JOURNAL — TAPE #28, SIDE #1
Q: Mark Russell Bell
Q: (speaking into tape recorder) Knowing God's love, I have everything I want. ("TTT") I don't care anything about my screenplays anymore. I don't even know how to write anymore. ("CAUSE I TYPE") I can't express — ("I HAVE") I have no other goals. Every need has already been answered. I just want to express love and be there to help in any way I can. I can't express the love. There's no way to express the love ("FIND") that I receive and am able to give after receiving it. ("IT ISN'T") It is all a movie. It is all a play. Because the reality is already accomplished. ("IT'S JUST") A pantomime for others. It can't be shared or in any way experienced unless you believe like I do and you see the truth. It's so obvious. I've always thought that less is more. In all great drama, less is more. And that's one of the secrets. In what you're reading. This book. Of course, it's familiar. Reality is ever-changing and the current reality is God manifesting Himself.
( . . . )
Q: It's 8:23 a.m. so I didn't get up early today. Last night I was transcribing the interview with Twyla when she told me about the obscene phone caller. What I didn't really have time to explain to her over the phone was that God/Michael has a real sense of humor and He works through people's subconscious for his own amusement. Immediately, I felt that there was a manifestation of God's sense of humor through this individual who called her as part of his life collaboration with God. This sense of humor has manifested to me in many ways. That Depeche Mode song is sort of right — "Blasphemous Rumours." ("LET WHAT DO I") God is a sexual being. ("UH-HUH") So all kinds of kinky sex are a manifestation of His love. So enjoy it, you know? ("UH-HUH" "UM") Don't feel guilty about it. ("UH-HUH") That has something to do with Adam and Eve and that metaphor. This guilt thing is really something to consider. I remember when I was first confronted with my awareness of this Entity who could possess people at will and speak through the subconscious mind, I felt impotent and I couldn't have an erection. I felt very unsexual. I just did. ("I DON'T") I can't explain it. I'm not a psychiatrist. Wouldn't that be a good session to talk to my shrink about? When I was at the Whole Life Expo, I heard someone else mention, "Oh, those gods — they've taken away my sex drive." ("HE WOULD") He does little things like that just to sort of rub it in. ("HUOUH") He gets His kicks out of it. When Twyla was telling me about buying condoms, He started laughing practically the loudest I've ever heard. ("UH-HUH") You know — He's real ("PERVERT") — anyway. So He enjoys cybersex. And I didn't feel unsexual very long. I'm totally over that. If anything, I feel much more sexual now even though I can't quite find any way to express it. ("UH-HUH") So that's something for you to think about and me to wonder about where this is all leading me because — wouldn't it be interesting if He could find some physical way of manifesting Himself? I know He would want to have sex with me. ("UM-HUH") Maybe He beams me up and has sex with me and I don't even know it. Also, I heard from Timothy Fielding, my photographer, yesterday. ("HE") He finally agreed to photography my document ("FFF") for the auction. ("NO") Of course, I didn't tell him it was the original Declaration of Independence because if I told him that I don't think he would have called me. I sent him a nice Christmas card and I ("SSS") apologized for having drawn a few wrong conclusions. I didn't tell him that the only one that I was certain was very wrong was the fact that I only had three weeks to finish the book. That doesn't mean to say that I really do believe I'm the reincarnation of Jesus, but it's so complicated because of the symbolic factors that in a way I am Jesus because if Jesus was a myth well then I'm more Jesus than Jesus was. What's in a name and all that. ("UH-HUH") I might have him photograph the painting if I get that in time. My appointment is on Friday for the photo session. I think I'll go ahead and have him photograph those objects that I saw materialize in the house in Oklahoma because usually in these types of books there's always a photograph ("MICHAEL") of the phenomena that materialized ("IN") within the house. So. ("IT'S") That's three photos. I don't know if I should have a photo of me in the book or not. ("UH-HUH") I've never been one ("PSSST") to want people I don't know come up to me and ask for an autograph; or to have death threats made against me or anything like that. I mean you know? People, get over it. I probably won't have a photo of me. Or, if I do, I'll — I don't know. I'll think about it. If the book creates any kind of response whatsoever I'll be in the tabloids so maybe I should have a photo. Michael, what do you think? Why don't you say yes or no — squeeze it in really good between some of these words. So, anyway, Michael and I are in a better place in our relationship than we were when He made the right earphone stop working. That upset me and I tried to explain to Him my sarcasm. I guess ("YOU KNOW HE") He knew I was being sarcastic but it's not so much that as it was the way I expressed it. I mean people don't like putting up with other people's bullshit. ("UH-HUH") Even if it is just sarcasm. Even if they don't mean it. I mean think about any husband and wife that argue. ("THEY") They scream and yell yet they don't mean it. And they both know they don't mean it but it's still ugly. ("YEAH") So I don't want to manifest this ugliness and I'm trying my hardest to not do that. We have a good relationship. ("UH-HUH") No one will believe I have this good relationship but I have this good relationship. I'm in a very sarcastic mood which is like that one sarcastic voice of His. So He probably likes when I'm in this kind of a mood — sarcastic appreciative instead of sarcastic impatient. God, that is. You know, Laurie Anderson and I have a lot in common and I don't know why we do. ("I MEAN MEMBER") I've been to some of her concerts and twice I was sitting up front so she could easily ("SSS") view me. I don't know why. It just worked out that way. ([WHISPER] "I PUT") In a lot of my transcripts I start sentences without finishing them and then I say the same sentence again, completing the thought — which she does a lot of in her performances.
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: THIS ISN'T APPARENT IN THE EDITED TRANSCRIPT.)
Q: I've always had this affinity with her. That's why I talked about her a few times in this book even though I don't know her. Once, I just happened to be at B. Dalton Pickwick in Hollywood when she was doing an autograph session. I mean it just sort of worked out ("THAT") I was there. That was when I was a talent agent and had to drop off the submissions everyday ("YOU KNOW") to the messenger service. And ("SSS") she gave me the weirdest look like we'd known each other in a previous lifetime or something. It was funny because I didn't want anything autographed. I didn't have anything with me and the bookstore didn't have any of her books stocked, which I thought was weird. Plus, when Laurie talks about wanting "to go home"? Well, I've heard a lot of talk—especially when I was in Alhambra—about "home." That seems to be somewhere in the Orion galaxy. As in where Michael, my brother, once worked. After leaving Paramount, he went to work for Orion even though it later went bankrupt. And they still owe me $400 which they never paid me because I did an article for them. ("UH-HUH") For — what was the movie? Oh God — ("I WON'T EVEN") I won't be able to remember the movie but it was that war veterans movie and I interviewed a war veteran for Chris. And I never got paid. I mean my brother was paid this huge settlement ("HMMM") for the year he didn't work and I didn't even get my $400. Oh — "Article 99" is the title. ("SO") You cheating cheap bastards. How dare you? That movie has been released. I should have been paid. In the original notice you sent me it said people who have done work in the ninety days prior to the bankruptcy ("OOUOOMBOO") that amounts to less than $500 would be paid first. It said that. And you just dismissed it and I never was paid at all. Is that bad karma. Are you in deep shit. I don't know how or why but, boy, are you. Okay, that's all I wanted to say.
( . . . )
Q: Well, I'm going to work on the Hotline and my heart is broken. I just passed a homeless woman. She looked like she must be seventy. She was all bundled up. ("THOSE ARE HAPPY") The sweetest lady you'd ever want to meet. ("NO" "BUT SHE'S JUST LOOKING FOR") And, of course, she wouldn't even ask for money. ("I PICKED IT UP" "NO" "LOVE YOU") It's just so sad. ("DER FOR ME" "YOU WANT TO PAY FOR THEM DON'T YOU") It ruins my day. ("WHY" "GET HIM")
( . . . )
Q: I make one mistake on the Hotline today. ("HEH AAH") A woman called about donating videos to a hospice and I made the mistake of saying "God bless you" at the very end of the call. Unfortunately, Faith was listening and I knew I had made a mistake the minute I said it. ("I MEAN") You probably wouldn't think there is anything wrong with saying something like that. ("BUT") Especially at this time of year. However, apparently it has something to do with funding. ("WU") You can't say anything at all having to do with religion for funding reasons. ("UH-HUH") Sorry, Faith. I'll try to not let that happen again.
( . . . )
Q: On the way home from the Hotline — well, my horoscope said that I should go shopping today — so I dropped by these little antique stores on Sunset near where I live, thinking that I had to buy something. You never know what I could pass up, otherwise. I went into this one store called Peron and had a lovely talk with the lady there named Lorna Neal. Her husband's name is Marque and she works at Disney ("ALL") as well as running the store. So we had a nice little talk. ("I WANT") I knew I wanted to buy something but I didn't know what. There was a painting of George Washington in the store. It looks like a reproduction or facsimile. ("BUT") I went ahead and bought it just because ("THE") what if it was an original? I wouldn't want to pass up something like that so it was worth $30 just in case. ("UM") It looks like that picture of Washington you see in all those classrooms. ("BUT IT WAS REALLY") It's in a really old frame. ("UM") It's interesting. She pointed out the brush strokes, which sort of did convince me to buy it. But the brush strokes aren't everywhere on the photo. They're not on Washington's face or on the unfinished portion at the bottom. Isn't Gilbert Stuart the one who did all these? ("WAIT") This is the unfinished portrait of Washington. I don't remember if that was a Gilbert Stuart or not. It's not really my area of expertise. ("BUT UM") There's no signature or anything. It's just that famous unfinished picture of George Washington. Probably a facsimile. So there. It isn't a chemical imbalance because I don't think this is the original. I have The Columbia Viking Desk Encyclopedia so let me look up Gilbert Stuart. ("WELL IT DID") It does say here that he returned ("TSS") to America in 1792 "with plans of achieving solvency by painting the portrait of Washington and making replicas of it." So probably the best (' "III") — if he did paint this, which I don't even know if he did or not — because it's unfinished. Anyway, if it is by him, it does say that he made replicas of it. ("TWO" "SO") And then it ("HE") says, "Painted three portraits of Washington from life and many copies of them. The Athenaeum Head is reproduced on the U.S. $1 bill." Well, this looks like that. I don't think it's an original but it's still a lovely piece. ("YEAH") It's interesting that you can actually see the brush strokes. ("EVEN THOUGH THEN") It might be reproduced broke strokes. I don't know. It's ("DEFINITELY") definitely an unusual piece. ("YEAH" "THERE'S") It's not signed. Well, ("UM-HUH") even if it isn't an original, it's still a nice piece for my office. I like George Washington's expression in the painting.
( . . . )
Q: By the way, I asked Lorna, "Where do these pieces come from?" — that people like her and the other lady on Hyperion have for sale? She said in her case with this Washington picture, her father had a storage facility for many years. So a lot of the old antiques she has were stored there for many years. ("NO")
( . . . )
Q: I just tried calling Karie Diethorn at Independence National Historical Park but they said the park was closed until further notice because of the funding crisis — there not being a budget and all that. That's a pretty sad commentary on America in 1995. ("UH-HUH") I want to ask Karie if she wants slides of my document ("WHAT YOU KNOW" "HELP ME") what she would like to see. Thirty-five millimeter or 2", 120 film, whatever. I'm still receiving Variety. It's been two months since my subscription ended. Today, I didn't do a lot of transcribing work because, again, my transcription sound set right earpiece isn't working. So I can't use it to hear and the only way you can really here many sounds on the microcassettes is using the Transcription Sound Set. Some sounds actually you can hear better on this Pearlcorder that I'm speaking into. ("BUT") Sometimes they sound different, depending on what machine you use to play them back. The Dictaphone Voice Processor and the Transcription Sound Set are the easiest way for me to transcribe. So when those aren't working I might as well not work. I used that opportunity to do a little bit of organizing. One of the things that upset me, right before my earphone went out on the right side, was that it sounded like one of the words the Spirit might have been saying was 'pigpen.' I hope that's not what it was saying. I don't think it was because if Michael's going to start criticizing me He'll never stop. So I think it's something else but I don't know. Maybe it's my own ("SSS") subconscious saying, "You need to get organized." ("UH-HUH") So tomorrow I'm going to take a chance for my therapy session and let my therapist hear tape #19, side #2, where He says, "YOU KNOW," after my contact lens fell out. He says it so distinctly. I know she's going to probably think that it's my voice because it sounds a little bit like my voice but I can tell the difference. ("I THINK") I think you can tell the difference. ("BUT") If you don't want to be able to tell the difference then you can't tell the difference. You know what I mean? There's plenty of other voices. ("AAA") If she wants to see the whole transcript of that tape side I'll let her but it will just freak her out. I'm in a good mood. It's just taking a lot longer than I ever would have thought it would and I keep reminding myself I'm not in the driver's seat. It will take as long as it will take. I'll just do what I can and, hopefully, the right ("TTT") events will fall into place. ("UMM") I should take some time out and go over my list of movies and try to remember all the celebrities I've interviewed over the years because I think that's ("DO IT") an important element — my interaction with directors and stars and what- have-you. Umm. So I'll sit down and do that. Just off the top of my head, I remember once having a lunch interview with Keanu Reeves in the commissary. Not the dining room but the Paramount commissary. I thought it was interesting he preferred to eat there. I felt very compassionate about this young guy ("WHO'S") who obviously was alienated from his parents. I don't know what the whole story is. ("BUT") He was living with one of the other actors of "Permanent Record" at the time — who I also interviewed and who was also very nice. It seems like some actors who've had difficult lives just wear there emotions on their face. I mean they're right near the surface so that's why they're good actors and that's why they usually get cast in all kinds of movies. ("UM") I thought they both were good actors even though Keanu has become a major star. He's worked with my brother on some movies at Orion like "Bill and Ted's ("SSS") Bogus Journey," the sequel to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." ("UM") This will be good for the tabloids — I once went and had a conversation with Harvey Keitel at the Beverly Hills Hotel in ("IN WHA") his bungalow there and he was only wearing a robe. I think he was naked except for his robe and he had a cold. I think he was shooting "Sister Act" at the time. The tabloids will have fun with ("TH") this one I guess. Even though nothing happened. He just was going over an interview I taped over the phone with him. ("UM") I'll go over my notes and do a better list. I remember I spoke to Harrison Ford briefly — maybe a couple of times but I remember during "Regarding Henry" I talked with him briefly. Big thrill, right? ("UH-HUH" "UH" "HE'S AN") He's a very nice man. Everyone at Paramount just adores him. Even though I don't think I was ever formally introduced to him. I interviewed Frank Marshall over at Amblin. ("AND THAT") I kind of met Steven Spielberg. I didn't talk to him or anything because I didn't want to impose and I wasn't sure if I should have said something or not at the time. I didn't know what to say. So many people go up to him — ("AND") I don't know if he wanted me to say hello or not but I was there and he saw me and I was there to see Frank Marshall so I didn't really go out of my way to speak to him. I would do that today if I had the chance to do it over again but I just didn't know. I was a little intimidated. Joel Schumacher comes to mind because his partner was involved with David Permut. David was developing another version of the Julia Pastrana story after I — at least as far as I'm convinced — originated the project. I even talked to David Permut over the phone once for the press notes for "The Temp." ("UM") I think he was on his car phone at the time. ("AND HE HAD") He was telling me about all these different movies that he had in production at the time. ("WHILE PROBABLY GETTING RAPED") He was probably screwing me at the same time with my script and neither of us even knew it. I mean that's how Hollywood is. So I also interviewed Joel Schumacher for the production information for "Cousins." We had a nice conversation. In fact, I still have that interview on tape. He probably came off so intelligently in that interview I probably could get that published somewhere because it was easily the most intelligent interview I've ever read of his. And they're usually pretty intelligent interviews that he gives. ("UM") There's a long list of people I've interviewed over the years. I think I'll go over to the jar where I keep a lot of these old microcassettes and read off some of the people that I have here. Well, Tom Hays way back when Deborah Rosen hired me ("TO DO") to do an article about the Paramount lot for the corporate newsletter. ("UM") Some of these tapes aren't marked. I wonder if some of my comments when I was feeling overwhelmed might have been put in here accidentally. ("UH-HUH") Oh — ("DI") Richard Donner. That was during "Scrooged." ("UM" "SEE") Townsend. Maybe that was — oh yeah. I think that was Robert Townsend, the director of ("OF 'RAW'") "Raw." I have some journal observations that I recorded. ("MY AGENCY") When I was a talent agent I would talk into my tape recorder sometimes sort of creatively like I'm doing now. And let's see. Gosh, ("SOME") a lot of these aren't marked. I bet there's all kinds of good stuff in here and I don't even know it. ("SEE I") Sometimes I just do the interviews and I don't really mark them because I just ("I — YOU WORK") go to work right away. And I don't even know what I have. Oh, I see Ridley Scott down there at the bottom of the pile. Some of these names I don't ("EVEN RE") remember. I guess ("THEY'RE LIKE") technical people that aren't as famous as the stars and directors. Let's see. Oh my goodness, I have ("HOOKER" "GRANT") "The Godfather, Part III" round table interviews. That's interesting. ("I DIDN'T") I forgot that I had those. Maybe this is somebody else's that they gave to me to extract additional quotes for a special article or something.