TELEPHONE INTERVIEW — TAPE #20, SIDE #2
Q: Mark Russell Bell Z: Carol Andersen (family history specialist)X: Mohammed (IBM helpware representative)
Q: It’s Friday. I woke up again early today so I guess that means Michael wants me to record some more of my thoughts. As we were leaving Doris’s apartment, James thought it would be cute to kiss a near-nonagenarian so they had a French kiss as we left. It will be interesting to see what Michael says on the tape, if anything. He did something innocuous while we were eating. There was a little vein in my turkey that I took out and put on a napkin. Somehow it ended up in Andy’s glass. So that had to be Michael being silly. Twyla called me last night and she told me that “Put It To The Test” has been retitled. I can’t remember what she told me it was now. But when she spoke to me — (“YOU KNOW”) sometimes when I speak to her, Michael ‘talks.’ He makes meowing noises and does rather innocuous things. Last night, He said “PEW” once which is a word my brother and James use as an affectionate expression along with the pet name “Arf.” I just wonder what is signified by the other Michael using that word. Twyla was saying that, based on her experiences, she still thinks He’s an alien. (“UH-HUH”) And who knows? He might be. (“OHEHHUH”) I mean He seems to want me to believe that He’s an angel from all this angel stuff that I keep encountering and He seems to give me bigger dilemmas in life to deal with then they do. (“AND LITTLE”) He gives me some little dilemmas too — I think He sent a few cockroaches my way last night. Thank you very much, Michael. As if I didn’t have enough on my mind. You know that I don’t have a really big tolerance for cockroaches. I was transcribing last night and I think He kept touching me to make me think that (“UH-HUH”) there was another one or something. You know? He’s got this real sense of humor and it’s not like a little boy’s sense of humor. For example, Twyla mentioned that she was shopping over at Wal-Mart and for some reason she bought some condoms and Michael started laughing real loud so even the clerk could hear it. (“WELL YOU KNOW”)
Q: What’s that about? (“YOU KNOW I’LL BE”) She said that when He speaks around her it’s sort of in an E.T.-like voice, squeally and high-pitched. That’s not at all the major voice I hear on the cassettes. So it just makes me wonder.
( . . . )
Q: Well, by the way, Chris La Monte gave me some books to read. The titles are Emmanuel’s Book compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton; and Messages From Michael and Michael For The Millennium by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. On the cover it’s described as: “The Groundbreaking Book That Unveiled the Secrets of Eternity. The First Communications With the Spiritual Essence Known as Michael.” Well, first of all, you don’t even know if what He’s saying is true. I mean some of it sounds pretty hard to believe. I’ve only read the first chapter so far but it mentions: (“A LOT”)
“EACH SOUL IS A PART OF A LARGER BODY, AN ENTITY.” And “EACH ENTITY IS MADE UP OF ABOUT ONE THOUSAND SOULS, EACH OF WHICH ENTERS THE PHYSICAL PLANE AS MANY TIMES AS NECESSARY TO EXPERIENCE ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE AND ACHIEVE HUMAN UNDERSTANDING. AT THE END OF THE CYCLES ON THE PHYSICAL PLANE, THE FRAGMENTS ONCE AGAIN REUNITE AS WE HAVE REUNITED.”
Well, I’m not going to really go into this book very much because you can just buy it. Does that sound very appealing to you? It doesn’t sound very appealing to me. I wrote a screenplay adaptation of this Robert Silverberg novel called To Live Again that dealt with something similar to that. It wasn’t really a very pretty picture if you know what I mean. I’m still clueless. You know? I think He chose me for my sense of humor. I don’t know if I’ve had any previous incarnations or anything. I mean I’m sure a lot of people would really like it if I really had been the original Jesus even though most of that’s a fairy tale. But I don’t even know what I want. (“REPEAT”) I just know it’s very difficult finding myself cast in this new role so it will be interesting to see what happens. By the way, something happened Wednesday night which I purposely avoided talking about until one of my interviews because it’s just too good to waste. If you know what I mean.
( . . . )
Q: Oh great. My daily horoscope says, “Is it love or lust? You’ll be haunted by that question. Answer is combination of both. Involves another Leo. Aquarius talks about legal agreements.” Well, ‘Michael’ is another Leo — the Entity and my brother. That explains everything. I might sound sarcastic sometimes but just to reassure you and ‘Michael’ — I truly love Him with all my heart and soul. And maybe He really would have to be God. I mean to listen to my mother for three or four minutes — I mean that’s even more than I think an angel would be called upon to do. Or even would do. I just remembered Twyla mentioned that Barry Taff had given another interview for the local paper and apparently he’s still doing his song and dance routine about the effects coming from Twyla’s subconscious mind. Well, he needs to get a new joke because he really should know better. I mean, shouldn’t he? I mean check out that movie “The Entity.” You know? It’s the Entity who controls us through His subconscious mind. Okay, Barry? I think we all have the same shared subconscious mind. By the way, when my brother came by to pick me up yesterday, I traded him a “Clear and Present Danger” cap, a “Home Alone 2” cap and a “Naked Gun 2-1/2” cap for a “Seven” cap. For some reason, I thought it would just be a great thing for me to have. He said it had been made as a sample and had never been produced in any large quantity. So I have a cap with the famous “Seven” title design on it. I think I’ll wear it around town and see what people think. I also have a cap with the symbols for alpha and omega on it but, just to let you know, I don’t think Jesus, me or anyone has anything to say in that function. It’s all really in God’s lap. (“YOU KNOW”) This cap is just sort of a fun thing I might wear once or twice or maybe trade with someone. Okay?
( . . . )
Q: ‘Michael’ and I just had sex. Just kidding.
( . . . )
Q: I also have on my car one of those “Are you closer to this than you are to Jesus?” bumper stickers.
( . . . )
Q: Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
( . . . )
Q: Everyone keeps telling me to move to Santa Monica. In fact, yesterday Andy told me about a place a couple blocks away from him and we stopped by there. It was a real pit, if you know what I mean. And I think ‘Michael’ wants me to move there. So I’ll make a deal with you, Michael, you have one of my scripts sold and I’ll move to a nice place in Santa Monica. Right?
( . . . )
Q: Who cares about being politically correct all the time? Michael, I mean it’s easy for you to be politically correct. You won’t have — oh, never mind.
( . . . )
Q: I just marked on my calendar the Philosophical Research Society lecture coming up December 3rd entitled “The Turning Point.” I remember that movie — it wasn’t a Paramount movie. “The Turning Point — Cosmology of the Reflexive Universe” — Jeffrey Mishlove Ph.D. The lecture is described as: “The late Arthur M. Young, cosmologist and scientist, developed a theory that encompassed science and mythology. The mystical number seven is seen as part of a Pythagorean process that expressed itself in chemistry, physics, biology as well as in Occidental and oriental creation stories. The turning point is where the descent of spirit into matter reverses itself.” I can’t wait.
( . . . )
Q: My grandmother, Mildred, who adopted my mother, had a black dog named Spook. We once visited her in Seneca Falls. She would always say to me, “May you bathe in the blood of Jesus.” She discovered Christ after once doing her laundry. She drank from the wrong cup. She drank bleach. But she didn’t die. And after that she gave her life to God.
( . . . )
Q: The black dog runs at night. “Twin Peaks”? “Angels in America.” “God does the best he can with what He has to work with at the time.” Satan. Santa. “Wings of Desire.” “Beauty and the Beast.” Cocteau. Cocteau Twins. “Blue Bell Knoll.” Thompson Twins. “Hold Me Now.” “Love Is The Law.” The Suburbs. “Orlando.” “Coming.” “Starlight Express.”
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THE FOLLOWING WAS RECORDED FROM MY PACIFIC BELL MESSAGE CENTER.)
V: Today at 1:20 p.m.
Z: Hi, Mark. It’s Carol Andersen. Just wanted to check to see if you have the Bell research information. If you do, could you leave it on my voice mail? It’s about two o’clock Utah time and one o’clock L.A. time on Friday and I’m at a crossroads here with the Bell research and I’ll just have to postpone it, I guess, if I don’t hear from you. Well, we did find out the Russell link that is your parentage and it’s not James; it’s Joseph. And we are moving ahead with the French line and the name’s escaping me right now. Anna Mary’s family. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.
( . . . )
Q: When my friend Fiona was working at LATC she invited me to see the play “Bogeyman.” She walked out soon after it began. I liked it.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I TAPED THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION WITH AN IBM HELPWARE REPRESENTATIVE EARLY SUNDAY MORNING. ‘V’ DESIGNATES AN ANONYMOUS PRE-RECORDED PHONE VOICE. AN UNATTRIBUTED HUMMING SOUND IS HEARD ON THE TAPE AT VARIOUS INTERVALS WHILE THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS REPEATED FIFTEEN TIMES AT INTERVALS DURING A LENGTHY WAIT.)
V: All the representatives are still assisting other customers. Please remain on the line for the next available representative.
( . . . )
X: . . . representative. My name is Mohammed. Can you hold on just one second? (“SHIT”)
Q: I’ve been holding for an hour now.
X: Just one second. I’ll be there.
X: Thank you for your patience. Thank you. This is Mr. Mark Russell?
Q: That’s correct.
X: And I’m assuming you’re calling about your —
Q: I got a new one.
Q: I just got the Aptiva m61 model 2168.
Q: I hope.
X: And the serial number, please?
Q: (I give him some other number)
X: No. It should start with F/N two three.
Q: Okay. Hold on one second. I’ll look.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I GO DOWNSTAIRS TO GET THE CORRECT NUMBER AND THEN RETURN TO THE PHONE.)
X: I heard some French. Is this the radio?
X: Do you speak French?
X: When did you buy this machine?
Q: Just yesterday.
X: Oh. November 25.
X: Okay. How can I help you?
Q: Okay. Let’s see. It seemed to be easy to set up. I installed WordPerfect and that was pretty simple but as I started the Windows tutorial — I mean I had heard there were problems with Windows. But, anyway, I was doing the tutorial and the screen froze up so I clicked on “shut down computer” because I wanted to start it up again. Now the computer screen reads ‘please wait while your computer shuts down.’
Q: So I just basically want to find out how I can clear the screen and start over.
X: Okay, Mark.
X: Turn the machine off.
Q: Okay. I’ve tried that though.
X: Okay. That’s okay.
X: Turn it off.
Q: Okay. Hold on.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I CAREFULLY PLACE THE PHONE WITH THE LISTENING DEVICE ATTACHED ON A PADDED CHAIR BEFORE GOING DOWNSTAIRS.)
Q: I just switched phones so I’ll be at my computer. I just turned it off. Now they’re speaking Japanese in the background.
X: What station is that?
Q: I don’t know. My phone picks it up. (“SHIT”) Tell me when I should turn it back on.
X: Turn the machine on.
X: When you see — just turn it on. Let it go.
Q: IBM rapid resume —
X: Don’t touch anything.
Q: It went back to “please wait while your computer shuts down.” It says ‘Microsoft Windows 95.’
X: And it stopped now?
X: The hard drive is not spinning or anything, right?
X: Okay, what I want you to do — press control, alt down.
Q: Okay, I did.
X: Leave the two down. Push the key delete.
Q: Okay. Hold on. I did. Nothing happened though.
X: Can you do it one more time?
X: The keys are the same.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: AT THIS MOMENT, I HEAR WHAT SOUNDS LIKE MY TELEPHONE RECEIVER THROWN UPON THE FLOOR UPSTAIRS.)
Q: It’s nine o’clock on Sunday. I’m feeling better now than I was last night. I hadn’t mentioned about getting a new computer because I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But I definitely needed to get one because my old printer is very slow and this book is turning out to be very long. I didn’t think it would be that much of a change working with Windows although my old WordPerfect program was operated by DOS. So this will add a new complication because I didn’t really want to spend a lot of time learning and hopefully I won’t but it’s not as easy as I thought it was going to be. And I was trying to get this book done so I’ll do the best I can and that’s all Michael would expect from me anyway so I’m not too worried about it. But He’s a good editor because when I got up — well, He might have woke me up. But, anyway, I got up at four o’clock a.m. and made that phone call and, of course, the battery was dying so I hope I can hear it all because it was very faint when I tested it near the end. Anyway, (“HE”) near the end I heard Him throw the phone on the floor. It was as if He was letting me know that this part is boring and I don’t want people to know just how stupid you really are. I mean He can do really major phenomena around me such as make me go out and buy — well, I’ll talk about that later — but he won’t do little things like fix my computer when it jams. Excuse me? I guess He does have a message — I guess there is something He wants to say about this but I have no idea what it is. When I finished the phone call the profanity was flying. (SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE SWEDISH) I’m sure you understand. I’m sure He didn’t take it seriously. I was just letting it out of my system. I think I yelled, “Michael, you can really be a bitch.”
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I SHOULD ADD ‘WITH APOLOGIES TO LAURIE ANDERSON.’ A VERY BIG SPIRIT LAUGH CAN HE HEARD ON THE TAPE HERE.)
Q: Well, so can I. Right? What can I say? So it’s Sunday. But, of course, for me everyday is like Sunday. For me and Morrissey. I just got his new CD — a couple weeks ago. I didn’t like it. It was much too dark for me. I like the old Morrissey with the hopeful lyrics and the beautiful thoughts. What happened? He sounds very depressed, very unhappy. Very. I think he needs to get laid too. So, anyway, it’s Sunday and — back to transcribing. I guess since I’m running out of tape on this side I’ll start another cassette. This book is going to be very long. I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to buy long books because I know I’ll never finish them. Like that book by Vikram Seth recently. I mean they have to be channeled. I mean what can I say? I mean no one in their right mind would write a book that long.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS FROM BOOK TWO [LXXXI] OF LAO TZU TAO DE CHING TRANSLATED BY D. C. LAU .)
194 Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words
are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive;
persuasive words are not good. He who knows has
no wide learning; he who has wide learning does not
195 The sage does not hoard.
Having bestowed all he has on others, he has yet
Having given all he has to others, he is richer still.
196 The way of heaven benefits and does not harm; the
way of the sage is bountiful and does not contend.
[Update made on October 27, 2020: My unseen guide indicated with a "NO" that this passage isn't literally correct as translated. These days the 'guide' (in Oneness) either taps me on a leg to signify 'YES' or 'NO' or occasionally speaks "NO" clearly through my gastrointestinal fluids; however, these incidents only occur due to the entity's determination and not when there is a particular question that I would like to have answered.]