HYPNOTHERAPY SESSION — TAPE #22, SIDE #2
Q: Mark Russell Bell
V: David Botsford (clinical hypnotherapist)
Q: I’m not going to Hades, am I? . . . Just go up. I’d rather begin with going up . . . Like Jacob’s ladder. I’m envisioning Jacob’s ladder . . . You can see the white light . . . It’s just very hot. I feel very hot . . . Are you leading me to some new awareness about myself? . . . I see some kind of spaceship. Well, I’m inventing it in my own mind. I mean it’s just the choice that I’m making. Envisioning myself in a large spaceship, looking down at the Earth. What is the dark matter? (“AND YOU LIVE IN”) Neutrino.
V: Neutrino? Are you experiencing that dark matter now?
Q: From within a neutrino . . . I can feel love.
V: Feel that love guiding you. Guiding. Guiding you toward somewhere very important. Pulling you toward something. Somewhere. Someplace. (“COME” “REMEMBER THE DREAM”)
Q: I can see Michael. (“YOU KNOW”) Now. Where I am now.
V: Can you tell me about Him?
Q: I can’t. (“BECAUSE IT”) It’s hard for me to think of anything other than the warmth.
V: About the warmth. (“WHAT I”)
Q: I want to find out about my incarnations but I just don’t feel any more awareness about them. (“THINK”)
V: You’re aware of the warmth.
Q: Right. (“THINK”)
V: You’re aware of this warmth all around. (“WANT YOU TO”) Let that warmth take you back to where you were five years ago. November 13, 1990. (“IT”)
Q: It was — probably I was at Paramount.
V: What is at Paramount? (“WHO SAW WHAT I AM”)
Q: My little office. Working on the computer, probably. With this weird camera-like thing looking into my office. I think it must have been some kind of climate control device but it looked just like a camera.
V: Looking at that camera, describe what you may be hearing — the sound of voices.
Q: “She’s a wicked witch and I hate her!”
V: Were you aware of that wicked witch?
Q: Well, it was someone who said that. I can hear her saying that.
V: Can hear her say that? “She’s a wicked witch and I hate her.” Feel the way that you can hear that sound now. Feel the way you experience that. Be aware of yourself. Feel the time go. You can find yourself going back to 11/30/1980.
Q: I was working in the porno magazine industry.
[2020 UPDATE: ACTUALLY I WAS WORKING AT THE RUTH WEBB ENT. TALENT AGENCY LOCATED IN HOME OFFICES OF RUTH'S HOUSE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS DURING NOVEMBER 1980. THE PREVIOUS YEAR I'D WORKED AS A MAGAZINE EDITOR IN THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY ADULT PORNOGRAPHY INDUSTRY, WHICH WAS ONE OF THE LARGEST EMPLOYMENT SECTORS IN THE VALLEY FOR SEVERAL DECADES. AS I WAS NOT IN A TRANCE DURING THE HYPNOTHERAPY SESSION, I EXPRESSED MY THOUGHTS SPONTANEOUSLY SO THERE COULD BE MISTAKES MADE SUCH AS THIS.]
V: Tell me about your experience. Remember a Thursday of 1980.
Q: Well, I remember that they gave us this coupon for a free turkey. (“BUT”) There was one day they had to close down because they were looking for — (“I GUESS THE”) the government agents were looking for kiddy porn. (“I MEAN”) It was a very good company as far as porno goes but they were looking for — I don’t know. Everyone was very happy and normal. Except for Inga who was an alcoholic.
V: You’re aware of Inga now?
Q: She was nice, though. She had a good sense of humor.
V: Be aware of just the way you felt.
Q: It was very sad. Probably from her daughter. (“CRY”) She was like my mom (“WHO”) who would do anything to numb the pain.
V: You can experience that very vividly. (“A B”) Go back further. Feel yourself going back now many years before. Remember a Thursday of 1970, seeing and hearing —
Q: I’m at Pasadena High School.
V: See and hear and feel that high school now.
Q: What year is it? 1970?
V: Yeah. Seeing those kids. Seeing those faces. Hearing their voices. All those teachers. You can go back. Ten years before.
Q: Well, I see (“I’M IN A”) a little apartment with my parents. My father struck my mother and she’s on the floor pretending to be dead.
V: Can you go back before? Further back to 1950?
Q: Well, I was born in 1956.
V: Remember your life before 1956 — back before you were born — November, 1950. What are you aware of now? (“I DON’T THINK I WAS”)
Q: I just feel incarnate at this time because I just don’t see anything.
V: I want you to go back —
Q: You clearly centered it on the years and I could remember certain events. I’m trying to remember. I just don’t see anything. No clear picture.
V: November 30th, 1900.
V: November 30th, 1850.
Q: Well, I wrote a screenplay about Julia Pastrana. I sometimes (“WILD WOMAN”) wonder if I am the reincarnation of Julia Pastrana.
V: Going back to that time. Julia Pastrana. Going back. How do you know so much about Julia Pastrana? Isn’t it strange the way you read about somebody in a historical book and see in your mind their image coming back to life. You already know what Julia Pastrana looked like.
V: Can you see her now as you think of her?
Q: Yes. She was loved for herself. (“WAS SHE”)
V: Loved for herself?
Q: Her husband.
V: Do you see her husband now?
Q: He looks just like Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise with a moustache. (“AND A BEARD”)
V: That was very common. (“I WROTE ONE SET” “HIS”)
Q: You know, one time I was asked (“TO”) to write his answers (“SO”) when he guested on “The Arsenio Hall Show.” (“AND HE”) And he said them verbatim one by one and I was very surprised. (“HE ASKED FOR THEM”) And I once met him. I mean I sort of met his gaze on the Paramount lot. (“AND”)
V: I wonder if you can step inside the body of Julia Pastrana.
V: Feel the way she feels. Did she sing?
Q: I feel as if I lived her life by researching her.
V: Do you find that you can experience her life through the unconscious part of your mind?
Q: Oh yes. Definitely.
V: Perhaps you can describe that feeling now?
Q: What aspect? (“WELL JUST”) Her life is very similar to mine. (“PRETTY MUCH”) Staying in little rooms and working and (“YOU KNOW”) a lot of waiting. A lot of reading. A lot of yearning. (“FREE” “BUT AT LEAST SHE”) She did have sex, at least. With her loved one.
V: She had sex with her loved one? Her husband?
Q: Yeah. But she died giving birth. (“NO”)
V: I wonder if you can tell me how old she is now.
Q: How old she is now? Well, she died quite young.
V: Can you see Julia now?
V: Tell me how old she is? (“TWENTY”)
Q: Twenty-three? Twenty-three, I think. When she died. Around there.
V: Can you step inside her body now? (“WELL IT”)
Q: It still exists. (“BECAUSE”) It was mummified.
V: Can you see the way she is now? Can you see her moving? Hear her voice? Can you step inside her?
Q: Yeah. She once said, “Jesus shall change my vile body to be like his glorious body.”
V: I wonder how she experiences that.
Q: Through love.
V: Can you feel that love now — feel love the way she would feel it?
V: Can you go back to when she was twenty? (“WAIT”) What are you experiencing now?
Q: She’s giving a performance. (“BECAUSE SHE”) She would sing and dance for people. (“TRY NOT”) She would avoid looking at people because they would look so horrified.
V: And how do you feel?
Q: I just feel like I’m on stage too.
V: On a stage?
Q: I just feel very self-conscious. The way she must have felt.
V: Can you step inside her body now?
Q: Oh yeah. That’s easy.
V: During a performance. Dance. Sing.
Q: Sad songs.
V: Can you sing that song now? (“CAN’T” “SONG BELLS”)
Q: “The Last Rose of Summer.” I don’t remember the words. (“I MEAN I DON’T KNOW IF I WAS”) I don’t know if I was Julia in a previous incarnation or if I just did my research very well. I also identify with her husband.
V: I wonder if you’d like to have a look at her husband now.
Q: I don’t identify with him as much as I identify with her.
V: Okay. (“I HOPE” “YOU KNOW” “RIGHT AWAY” “GIVE ME” “HER BABY LIVED” “THAT THE TRUTH” “MANY WORK”)
Q: Vincent Van Gogh’s brother was named Theo. (“VINCENT”) Van Gogh and his brother.
V: As you look at the husband of Julia — the clothes he’s wearing.
Q: Right. Oh, that’s easy.
V: Can you describe his clothes?
Q: Well, it’s the Victorian period. (“BUT”) Very dark. (“UM” “BUT I”) I’m not very good at describing apparel. I can see him. (“IN A” “VAN” “LIKE”) I can see oil in his hair.
V: I wonder if you can step inside his body. (“OKAY”) Feel the oil in your hair.
Q: There is some in mine today, by the way. (“AMERICA”)
V: Feel the apparel — dark clothes. (“UM-HUH”) Feel the way you stand — the way you hold your body. The way you walk. (“IT”)
Q: It’s not me. I don’t think so. It’s more like Tom Cruise or my brother. (“SIMILAR” “I”) I — I — (“HE’LL” “TRY ON A FRAGRANCE” “THEY WERE” “I’D RATH”) I would rather be the reincarnation of Julia than I would of Theodore Lent.
V: What can you tell me about what Theodore’s thinking?
Q: How to make some money. (“SHE”) He wants money and she wants him to love her for herself.
V: How does she experience that? (“ONLY”)
Q: Fantasizing, I guess. They did, though, eventually get married.
V: Okay. Go back several more years . . . Tell me what you can see. (“E” “I’M SURE SHE LOOKED” “SHE LOOKED” “BEAUTIFUL”)
Q: Surrounded by nuns in the palacio of the governor of Sinaloa. (“WELL HER”) Pretty much — (“YOU KNOW”) she would sing and dance at certain times — be on display for friends of the governor. (“BUT” “IT WAS” “KIND OF LIKE” “DREARY LIFE FOR THE MAD”) She had a religious upbringing. She would light candles. (“COULD HE” “WELL SHE WAS CATHOLIC”) She was a Catholic. (“SO” “I’M GAY”) She was also a bigfoot, by the way.
V: Can you feel that foot now? (“LAUGHING”) She has a big foot.
Q: No. She was (“RIGHT HE KNOWS”) part Sasquatch. (“TO ME” “CAP” “IT WAS A LITHUANIAN”)
V: What was it like being a bigfoot? ([D TAPE] “LOOK IN MY”)
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THIS MESSAGE SOUNDED LIKE “THURSDAY NIGHT” ON THE MICROCASSETTE.)
Q: Well, other people think she was a ‘hybrid.’ (“AND HALF”) Half-ape and half-human. But I think she is half bigfoot — a dwarf variety.
V: Okay. (“WHAT”) How would that make her experience different?
Q: Well, she just was different — she was like the Elephant Man or somebody. She was a freak. (“SO THEY COULD SEE HER” “AS A FREAK”)
V: How do you feel about her?
Q: I just feel she was her own person just like we’re each our own person. She was trapped in her body (“JUST”) by happenchance. (“WE ARRANGED IT” “IT DOESN’T”) There’s no logic to it. Or maybe there is. (“I MEAN IT’S A”) We each have fallen into being. You can be covered by any type of skin. (“OR” “ANY”) You could be ([D TAPE] “THE BASIC”) any religion. (“BUT IT’S STILL”) The essence is still an individual essence that has its own personality. (“TELL ME ABOUT”)
V: Are you aware of your individual essence now? (“WOULD I” “SPIRIT”)
Q: Um-huh. (“OF THE SON”)
V: Personality? Are you aware of it now?
Q: Yeah. (“IT’S GOOD”) It’s definitely a Jesus-type essence. (“UM-HUH”)
V: Jesus-type essence? Can you tell me — can you see that essence? What does it look like?
Q: It’s white. It looks like a glowing ball.
V: Okay. Can you hear any sounds coming from that essence? ([D TAPE] “ANY” [D TAPE] “WELL”)
Q: No. (“THIS”) I seem to remember — I saw this Absolut vodka ad that (“HAS LIKE A”) — I mean that’s how I see it.
V: Okay. Can you feel anything?
Q: No. Just a warmth. ([D TAPE] “YOU KNOW”)
V: The warmth?
Q: The love.
V: Feel the warmth of the love? ( “WE”) See that glowing ball. (“DON’T ANSWER”)