two scripts. (“SSS”) And I don’t know about Jesus. Even though it was strange (“I”) I heard his voice that one time. So, anyway. (“YYY”) It’s something to think about. (“MM”)
V: Sure.
Q: And gain clarity on. Also, I don’t know if I’m just a symbol or His son or His friend. I don’t know what I — I think I’m His son even though I don’t want to be. Because of various indications. (“IN FACT”) There was just a song on the radio about fatherhood. I can’t even remember what song it was. It doesn’t really matter. (“BUT UM”) In fact, one of the things I do in therapy is (“TALK LIKE”) the normal things that I do. For example, some of the tapes I grabbed to play on the way over here were Nina Hagen in Ekstasy which has a lot of New Age songs. (“MM”) Are you familiar with her?
V: Yes.
Q: Such as “Gods of Aquarius” — coming in UFOs and all that —
V: Mmmm.
Q: — “Spirit in the Sky” and “The Lord’s Prayer.” And I brought XTC’s Nonsuch CD. I guess the single on the album was “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead.” Sort of another Christ story. (“UM-HUH”) Are you familiar with this CD?
V: Yes, I’ve seen it.
Q: It’s a good one.
V: I think they might even have it on sale here actually. (small laugh)
Q: Oh really?
V: Yeah, they’ve got a whole lot of CDS. New Age CDS on sale.
Q: I’ll have to take a look at those.
V: Right in front.
Q: And, of course, I’ve been listening a lot to Joan Osborne who did quite well in the Grammy nominations. I like every song on her CD. I guess the one that fits me the most — I know you think I’m going to say “One of Us.” But I think it’s “Crazy Baby.” Because I’m God’s ‘crazy baby.’ But He’s totally made me crazy. I mean I don’t smoke but you can imagine.
V: Sure. (“BUT THERE ARE”)
Q: Every (“DD”) one of the things that I’ve learned when God revealed Himself to me is that every book, every song, every poem is channeled. (“WHH”) It’s a gift of love from God to specific individuals. And He expects each one to repay Him for this gift. That’s about as close to putting it into words that I can come. And I don’t know if I’m His soulmate or — I mean I think that since He’s a Spirit it’s like (“NONE”) no word really applies. But I can definitely tell you — (“I CAN EX”) finally explain the Holy Ghost.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Before my experience in Oklahoma I could not really comprehend what exactly was the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is basically God when He takes possession of someone or channels through someone through their subconscious mind. That is the Holy Ghost. (“AT LEAST”) As close as you can put it into words. So there was a period (“WHEN I”) when I came back from Oklahoma that I was saying bizarre things to people. And now, looking back, I really feel as if I was possessed by God.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And I was saying — in fact, that’s one thing I was trying to remember today so I could relive that moment for a future screenplay. If I could just relive some of my conversation, I could preserve it on tape. (“PP” “FOR”) Like I remember the most important conversation was one that I had with my brother who’s also named Michael. For a while, my therapist thought that I had invented a surrogate Michael to take the place (“CCE”) of my brother who has HIV. But if you read my book you know that’s not what’s going on here.
V: Sure. (“SO”)
Q: And I want you to be honest with me. I want you to challenge me when you feel like challenging me. For example, saying that I’m Mabus — you may or may not agree with that. I don’t know. I don’t know how familiar you are with Nostradamus. (“HELLO”)
V: I’ve read his stanzas.
Q: Right. Letters in Mark Russell Bell is an anagram of Mabus. (“UU”) I am an identical twin. In fact, I’ll show you (“SOME QUICK”) some quick photos that I have of my twin brother just so you’ll know I’m not making him up. (“RR”) Even though I’m sure you wouldn’t think I’d make up a twin brother. (“HA HO”)
V: I’m sure he exists. (small laugh)
Q: But some people would think (“YEAH”) anything is possible. So — (“GO”) oh here. Now these were taken at parties. Christmas parties so they’re with naked fairies and things. (“SO DON’T”) So don’t be —
V: (laughs) (“YOU KNOW”)
Q: They’re a laugh.
V: Great. Oh, very good. (laughs)
Q: There’s me with my Indiana Jones jacket. That was actually taken at the APLA party because I’m a volunteer (“FOR”) for APLA.
V: Uh-huh. Wow.
Q: I’m on the Southern California HIV/AIDS Hotline.
V: Great.
Q: And this photo was taken at Michael’s friend Bob Sertner’s party, a big Hollywood party in the Hollywood Hills.
V: Great.
Q: Or I should say Hollywood Hells, which is one of the themes of my book.
V: (laughs) (“THE VOWELS”)
Q: Bel Air. Get it? Bel?
V: (laughs)
Q: One of the things I also did was I went on the Grave Line tour. And, of course, Mighael was very active during the tour. I haven’t played it back yet or transcribed it. (“BUT”) I would like Mighael to reveal to me the secrets of all the murders.
V: Mmmm.
Q: He could. If He wanted to. And I did hear Him a little bit when I checked the tape. So I know He was in a talkative mood that day. He was even singing an Abba song. (“YEAH”)
V: (small laugh)
Q: So I feel very good about beginning therapy with you.
V: Great.
Q: And, well, first, (“WHAT”) do you have any questions after reading some of the material? Or about (“LIKE”) Nostradamus? There was one section I read in one of my books. It said (“THE”) “The Man in the Iron Mask” and another one said “Mabus the Painter.” Well, you know, I paint.
V: Sure.
Q: I’m actually getting an up-to-date book on Nostradamus. (“UMMM”) It’s only available through the (“PAP”) Quality Paperback Book Club.
V: Ohh.
Q: So I sent away for that. So I can see exactly — (“I”) they’re all different in (“INTERPRETED” “DD”) that they have different interpretations. But there was one I was looking at today by somebody with the last name of King, which is my mother’s original name, and he said that a twin infant would be found in front of a monastery and, of course, I live (“IN”) beside two monasteries.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And what else? (“SSE”) He would be descended from a lineage of kings. Of course, there’s my Russell family. (“HAS”) King Olaf the Sharp-eyed — and I can’t remember all their names but there are all these kings.
V: Um-huh. (“SO”)
Q: On both sides I have Kings. (“SSS”) So it’s very interesting. (“GRE[AT]” “SO”) I know hypnosis is very relaxing. (“BUT UM”) I guess the first thing I would like to do is try to remember as guesswork — mimic myself making that all-important phone call to my brother when I was almost, like, channeling God.
V: Mmmm.
Q: There was a sensation of heightened experience. I’ve been thinking about counter-reality recently too. Like how different things can happen in different counter-realities.
V: Sure. (“BUT”)
Q: That’s something that’s too hard to get into, I think. (“KKK” “BUT” “ONE OF THE”) One of the problems when you are designated as the Christ figure for a planet is thinking that it is all a dream or it is just something (“YOU”) that you created. I’ve even wondered at times if everyone else in the world (“IS NOT”) is just part of my dream. (“YOU” “WHICH YOU COULD THI[NK]”) Under the circumstances, wouldn’t you do the same thing? (“YEAH”) I mean how could I be the one out of billions of people to be this chosen entity? You know? It makes sense, doesn’t it? (“SURE”) That maybe it would be a dream or (“THE”) like in the movie “Total Recall.”
V: Mmmm. (“BUT”)
Q: You are your own separate consciousness.
V: Um-huh. (“SO”)
Q: It might just be that I’m symbolic. (“AAL” “YOU KNOW”) So it’s interesting. The last chapter in a book — what was it? Babylon — (“NNN” “WII” “OH” “IT”) There’s a book. I can’t remember the title of it — The Gods of Babylon, I think.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I MEANT THE GODS OF EDEN BY WILLIAM BRAMLEY.)
(“MM”)
Q: The last chapter (“WAS TALKY”) talked about how God would choose another individual to play a game with.
V: Mmmm.
Q: To prove His existence. Or reaffirm His existence. Or whatever. And it said that this entity would be no more evil or no more good than any other but would help Him come to some terms with mankind.
V: Right. (“SO”)
Q: Apparently, I’m this individual. And I feel very lucky and blessed. (“SO” “AND JUST FOR YOU”) More background information: He has had me subconsciously going out shopping and buying the most important relics in history. I own the Ark of the Covenant.
V: Wow. (“HA”) That’s an achievement. (“IN”)
Q: Right. The original Declaration of Independence. (“THAT”) People thought was lost at the printers. The Holy Grail.
V: Mmmm.
Q: An original Last Supper copper engraving. It looks Italian. I bet it’s Michelangelo or Leonardo Da Vinci. (“BUT”) Michel — angel — o? (“IT’S A BIT”) I mean that’s the one I’m thinking that it might be.
V: Sure.
Q: And what else? And also (“NOW”) maybe you know this. You know about Eastern religions.
V: A little bit.
Q: I bought this fantastic door. A temple door but miniature.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Very old. They guess 900 years. I think it’s older than that. Is there a famous door in Buddhism or something (“THAT”) maybe Buddha owned? Are you familiar with that?
V: Oh sure.
Q: What is it?
V: Prince Gautama.
Q: Explain that.
V: The door?
Q: Yeah.
V: Well, I mean Prince Gautama — I’m sure you know about the origins of Buddhism.
Q: No, I don’t know. (“WELL PRINCE”)
V: Prince Gautama was a member of the royal family. This was in India and, basically, his father protected him from the poverty of the common people and he lived in great wealth and splendor. However, eventually he did come to experience the poverty of the people and went on to become a great religious leader known as the Buddha. And, (“DAY”) as I remember, he had a whole lot of artifacts which were associated with him. (“YEAH”) One of which I think was some sort of a door or something like that.
Q: So it was a miniature door?
V: I think it could have been. Yes. There’s a whole load of ([SINGING] “RELIC”) relics associated with —
Q: I see. Well, I own that. (“BUDDHA”) By the way, I did interview Keanu Reeves once.
V: Ahhh.
Q: So there are many connections which some people would think were silly. But when you begin thinking of symbolism — I had a lunch interview with Keanu Reeves who played Buddha. Same thing.
V: Quite so.
Q: (laughs)
V: (laughs)
Q: I also have a friend or an acquaintance, really, named Baba. And he appears on the “George and Alana” show. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that show. You have?
V: Ohh, I may have done. Yes.
Q: Okay, well do you remember —
V: I’m not a great TV watcher.
Q: — I think he’s Indian. And he’s a Buddhist. And when I went to dinner with him and my friend James, he was joking about his Buddha belly.
V: (laughs)
Q: And get this. He became famous because a Los Angeles Times reporter saw him hugging a tree. So I was telling him that he was the reincarnation of Buddha. Or close to the energy of Buddha.
V: Mmmm.
Q: It’s hard to tell exactly what’s going on. (“SSS”) And he told me he’d sold out. I mean this is the 20th century so, of course, Buddha has sold out (“AND HAS”) and reoccurs on the “George and Alana” show.
V: (laughs)
Q: As a chef.
V: Well, you have to change with the times, haven’t you? (laughs)
Q: Exactly. So I still haven’t sold out.
V: Right.
Q: Good for me.
V: Well done. (“I FEEL”)
Q: Yeah. (“SO” “OKAY”) So what questions do you have before we start therapy?
V: Okay. Where’d you know about these things? And how do you know, for instance, about this relationship with Mabus?
Q: I don’t know anything for sure. (“INCREASE”)
V: None of us do.
Q: Exactly, but Mark: M — A — (“MMMM”)
V: Mmmm.
Q: — Bell: B — Russell: U — S. 'Mabus.' (“AND”) That name is a pseudonym. It’s my writer’s pseudonym. (“MM” “MY NA[ME]”) My real name is Mark Gordon Russell. I would love to get into numerology with this stuff. But my friend, Marie, was crossing the street when God or Mighael or Whatever told her “MARK RUSSELL BELL.” So she called me and said, “Your name is to be Mark Russell Bell.” I mean I didn’t legally change it. I just took it as my pseudonym. I guess eventually I will have it legally changed. You know. (“YOU KNOW”) I might as well. (“SO”) Do you know of any other anagrams of Mabus? Not right now. I mean I’m just saying —
V: Now not that I think of. (laughs)
Q: People have tried over the years. (“TRY”) Because there was one chapter in one book somewhere that said “Mabus The Painter” and it was someone — (“MM”) Mabuse who they thought (“NO”) might have been. Well, they were wrong. (“A”) Because it also talks about the Son of Man. And (“HOW HIS”) on Christmas Day I was talking into my tape recorder while looking at cloud formations. And I saw a giant dove. (“I”) Well, first I saw an angel. (“IN THE”) In the clouds. And it changed into a giant dove. At that time, I wasn’t thinking about Nostradamus but there is a quatrain that says a dove in the stars or sky would be seen — (“WW”) which means (“THAT”) the time for the Son is ‘nigh.’
V: Mmmm.
Q: So I’m both. (“AND”) People haven’t connected Mabus with the Son of Man. I’m the one who’s making that connection and plus there’s that other quatrain that I told you about earlier which people have been associating with the Man in the Iron Mask. (“YEAH”) So I can see these parallels because I am the individual. (“BUT”) Can I prove it? No. I can’t. But, again, could the original Jesus prove anything that he said? No.
V: Quite so.
Q: He couldn’t. (“I MEAN”) It’s the same basic dilemma.
V: Mmmm.
Q: So, anyway, it’s interesting to think about. And my last therapist just challenged me. I couldn’t get past the challenging point for many reasons. And she’s psychic.
V: Oh, is she? Right.
Q: So you would think I would have had a little bit better luck but it wasn’t meant to be. Because now I want to find out — well, you can imagine. (“I WAS”) I would like to take it a step further and ask some of the more difficult questions. By the way, another good book for background information — (“HHH”) are you familiar with Letters From the Earth (“THE”) by Mark Twain?
V: Oh yes. Well, I haven’t actually read it, I confess, but this is well-known.
Q: There are a few books that might be good background if you can find them. That is one. (“BECAUSE THESE”) These are all books that came to me. And when they come to me something is happening to bring them to me.
V: Sure.
Q: Another one is called Love’s Awakening. It’s a channeled book. (“SO UM”) I still haven’t gotten my copy back from Faith at the Hotline. (“SO”) When she gives that back — if she gives that back I’ll give it to you.
V: Great. Thanks.
Q: I do have one copy but I sort of want to keep my one copy with my other library because I talk about it in one of the chapters.
V: Sure.
Q: So what else? (“THOSE ARE”) And also all the works of Zecharia Sitchin. Because he talks a lot about Bel-Marduk and he just published a new book about angels.
V: Mmmm. (“SO”)
Q: I haven’t had time to read everything, though. And I haven’t really read (“THE THE THE”) Messages From Michael books. So I haven’t made up my mind about those. Some times I think that they’re true and other days I think they’re completely ridiculous and made up. It’s probably about fifty/fifty. Interesting. So what else? So what other questions do you have?
V: How do you feel about these powers? How do you feel about the fact that you’ve been chosen, the fact that you experienced these entities in this way?
Q: Well, I’ve had very mixed feelings. At first, it was just such a cascade of different conflicting feelings because I was trying to figure out if He was a loving God or an angry God. And I projected evil into Him. And I think there was some evil in Him. I think He really wanted me to see His dark side. I mean it definitely was a demonic force.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Because the way He orchestrated what was — that I went to this place in Alhambra. In fact, you might have seen that file in what I gave you at the very end.
V: Mmmm.
Q: It was like at one moment people would be saying, “Oh, you’ll be out of here tomorrow.” And then the next moment I was being put on a 15-day hold. And this was in a place where I could not even go outside.
V: Hm.
Q: No fresh air.
V: Mm.
Q: Nothing to read.
V: Terrible.
Q: Nothing (“TO EAT”) interesting on TV. The running water went out. Three to a room. (“IT WAS HH”) It was — and then people were coming up to me and telling me they wanted to eat me. And people were talking about experiences on other planets. Well, it was God possessing other people to see how I would respond. Like if I would react with love. (“IF”) If I would stop loving Him. I don’t know.
V: Mmmm.
Q: He even once pretended that He was (“GOOD KISS”) considering suicide, which is impossible. (“SO”) He wanted to see what my reaction was. (“AND I THINK”) All in all, I think He was very pleased. Needless to say. Or I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing.
V: Sure. (“I” “SO”)
Q: I don’t know. (“IT’S” “I”) It’s cool. It’s neat. I mean all these 20th century words. (“I KNOW”) It’s hard to express because (“I STILL”) I mean you read these various books and you don’t know — He’s both an angry (“GUY”) God and a loving God. (“I MEAN”) Why else (“DOES”) does the insect the fly exist, which is His most beloved creature if you’ve read Letters From the Earth.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THE LITERAL ANSWER WOULD BE THAT THEY ARE WONDERFUL SCAVENGERS OF REFUSE.)
(“I MEAN HE”)
Q: He still has big problems with — He still hasn’t forgiven Adam and Eve. And since we’re all descended from Adam and Eve we have to pay the price. So the one thing I tell every(“BO”)body is before you go to bed at night—and you should do this too—just say “Adam and Eve suck. I surrender (“NEVER”) my life and will to God.” And trust me, your life will go better.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Interesting.
V: Exactly.
Q: (laughs)
V: Yeah. (“UHH” “OH”) And have you found that yourself? Have you found that your life has gone better as a result of making that declaration? (“WELL”)
Q: Well, I had made that declaration—without putting it into words—in Alhambra. (“SO”) Even though it helps me to find the right words to say. But now I’m not saying “I surrender my life” because I think it’s not the right word for me. (“YEAH”) I bestow my life and my love and my will.
V: Mmmm.
Q: By the way, the good thing about this new tape recorder is that it beeps at the end of the side so we don’t have to worry about it ending at weird moments. I can just (“FLIP” “YOU KNOW”) turn it over even though — I guess under hypnosis you can still do things like that.
V: Sure. Whatever you like. If you want me to turn it over —
Q: I don’t mind doing it. (“BUT BUT”) We’ll see how —
V: Yeah, that’s fine. (“WE’LL JUST FAKE IT”)
Q: — it goes.
V: Just, yeah, play it by ear.
Q: So what other questions do you have? (“NO”) Well, first of all, do you think I’m nuts?
V: No, I don’t. On the contrary. I’m aware that everybody has a certain series of symbols that’s very important to them. And these symbols are a way in which they understand reality. These symbols can be used to bring about changes which can enable that person to (“BRING” “A”) live the life they want to live. And your awareness of these symbols is actually a very powerful, very positive attribute. Awareness of Mighael. Awareness of spirituality. Awareness of these entities. These manifestations which can be used to bring about whatever beneficial changes you want in your life.
(“BUT”)
Q: They’re not changes I want in my life. They’re changes that He wants in my life. (“I”)
Q: Hi.
V: Mark, how are you?
Q: Mighael and I started without you.
V: (laughs) How can you — yeah.
Q: Yes.
V: (laughs)
Q: I can feel Him. (“I”) Once in a while, like, He just — I can feel (“LIKE”) strands of my hair shifting back slowly. (“YEAH”)
V: Um-hmm.
Q: It’s about as much as He does. Or once in a while He’ll touch me or give me a little flick. (“ON A”) Once when I said (“YOU KNOW THIS WAS”) a joke, He did that but —
V: Mmmm. (“IT’S”)
Q: — do you feel — it’s unusually warm in here, isn’t it?
V: Mmmm.
Q: So that’s Him. (“WE”) This is like how we have sex.
V: Mmmm. (“NI” “AS I GO”)
Q: It’s like a warmth. (“THH”)
V: Right.
Q: It’s better than sex, though. Well, it’s like where you were just were — (“IN THE”) the warm water of the meditation tank or what do you call it?
V: Flotation tank.
Q: Flotation tank. Right. Well, I have that all the time when Mighael is in a love-channeling mood.
V: Right.
Q: Or I am. (“UM-HUH”) I’m not sure how it works. (“ANYWAY”) Oh, by the way, I turned on my tape recorder too, I think. (“KKK”) Yeah, it’s going. Because I’m no longer see my previous therapist. The first time I tried taping a session the battery was dead and we talked all about things that Mighael didn’t want me to talk about for my book. I don’t know if I’m still working on the same book. (“BECAUSE IT’S”) I realized that I literally have thousands of pages. Not just several hundred but thousands of pages of interviews.
V: Mmmm.
Q: (blowing sound) Sssssshhh! So — well, here, let me just get situated. Let me take off my jacket.
V: Sure.
Q: So first before we start — and I really got a lot out of the last session.
V: Great. (“YOU”)
Q: The one thing my therapist wanted me to ask or to ascertain — and I didn’t think it was relevant, personally, but she suggested (“THAT”) the next therapist I have be a gay therapist. And I said, “Well, I don’t think it really makes a difference” because I don’t consider myself gay even though if I was practicing sexually I probably would be gay. (“YEAH”) But I’m not. (“TTT” “LAY”) In fact, this is what we were talking about — sex — the time (“THAT MY TAPE”) the batteries went dead on my tape recorder. (“NOW”) But now I think I can handle the issues a little bit more delicately than I was with her.
V: Sure. (“I’M A”)
Q: Who knows?
V: Mmmm.
Q: Maybe He won’t like this. (“BUT WHAT ARE YOU”) I mean do you reveal to your clients what your sexual —
V: I’m heterosexual.
Q: You’re heterosexual.
V: Yes.
Q: Good. I prefer that. I mean I’ve only had one sexual relationship in my life and that was very unfulfilling. Basically, you might say I achieved satisfaction and my sex partner didn’t as far as I can tell. (“CASE”) That’s part of the case history.
V: Sure. (“WELL”) We’re always learning and the fact is that sexuality is very much a part of our personality. It’s very much a part of ourselves.
Q: Exactly. (“YEAH”)
V: We have a power to grow in every (“UM-HUH”) way and growing sexually and romantically —
Q: One of my (“COMPLICA” “SEE”) complications — basically, on one of the tapes the Entity Mighael, the angel/whatever/God (“DDD”) said that “YOU AND ME” — (“I”) that we were both gay. So if I was undecided before, when I heard that it really made me feel more open to it. Or more enthusiastic about it.
V: Mmmm. (“NO”)
Q: Because I’m sexualizing — I began sexualizing — I’m not really sexualizing that relationship any more with Mighael. But I guess the only thing relevant I should tell you is that (“YOU KNOW” “OKAY”) my previous therapist thought (“THAT”) I had created or invented Mighael because of a difficulty with intimacy with other people. And I tried to explain that, first of all, His name was Mighael before I ever got to Oklahoma.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And (“DID”) did you read any of the material I gave you?
V: Yes.
Q: So what was your basic overall reception to that? (“GOOD”)
V: Very interesting. And it’s —
Q: You don’t really see what direction it’s going in yet because this is only the first day of interviews and two prelude phone calls that you’ve read. Not even the entire first day. (“SO”) Can you imagine doing that much interviewing in one day?
V: It’s a lot. More than 300 pages. (“YEAH”)
Q: Mighael said I had a missing time period (“YEAH”) on one of the tapes. (“LIKE”) I don’t know if you read that in there.
V: Yes. That’s right. (“SO”)
Q: I’ve had a missing time period.
V: Well. (laughs)
Q: It didn’t feel like one at the time.
V: Uh-huh.
Q: It felt like a normal day. (“I JUS[T]” “IT” “WAS”) Just a very productive day. I mean I wasn’t aboard a UFO, as far as I know, or anything. (“NO”) Even though it was a UFO landing area.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Let’s see. What else should I tell you that’s relevant? (“SO UM”) Well, what questions do you have?
V: Let me first of all ask — well, obviously you can obviously raise whatever questions you want.
Q: Right. Exactly. (“EXACTLY”)
V: One thing I always ask people is what goals do you aim to achieve through hypnotherapy?
Q: Well, as you know, I’m working on my book and I use therapy to organize my thoughts, which is the same thing for interviews; and to share the love that I have with Mighael because, basically, He revealed Himself to me. So it’s sort of like I am the symbol — I mean it’s so hard being the symbol for ultimate goodness.
V: Mmmm. (“YOU KNOW”)
Q: But I have been chosen that, fulfilling all the prophecies of Son of Man, Mabus ([ECHO] “SO”) and many others. You know — Nostradamus, what-have-you.
V: Sure.
Q: So, anyway, it’s very difficult because you’re always worried about being politically correct. And God, Himself, isn’t the most politically correct person in the world.
V: Quite so. (small laugh)
Q: And I see Mighael as His alter-ego. (“YOU KNOW BEING”) I mean the angel Michael “who is as God.” Either He’s one and the same or He’s working through the angel’s subconscious mind and I can’t figure it out. So that’s one of the things I want to come to terms with. So I can be honest in dealing with (“QQ”) perplexing questions. I usually transcribe the tapes verbatim in my book but I think in our sessions I will delete some of the discussions because I don’t think it would be right. For example, the reincarnation aspect. There’s no way on earth anyone can truly know who they’re the reincarnation of. The last time I was here I did tape the interview but I had problems because I used a ninety-minute cassette. So I don’t know if I’m ever going to have time to transcribe that. I probably will but it won’t be very good because I lost a generation. (“BUT”) It seemed to signify that I was the reincarnation of those two people I talked about.
V: Sure.
Q: Did you think so?
V: Certainly, you know them very well and you have a great deal of empathy.
Q: Yeah, well I might — (“KKK”) I don’t know but I was transcribing one tape last week and I was saying, “You don’t know” for certain if you are the reincarnation of someone or not, and this one spirit said, “ARE YOU SURE — ARE YOU SURE” And no, I’m not sure. Because the one telling moment — and Mighael, I’m going to edit this out later so don’t make the batteries go dead — I did hear the original Jesus once say, “FATHER, I HAVE WAITED SO LONG.”
V: Mmmm. (“SO”)
Q: I think it’s possible I am the reincarnation of Jesus but I don’t think Mighael wants that getting out if that is the case. And I don’t think it is the case, actually. It’s confusing. (“BUT”) That was strange. Either I’m channeling Him or something is going on. (“BUT IF”) If I was, let’s say, He wouldn’t want that to come out because then people would idolize me instead of Him. And that’s not the point. (“TTT”) But I don’t think that’s really the case. I think Jesus was just sort of a made-up character. There was some basis for his story as we know it. I mean there was somebody obviously who lived. But, basically, I think all of these resurrection stories can be traced back to Bel-Marduk, the god (Amun-)Ra in Egypt.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And just this last week I found a small pendant at an antique store which I believe is the god (Amun-)Ra and he looked exactly like me. (“SO” “DA[D] — IT”) I think that’s the one that I would feel most confident about saying “I am the reincarnation of.” Bel-Marduk. And, possibly, those two females who I wrote about in my two scripts. (“SSS”) And I don’t know about Jesus. Even though it was strange (“I”) I heard his voice that one time. So, anyway. (“YYY”) It’s something to think about. (“MM”)
V: Sure.
Q: And gain clarity on. Also, I don’t know if I’m just a symbol or His son or His friend. I don’t know what I — I think I’m His son even though I don’t want to be. Because of various indications. (“IN FACT”) There was just a song on the radio about fatherhood. I can’t even remember what song it was. It doesn’t really matter. (“BUT UM”) In fact, one of the things I do in therapy is (“TALK LIKE”) the normal things that I do. For example, some of the tapes I grabbed to play on the way over here were Nina Hagen in Ekstasy which has a lot of New Age songs. (“MM”) Are you familiar with her?
V: Yes.
Q: Such as “Gods of Aquarius” — coming in UFOs and all that —
V: Mmmm.
Q: — “Spirit in the Sky” and “The Lord’s Prayer.” And I brought XTC’s Nonsuch CD. I guess the single on the album was “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead.” Sort of another Christ story. (“UM-HUH”) Are you familiar with this CD?
V: Yes, I’ve seen it.
Q: It’s a good one.
V: I think they might even have it on sale here actually. (small laugh)
Q: Oh really?
V: Yeah, they’ve got a whole lot of CDS. New Age CDS on sale.
Q: I’ll have to take a look at those.
V: Right in front.
Q: And, of course, I’ve been listening a lot to Joan Osborne who did quite well in the Grammy nominations. I like every song on her CD. I guess the one that fits me the most — I know you think I’m going to say “One of Us.” But I think it’s “Crazy Baby.” Because I’m God’s ‘crazy baby.’ But He’s totally made me crazy. I mean I don’t smoke but you can imagine.
V: Sure. (“BUT THERE ARE”)
Q: Every (“DD”) one of the things that I’ve learned when God revealed Himself to me is that every book, every song, every poem is channeled. (“WHH”) It’s a gift of love from God to specific individuals. And He expects each one to repay Him for this gift. That’s about as close to putting it into words that I can come. And I don’t know if I’m His soulmate or — I mean I think that since He’s a Spirit it’s like (“NONE”) no word really applies. But I can definitely tell you — (“I CAN EX”) finally explain the Holy Ghost.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Before my experience in Oklahoma I could not really comprehend what exactly was the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is basically God when He takes possession of someone or channels through someone through their subconscious mind. That is the Holy Ghost. (“AT LEAST”) As close as you can put it into words. So there was a period (“WHEN I”) when I came back from Oklahoma that I was saying bizarre things to people. And now, looking back, I really feel as if I was possessed by God.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And I was saying — in fact, that’s one thing I was trying to remember today so I could relive that moment for a future screenplay. If I could just relive some of my conversation, I could preserve it on tape. (“PP” “FOR”) Like I remember the most important conversation was one that I had with my brother who’s also named Michael. For a while, my therapist thought that I had invented a surrogate Michael to take the place (“CCE”) of my brother who has HIV. But if you read my book you know that’s not what’s going on here.
V: Sure. (“SO”)
Q: And I want you to be honest with me. I want you to challenge me when you feel like challenging me. For example, saying that I’m Mabus — you may or may not agree with that. I don’t know. I don’t know how familiar you are with Nostradamus. (“HELLO”)
V: I’ve read his stanzas.
Q: Right. Letters in Mark Russell Bell is an anagram of Mabus. (“UU”) I am an identical twin. In fact, I’ll show you (“SOME QUICK”) some quick photos that I have of my twin brother just so you’ll know I’m not making him up. (“RR”) Even though I’m sure you wouldn’t think I’d make up a twin brother. (“HA HO”)
V: I’m sure he exists. (small laugh)
Q: But some people would think (“YEAH”) anything is possible. So — (“GO”) oh here. Now these were taken at parties. Christmas parties so they’re with naked fairies and things. (“SO DON’T”) So don’t be —
V: (laughs) (“YOU KNOW”)
Q: They’re a laugh.
V: Great. Oh, very good. (laughs)
Q: There’s me with my Indiana Jones jacket. That was actually taken at the APLA party because I’m a volunteer (“FOR”) for APLA.
V: Uh-huh. Wow.
Q: I’m on the Southern California HIV/AIDS Hotline.
V: Great.
Q: And this photo was taken at Michael’s friend Bob Sertner’s party, a big Hollywood party in the Hollywood Hills.
V: Great.
Q: Or I should say Hollywood Hells, which is one of the themes of my book.
V: (laughs) (“THE VOWELS”)
Q: Bel Air. Get it? Bel?
V: (laughs)
Q: One of the things I also did was I went on the Grave Line tour. And, of course, Mighael was very active during the tour. I haven’t played it back yet or transcribed it. (“BUT”) I would like Mighael to reveal to me the secrets of all the murders.
V: Mmmm.
Q: He could. If He wanted to. And I did hear Him a little bit when I checked the tape. So I know He was in a talkative mood that day. He was even singing an Abba song. (“YEAH”)
V: (small laugh)
Q: So I feel very good about beginning therapy with you.
V: Great.
Q: And, well, first, (“WHAT”) do you have any questions after reading some of the material? Or about (“LIKE”) Nostradamus? There was one section I read in one of my books. It said (“THE”) “The Man in the Iron Mask” and another one said “Mabus the Painter.” Well, you know, I paint.
V: Sure.
Q: I’m actually getting an up-to-date book on Nostradamus. (“UMMM”) It’s only available through the (“PAP”) Quality Paperback Book Club.
V: Ohh.
Q: So I sent away for that. So I can see exactly — (“I”) they’re all different in (“INTERPRETED” “DD”) that they have different interpretations. But there was one I was looking at today by somebody with the last name of King, which is my mother’s original name, and he said that a twin infant would be found in front of a monastery and, of course, I live (“IN”) beside two monasteries.
V: Mmmm.
Q: And what else? (“SSE”) He would be descended from a lineage of kings. Of course, there’s my Russell family. (“HAS”) King Olaf the Sharp-eyed — and I can’t remember all their names but there are all these kings.
V: Um-huh. (“SO”)
Q: On both sides I have Kings. (“SSS”) So it’s very interesting. (“GRE[AT]” “SO”) I know hypnosis is very relaxing. (“BUT UM”) I guess the first thing I would like to do is try to remember as guesswork — mimic myself making that all-important phone call to my brother when I was almost, like, channeling God.
V: Mmmm.
Q: There was a sensation of heightened experience. I’ve been thinking about counter-reality recently too. Like how different things can happen in different counter-realities.
V: Sure. (“BUT”)
Q: That’s something that’s too hard to get into, I think. (“KKK” “BUT” “ONE OF THE”) One of the problems when you are designated as the Christ figure for a planet is thinking that it is all a dream or it is just something (“YOU”) that you created. I’ve even wondered at times if everyone else in the world (“IS NOT”) is just part of my dream. (“YOU” “WHICH YOU COULD THI[NK]”) Under the circumstances, wouldn’t you do the same thing? (“YEAH”) I mean how could I be the one out of billions of people to be this chosen entity? You know? It makes sense, doesn’t it? (“SURE”) That maybe it would be a dream or (“THE”) like in the movie “Total Recall.”
V: Mmmm. (“BUT”)
Q: You are your own separate consciousness.
V: Um-huh. (“SO”)
Q: It might just be that I’m symbolic. (“AAL” “YOU KNOW”) So it’s interesting. The last chapter in a book — what was it? Babylon — (“NNN” “WII” “OH” “IT”) There’s a book. I can’t remember the title of it — The Gods of Babylon, I think.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I MEANT THE GODS OF EDEN BY WILLIAM BRAMLEY.)
(“MM”)
Q: The last chapter (“WAS TALKY”) talked about how God would choose another individual to play a game with.
V: Mmmm.
Q: To prove His existence. Or reaffirm His existence. Or whatever. And it said that this entity would be no more evil or no more good than any other but would help Him come to some terms with mankind.
V: Right. (“SO”)
Q: Apparently, I’m this individual. And I feel very lucky and blessed. (“SO” “AND JUST FOR YOU”) More background information: He has had me subconsciously going out shopping and buying the most important relics in history. I own the Ark of the Covenant.
V: Wow. (“HA”) That’s an achievement. (“IN”)
Q: Right. The original Declaration of Independence. (“THAT”) People thought was lost at the printers. The Holy Grail.
V: Mmmm.
Q: An original Last Supper copper engraving. It looks Italian. I bet it’s Michelangelo or Leonardo Da Vinci. (“BUT”) Michel — angel — o? (“IT’S A BIT”) I mean that’s the one I’m thinking that it might be.
V: Sure.
Q: And what else? And also (“NOW”) maybe you know this. You know about Eastern religions.
V: A little bit.
Q: I bought this fantastic door. A temple door but miniature.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Very old. They guess 900 years. I think it’s older than that. Is there a famous door in Buddhism or something (“THAT”) maybe Buddha owned? Are you familiar with that?
V: Oh sure.
Q: What is it?
V: Prince Gautama.
Q: Explain that.
V: The door?
Q: Yeah.
V: Well, I mean Prince Gautama — I’m sure you know about the origins of Buddhism.
Q: No, I don’t know. (“WELL PRINCE”)
V: Prince Gautama was a member of the royal family. This was in India and, basically, his father protected him from the poverty of the common people and he lived in great wealth and splendor. However, eventually he did come to experience the poverty of the people and went on to become a great religious leader known as the Buddha. And, (“DAY”) as I remember, he had a whole lot of artifacts which were associated with him. (“YEAH”) One of which I think was some sort of a door or something like that.
Q: So it was a miniature door?
V: I think it could have been. Yes. There’s a whole load of ([SINGING] “RELIC”) relics associated with —
Q: I see. Well, I own that. (“BUDDHA”) By the way, I did interview Keanu Reeves once.
V: Ahhh.
Q: So there are many connections which some people would think were silly. But when you begin thinking of symbolism — I had a lunch interview with Keanu Reeves who played Buddha. Same thing.
V: Quite so.
Q: (laughs)
V: (laughs)
Q: I also have a friend or an acquaintance, really, named Baba. And he appears on the “George and Alana” show. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that show. You have?
V: Ohh, I may have done. Yes.
Q: Okay, well do you remember —
V: I’m not a great TV watcher.
Q: — I think he’s Indian. And he’s a Buddhist. And when I went to dinner with him and my friend James, he was joking about his Buddha belly.
V: (laughs)
Q: And get this. He became famous because a Los Angeles Times reporter saw him hugging a tree. So I was telling him that he was the reincarnation of Buddha. Or close to the energy of Buddha.
V: Mmmm.
Q: It’s hard to tell exactly what’s going on. (“SSS”) And he told me he’d sold out. I mean this is the 20th century so, of course, Buddha has sold out (“AND HAS”) and reoccurs on the “George and Alana” show.
V: (laughs)
Q: As a chef.
V: Well, you have to change with the times, haven’t you? (laughs)
Q: Exactly. So I still haven’t sold out.
V: Right.
Q: Good for me.
V: Well done. (“I FEEL”)
Q: Yeah. (“SO” “OKAY”) So what questions do you have before we start therapy?
V: Okay. Where’d you know about these things? And how do you know, for instance, about this relationship with Mabus?
Q: I don’t know anything for sure. (“INCREASE”)
V: None of us do.
Q: Exactly, but Mark: M — A — (“MMMM”)
V: Mmmm.
Q: — Bell: B — Russell: U — S. 'Mabus.' (“AND”) That name is a pseudonym. It’s my writer’s pseudonym. (“MM” “MY NA[ME]”) My real name is Mark Gordon Russell. I would love to get into numerology with this stuff. But my friend, Marie, was crossing the street when God or Mighael or Whatever told her “MARK RUSSELL BELL.” So she called me and said, “Your name is to be Mark Russell Bell.” I mean I didn’t legally change it. I just took it as my pseudonym. I guess eventually I will have it legally changed. You know. (“YOU KNOW”) I might as well. (“SO”) Do you know of any other anagrams of Mabus? Not right now. I mean I’m just saying —
V: Now not that I think of. (laughs)
Q: People have tried over the years. (“TRY”) Because there was one chapter in one book somewhere that said “Mabus The Painter” and it was someone — (“MM”) Mabuse who they thought (“NO”) might have been. Well, they were wrong. (“A”) Because it also talks about the Son of Man. And (“HOW HIS”) on Christmas Day I was talking into my tape recorder while looking at cloud formations. And I saw a giant dove. (“I”) Well, first I saw an angel. (“IN THE”) In the clouds. And it changed into a giant dove. At that time, I wasn’t thinking about Nostradamus but there is a quatrain that says a dove in the stars or sky would be seen — (“WW”) which means (“THAT”) the time for the Son is ‘nigh.’
V: Mmmm.
Q: So I’m both. (“AND”) People haven’t connected Mabus with the Son of Man. I’m the one who’s making that connection and plus there’s that other quatrain that I told you about earlier which people have been associating with the Man in the Iron Mask. (“YEAH”) So I can see these parallels because I am the individual. (“BUT”) Can I prove it? No. I can’t. But, again, could the original Jesus prove anything that he said? No.
V: Quite so.
Q: He couldn’t. (“I MEAN”) It’s the same basic dilemma.
V: Mmmm.
Q: So, anyway, it’s interesting to think about. And my last therapist just challenged me. I couldn’t get past the challenging point for many reasons. And she’s psychic.
V: Oh, is she? Right.
Q: So you would think I would have had a little bit better luck but it wasn’t meant to be. Because now I want to find out — well, you can imagine. (“I WAS”) I would like to take it a step further and ask some of the more difficult questions. By the way, another good book for background information — (“HHH”) are you familiar with Letters From the Earth (“THE”) by Mark Twain?
V: Oh yes. Well, I haven’t actually read it, I confess, but this is well-known.
Q: There are a few books that might be good background if you can find them. That is one. (“BECAUSE THESE”) These are all books that came to me. And when they come to me something is happening to bring them to me.
V: Sure.
Q: Another one is called Love’s Awakening. It’s a channeled book. (“SO UM”) I still haven’t gotten my copy back from Faith at the Hotline. (“SO”) When she gives that back — if she gives that back I’ll give it to you.
V: Great. Thanks.
Q: I do have one copy but I sort of want to keep my one copy with my other library because I talk about it in one of the chapters.
V: Sure.
Q: So what else? (“THOSE ARE”) And also all the works of Zecharia Sitchin. Because he talks a lot about Bel-Marduk and he just published a new book about angels.
V: Mmmm. (“SO”)
Q: I haven’t had time to read everything, though. And I haven’t really read (“THE THE THE”) Messages From Michael books. So I haven’t made up my mind about those. Some times I think that they’re true and other days I think they’re completely ridiculous and made up. It’s probably about fifty/fifty. Interesting. So what else? So what other questions do you have?
V: How do you feel about these powers? How do you feel about the fact that you’ve been chosen, the fact that you experienced these entities in this way?
Q: Well, I’ve had very mixed feelings. At first, it was just such a cascade of different conflicting feelings because I was trying to figure out if He was a loving God or an angry God. And I projected evil into Him. And I think there was some evil in Him. I think He really wanted me to see His dark side. I mean it definitely was a demonic force.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Because the way He orchestrated what was — that I went to this place in Alhambra. In fact, you might have seen that file in what I gave you at the very end.
V: Mmmm.
Q: It was like at one moment people would be saying, “Oh, you’ll be out of here tomorrow.” And then the next moment I was being put on a 15-day hold. And this was in a place where I could not even go outside.
V: Hm.
Q: No fresh air.
V: Mm.
Q: Nothing to read.
V: Terrible.
Q: Nothing (“TO EAT”) interesting on TV. The running water went out. Three to a room. (“IT WAS HH”) It was — and then people were coming up to me and telling me they wanted to eat me. And people were talking about experiences on other planets. Well, it was God possessing other people to see how I would respond. Like if I would react with love. (“IF”) If I would stop loving Him. I don’t know.
V: Mmmm.
Q: He even once pretended that He was (“GOOD KISS”) considering suicide, which is impossible. (“SO”) He wanted to see what my reaction was. (“AND I THINK”) All in all, I think He was very pleased. Needless to say. Or I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing.
V: Sure. (“I” “SO”)
Q: I don’t know. (“IT’S” “I”) It’s cool. It’s neat. I mean all these 20th century words. (“I KNOW”) It’s hard to express because (“I STILL”) I mean you read these various books and you don’t know — He’s both an angry (“GUY”) God and a loving God. (“I MEAN”) Why else (“DOES”) does the insect the fly exist, which is His most beloved creature if you’ve read Letters From the Earth.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THE LITERAL ANSWER WOULD BE THAT THEY ARE WONDERFUL SCAVENGERS OF REFUSE.)
(“I MEAN HE”)
Q: He still has big problems with — He still hasn’t forgiven Adam and Eve. And since we’re all descended from Adam and Eve we have to pay the price. So the one thing I tell every(“BO”)body is before you go to bed at night—and you should do this too—just say “Adam and Eve suck. I surrender (“NEVER”) my life and will to God.” And trust me, your life will go better.
V: Mmmm.
Q: Interesting.
V: Exactly.
Q: (laughs)
V: Yeah. (“UHH” “OH”) And have you found that yourself? Have you found that your life has gone better as a result of making that declaration? (“WELL”)
Q: Well, I had made that declaration—without putting it into words—in Alhambra. (“SO”) Even though it helps me to find the right words to say. But now I’m not saying “I surrender my life” because I think it’s not the right word for me. (“YEAH”) I bestow my life and my love and my will.
V: Mmmm.
Q: By the way, the good thing about this new tape recorder is that it beeps at the end of the side so we don’t have to worry about it ending at weird moments. I can just (“FLIP” “YOU KNOW”) turn it over even though — I guess under hypnosis you can still do things like that.
V: Sure. Whatever you like. If you want me to turn it over —
Q: I don’t mind doing it. (“BUT BUT”) We’ll see how —
V: Yeah, that’s fine. (“WE’LL JUST FAKE IT”)
Q: — it goes.
V: Just, yeah, play it by ear.
Q: So what other questions do you have? (“NO”) Well, first of all, do you think I’m nuts?
V: No, I don’t. On the contrary. I’m aware that everybody has a certain series of symbols that’s very important to them. And these symbols are a way in which they understand reality. These symbols can be used to bring about changes which can enable that person to (“BRING” “A”) live the life they want to live. And your awareness of these symbols is actually a very powerful, very positive attribute. Awareness of Mighael. Awareness of spirituality. Awareness of these entities. These manifestations which can be used to bring about whatever beneficial changes you want in your life.
(“BUT”)
Q: They’re not changes I want in my life. They’re changes that He wants in my life. (“I”)
