POST-RADIO INTERVIEW — TAPE #765
L: Lou Gentile, “The Lou Gentile Show”
M: Mark, caller from Pennsylvania
K: Kevin Meares, caller
S: Sister Ciprian, caller
T: Matt, caller
D: Dan, caller from California
L: Midichlorians. I’ll tell ya.
A: I don’t think they’re . . .
L: Eh eh hh we’re on the air, dear.
A: Oh . . .
L: . . . everybody on the Internet, at least. No, he’s off. Yeah. I don’t think anybody really picked up when I said, “Are you there, Vlad?” And did anybody get that? This will not be in the archive, just to let you — (laughing) just to let you know that. Ohhh man, I’ll tell ya. Well now that we’re on the Internet only — a very interesting night. If you’d like to give a call into the show, what — what did you think of — of tonight? You can give a call in toll-free (gives number). I thought the guy’s name was Vlad so I — I — I called him Vlad. I don’t know. It was the first thing that came to mind because I forgot what the guy’s name was. Hhhoooh man. Sometimes I wonder why I ever got involved with this. I really do. So hon, what are we having for Thanksgiving tomorrow? I haven’t turned the mic on . . .
L: What are we — what are we doing for — do me a favor, move that mic out — from out, off the top of the monitor. Well I need . . . Put it down. It’s got to be pointing to it. Okay. “Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
M: It’s Mark.
L: Mark. You’re evil.
M: (laughs) Me?
M: Vlad? That was the best.
L: I think I may have a new job for you.
M: (laughs) No . . .
L: Because you get — you know, instead of me just pussy footing around, you know, you go ahead and you get right to the point. You’re like, “So, let me see here. Jesus?”
L: “Reincarnation? What exactly does that mean?”
M: (laughs) But in all seriousness with the voices or the voice that you played tonight, what is it that sparks the — the recognition, so to speak, when it comes across like listening on the Internet or on the radio, what-have-you? What sparks recognition? Just by the voice being played or the thought that this is something demonic?
L: Well for the most part when you play something like that, you’re giving recognition to that because you are hearing it. And when you are hearing that particular voice — (“NO”) must be that you’re giving recognition to that voice. Just as if you see a spirit, you’re giving recognition to it. If you are getting pinned down on a bed because you have an incubus or succubus or something like that, the recognition that you’re giving is because of the situation that’s happening to you. You’re focusing that energy of what you’re seeing and feeling on — on this particular ener(gy) — entity.
M: Okay. Just say —
L: Probably the — probably the easiest way I can explain it.
M: Okay. Okay. But this was a good show. (laughs)
L: Well see I — I tol(d) — you know, I made a comment in the chatroom. You know, I said, “You know, we interview guests for two hours.”
L: Right? Usually within like the — the — the first thirty minutes, we know if these people are on track or whatever. Some people take a long time in order to — to finally, you know — soon as — soon as we started hearing Jesus and “I was reincarnated” and all this other stuff, you know, it’s like, “Hm, what’s going on here?”
L: You know? “Did I just completely lose touch with reality or is there something I’m missing?” You know. So it took him an hour and 36 minutes. So —
M: Got to have Antoinette go ahead and ask him some questions.
A: (small laugh)
M: You got to have her do it.
A: Why? . . .
L: Well (“I”) as — it’s — see, she’s not as coy as I am.
L: You know?
M: You got to get a box of rocks there just to let everybody know —
M: — it’s the nut show. (laughs)
L: Oh — oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well I had a — I had a — who the heck was it? I forget. One of the radio stations down in Florida says — says, “Well — well, Lou, that’s all you have on are — are nuts.” I’m like, “That’s not necessarily true.” She’s like, “Well like the archives that I listen to — a lot of these —” I’m like, “Well what archives did you listen to?” She says like, “Well, you know, I heard Manima.” I’m like, “Well these are the shows that they are the nuts.”
L: You know? That — that — that we have on. But I mean, you know — the guy — the guy’s had some — some experiences and things like that so, you know, he was — he was on base with some of the — some of the things he was talking about. You know. But when he started talking about the — the reincarnation of Jesus and — and he was reincarnated as this and that. And, you know, he starts going on all these books. And I’m just like, you know, it’s Wednesday night, Thanksgiving’s tomorrow, how much longer? You know.
M: Do you think he was just trying to shovel something just to get a little reaction from you?
L: Well two — two — two hours is a long time for somebody to be on the air. So a lot of times people will start reaching.
L: That — that’s what happens. You know you get somebody who — who — like I’ll give you an example. (“WE”) When you have somebody who just has like one story, it’s very, very difficult to conduct an interview with somebody for two hours if they just have that one story. So you have to introduce new things into it. That’s why I really didn’t want to take the full two hours and just give it to him because I knew that he was going to start to — to get dry because, you know, I read his website and stuff like that. And I knew that he had a certain amount of information that he was going to relay and, you know, I talked to him off the air. So I knew that, you know, it was going to be — he was going to start to not necessarily bore people but just (“NO”) put them to sleep for the most part. So that’s why I basically ran the Enfield voices.
M: Well you got to run — you got to run him with the Satanists. You’ve got to put him and them together. (laughs)
L: Oh jeese.
M: That would be a show.
A: (small laugh)
L: That would be interesting. To say the least.
M: All right.
L: All right, man, thanks for the call.
L: All right, bye.
L: (gives number) That’s (gives number). So it’s Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It’s after midnight. Happy turkey day. (singing) ‘It’s turkey day. It’s turkey day. Hey.’ You know, the one time of the year that we can just totally pig out and it’s great. You’re on “The Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
K: What did you make me do?
L: Oh I don’t know.
L: Well I don’t know. It was — it was all right. You’ve got to work on your voices.
K: What was the question?
L: Your phone is li(ke) — you know, your — your phone. It’s like — Kevin, it’s like underwater world.
A: I heard him fine.
L: you know? It’s like, (muffled/mumbling) “Hello . . . Midichlorians . . .” I’m like, “What?”
K: I didn’t know what the question was. Wh(at) — what is Midichlorian?
L: It’s from “Star Wars.”
L: He’s in Hollywood and he doesn’t know what Midichlorians are. I mean that’s why I brought it up. He’s worked on all these different movies but when you said “Midichlorians” it was like, you know, pshhhhew right over the head.
K: I don’t know what it was either. I thou(ght) — I thought it was like a — like a Hindu god or something.
K: I didn’t know what to tell him.
L: Midichlorians are from “Star Wars.”
K: Oh. Okay. (“THERE’S”)
L: They’re — they’re ‘The Force.’ You know, Annakin Skywalker and all these other guys . . .
L: Yeah. So I don’t know.
L: That’s it. All right?
L: All right. Have a good night now.
K: All right . . . bye-bye. Thanks.
L: Bye. (gives number) You know, I’ll tell you what. (“THE”) The best part of these shows anymore is like afterwards. They really are. What did everybody think of tonight’s guest? What did you think of tonight’s show? Aside from the Enfield voices. I mean I’m sure that scared a lot of people out there. Now that’s not fake. That was a — this is a very well-documented case. But what did everybody think of — of the show tonight. (gives number) Very interesting. Thanksgiving 2002. Where has time gone? Is it me, hon, or did this year just fly by?
A: Flew by.
L: Really? (“JU”) Did you like my little comment in the chatroom about the rose? Do I get any feedback from that or what?
A: I gave you feedback.
L: I didn’t see it. You know. What’d you say?
A: I don’t know. I forget.
L: What do you mean you don’t know, you forgot? What’d you say?
A: You think I really believe that crap?
L: Why? I said, “You’re reincarnated as a rose because you’re beautiful.” Is that so wrong why I can’t say that to my wife? Jeese. You’re on “The Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
S: Yeah, hi Lou, it’s Sister Ciprian.
L: Yes, hello dear.
S: All I’ve got to say is it would’ve been fun sort of like guess how many personalities are living in this body?
L: (laughs) That would’ve been interesting.
S: I would’ve called in to ask a question but I don’t think I could’ve been civil.
S: This poor guy was — I — I was trying to figure out who was speaking at any one time. I don’t know if you got that feeling?
L: Yeah. We like — we like switched over about, like I said, six times. You know.
S: Does he actually get paid to — to say these things?
L: What do you mean?
S: I mean does this guy have books or something or —
L: He’s — he’s got — he’s got like an Internet book and, you know, he’s got some experiences. That’s why I thought like the first hour was kind of interesting, you know, but it slowly started to go towards, you know, here comes my — my big shebang answer, you know, or my big shebang topic, you know: “I was reincarnated as Jesus” and then that was it. (“NO”)
S: Well I — you should’ve asked him if, you know — I thought Midichlorians were the things you put in the water to purify it, you know?
S: I mean I’ll have it to hand it to Kevin. He was good.
L: Oh yeah.
S: But this is —
L: (small laugh)
S: — this is really — all I can say is interesting but not quite as much fun as Manima.
L: Oh yeah. I don’t know where Manima is. I tried to — tried to reach him and it’s just like, you know, it’s impossible.
S: Probably looking for his marker. (“PP”)
L: Probably. Probably. I’d love to get him back on. That was — that was — that was really classic because by the end of the interview with him he’s like smoking. He’s like drinking. All kinds of other things. And, yeah, you could tell that the guy was either getting drunk or he was just like so laid back that he just was starting to say everything that was on his mind.
S: Well now see if you get these two together on the show to debate their theories of existence and theology.
S: It could be interesting.
S: However, I would put a warning label up on the — on the website first.
L: (small laugh) All right, thanks for the call, dear.
S: All right, thanks a lot.
L: All right.
S: Have a happy Thanksgiving.
L: You too.
L: Bye-bye. (gives number) That’s (gives number). I always have to look over at that number. I’ve got to get like post-its. Hon, do we have post-its? I have to — to get post-its and — and post them up all over the place. I can’t keep turning over, you know, (gives number). But very, very interesting. Very, very interesting. It was — I don’t know. What did you think of tonight’s show? (gives number) That’s (gives number). We’re off the network and on the Internet only so — very interesting . . . so I don’t know. Maybe — maybe I should sell like a box of rocks in the store . . . That’d be pretty funny. You know, I’ve never heard from that person. See, what the — what the people don’t understand is, is even though we might, you know, make fun of — of the guest at some point, they get publicity out of it. A lot of people take offense to that but they don’t understand. You know, it’s not like we’re, you know, completely picking fights or whatever — calling it for the way we see it. I don’t know. Anyway, so tomorrow night we’re off. There will be no “Lou Gentile Show” tomorrow night, Thanksgiving. And we’ll be back on Friday night with Mark Macy — (“HE”) always comes up with these — with these very good EV(P) — Instrumental Transcommunication tapes that he has. Very interesting. And he will be speaking about Instrumental Transcommunication. You can visit his website. I believe it’s http://www.worlditc.org or com. I think it’s dot org. But Mark is — he’s a real good guy. He’s been on the show a — a lot of times. And every time he comes on the show he has a lot of audio excerpts for us. You’re on “The Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
L: And what’s your question, brother?
M: Hey, when are you going to update your archive?
L: That — that’s a good — that — the perfect way to set me off for Thanksgiving, right?
L: The archives will probably be taken care of like over the weekend. I have — I have some server issues that I have to take care of, which means the streams have to go down for probably about an hour. So once that’s done, then everything should be okay.
M: I work nights so a lot of times I don’t get to listen to the show so —
L: Well you get — they — they should be up by — by Monday. You know, at least — at least the — the last — I can promise you this. At least the last four shows will be up. The Halloween show I’m going to — I’m going to try to get up. See, what happens sometimes and — and I’ll let everybody know how — how this happens. Like right now I’m broadcasting and the whole show’s been recorded on RealPlayer. So what happens is, is that goofy me turns all the lights in here out, goes upstairs, goes to bed. Meanwhile, it’s still recording. Everything that — that — that’s being (“NO”) sent out over stream. Well I wake up the next morning, forget about it until two o’clock in the afternoon and I have this huge file that has to be, you know, compressed and encoded and all this other stuff. And sometimes it works and sometimes it don’t. So I have to, like, as soon as — I — I tried to make it as easy as possible and as soon as I’ve done the show I just encode it. So some of these shows I actually have to play live and record separately from this. So it takes a lot of time. It actually takes as long as the show is in order to do it correctly. So that’s kind of what’s been happening.
M: Okay, well thanks. Have a good Thanksgiving, Lou.
L: Yep, you do the same. Good night.
M: Good night.
L: (gives number) That’s (gives number). Yeah, the archives are — (“THE”) the archives are all screwed up. I think there’s like — I don’t know. There’s one, two, three, four, five, six, seven — seven archives that have to be updated. At least on the — for this month. And then we have to go to — there’s like a Halloween show and a bunch of other shows. There’s probably about 15 shows that have to be archived so that everybody can listen. So — but very interesting show tonight. And like — like I said, we’re going to be talking Friday night with Mark Macy. Let me make sure — that way everybody can go to the website. Oh it’s not — it’s not worlditc.com — it is worlditc.org. That’s what it is — worlditc.org and Mark will be joining us on Friday night. Yeah, this stuff is really interesting that he does. It really is. It’s very, very interesting. And he actually — I don’t know. He can explain it better than I can because I haven’t really had any — any formal training in this ITC. But he’s gotten some incredible photographs doing this ITC. And, basically, I — I think the premise is — is like he takes a video recorder — like a regular camcorder. (“AND U”) Yy — you — you ever — you ever see where sometimes you’ll — you’ll point a video camera at a TV that is recording — you know, that is — is hard-wired into that camera? And it’s like looking into a mirror. Well I think he does almost the same kind of thing but he like runs frequencies through there and some audio tones and the next thing you know these spirits just start popping up on TV and — and it’s pretty wild. But Mark has — he has a lot of — lot of interesting audio files to share with us. He’s actually more prepared a lot of times — a lot of times I — I didn’t give him that much time to prepare for the show. But this time he’s been well-prepared so he’s going to have a lot of — excuse me, a lot of audio for us to listen to. But very interesting stuff. Instrumental Trans Communication — (“YEAH”) it’s sort of like EVPs in a sense. EVPs are Electronic Voice Phenomena. You know when you take a recorder and you go to a historical location, (“R” “OR”) in your house or whatever and you just lay the recorder down and you get voices. And that has — I have very good luck with that. Some people don’t. Some people do. When you’re ghost hunting or you’re investigating the paranormal, you — you for the most part you get a niche for something. (For) some people, it’s spiritual photography; other people, it’s EVPs; other people, it’s seeing things but not being able to give evidence. That happens too. There are people out there that, you know, whatever — here, I’ll give you an example. You know, there’s — there’s one person that I know of that can go on an investigation — everybody else will get something except for this person. And Ed does. And this one person — a lot of people know who I’m talking about; other people might not. Let’s see if people know who I’m talking about. The question is this. There — there’s one person that when we go out on an investigation or whatever; or if this person goes out on an investigation by himself — it’s a man, takes pictures and audio and gets nothing 90 percent of the time. Maybe a little bit — 80 percent of the time, I should say. Everybody else around him gets activity on film, video or audio. Can anybody answer that question? Who am I speaking about? Toll-free (gives number). That’s (gives number). He’s actually admitted this on the air because it does happen. And it’s weird because I — he’s the only person that I know that this happens to. You’re on “The Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
D: Hey, Lou, this is Dan from California. How you doin’?
L: Good. How are you doing?
D: All right.
L: Happy Thanksgiving.
D: What’s that?
L: Happy Thanksgiving.
D: Oh. You too. And everybody else so — yeah, the person you talked about, that wouldn’t be Kevin by any chance, would it?
D: Oh, okay.
L: No. All right, thanks man. Good night. (gives number) No, at least — at least Kevin, you know, when — when he goes out — in the beginning he — he wasn’t getting anything. Took him a while to finally get photographs. The amazing thing about Kevin though and people should respect this because, you know, I — I think that this is actually very good — you know, Kevin in the beginning really didn’t get anything at all and then the next thing you know, he started getting spiritual photographs. But the interesting thing about Kevin is that he only uses a Polaroid camera, which is very good evidence. So Kevin’s niche would be using a Par — using a Polaroid camera out on an investigation. It’s funny too because his first — when he first got a psychic photograph he’s like calling me on the phone, “You’re not going to believe this. I got it.” I was like, “Yeah? Cool.” I was like, “That’s impressive” actually with a — with a Polaroid. And no, there are no prizes for this. (small laugh) I’m — I’m prized out. Actually, I’ve got CDs that got to go out. I’ve got a whole slew of stuff that has to go out. Some very bizarre things have — have happened with certain things. I don’t know. I’ll go into it next week once they’re — once everything’s all sent out. I’ll tell ya. I have absolutely no luck. I’m convinced. Absolutely no luck. “Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
K: This is Kevin.
L: This is Kevin.
K: I want to guess . . .
L: Go ahead. You’ll get — you’ll get it right. What?
K I will?
L: Yeah. Probably.
K: Is it Ed Warren?
L: Oh no, man.
L: Ah you’ve got to be kidding me.
K: Uh you?
L: One — one of my number one fans and — and you didn’t get this?
K: Is it you?
L: N(o) — is it me? No, it’s not me.
K: I don’t know. I don’t know anyone else.
L: Is it me?
K: Uhhhhh —
L: Jeese. Me? Mm my —
K: Your wife?
L: For the most part, if I don’t get any — get any evidence when I go out, there ain’t nothing there.
K: Was it (or “WAS IT”) — it’s someone on the show before, right? Who was it that —
L: But nice — nice try but you only get one turn.
L: It’s going to bug you but, yeah, you’ll find out in a couple minutes when some other people call.
K: All right.
L: All right. Thanks, man.
L: Good night. (gives number) That’s (gives number.) Le(ts) — lets hear from some people that have never called into the show. Everyone what? You mean everybody in the chat room? Oh not really. Yeah, but you got to understand. There’s a (or “THERE’S A”) — see, the thing that you don’t understand is there’s a lot of other people that are listening. Aside from that chat room. And it doesn’t seem like that. I think one of the biggest things — at least on the Net — I think one — I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what the problem is. We get calls sporadically. Hon, I’m waiting for callers to call in and ask. Well y(ou) — why do you have to guess?
A: I’m bored.
L: You’re bored?
A: I want to play the game too.
L: You want to play the game too? All right, here. Let me hear your official answer. Your mic’s on. Go ahead.
A: What was the question?
L: The question is — is that there’s one person who 80 percent of the time doesn’t get paranormal photographs or EVPs.
A: John Zaffis.
L: Yeah, you’re right. It’s John Zaffis.
A: I figured.
L: You’re on “The Lou Gentile Show.” Who am I speaking with?
M: Yeah, this is mm Mike.
M: Yeah, the — John Zaffis.
L: You know what, Mr. Olaf? That’s a really nice try on a voice but you have to understand something. I’m the voice master. Right?
M: All right.
L: See. I told you. I’m the voice master. I can tell. (deep voice:) Hey, yeah, is it John Zaffis?
A: Should’ve told them it’s Elvis.
L: (small laugh)
A: (small laugh)
L: Well honey it’s Elvis Presley. Yes, it’s John Zaffis.
M: It is?
L: ‘Is this John Za(ffis)’ — you got it right. Nobody — nobody — nobody said that. (laughs) Very good. It’s John Zaffis.
L: Have a good night. Bye. I’ll tell ya.
A: . . . Lou? . . . even imitate . . .
L: Nah. I don’t — I — I have to hang around people for a while in order to imitate them.
A: Okay, I’ve got one for you. Tony Montana.
L: I’m not — you know, you always tell me to do Tony Montana. An I can’t —
A: I think it’s funny.
L: — do To(ny) — yeah but I can’t do Tony Montana on the radio or I’ll get thrown off.
A: Well you embarrass me in restaurants with it.
L: Well yeah. I know but can’t really do that.
A: You tell people . . .
A: Your wife is corroded or what — what am I?
A: The Tony Montana says in the movie when . . .
L: Oh I’m not — yeah but I’m not doing that. I can’t — hon, I can’t do that on the air.
A: Why? It isn’t bad.
L: What I say is. (laughs) All right?
L: You know that. That’s the only way that that — that comes off right is — is by doing it the right way. You know, which happens to be how he says it. You know? I have to get in character — although I did get in character for Denise Duff. You know what, I’ve got to call her. She’s supposed to fly us out to — out to the premiere of that movie. And I heard that this is coming real soon. I’ve got to call her. I’ll call her up an — and scream at her, “Where’s my plane ticket?”
A: Oh yeah, we’ll really fit in.
L: Yeah, you have celebrities out there. You have Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Hullo, Lou, how ya doing tonight?” “I’m doing fine, Arnold. How are you doing?” “I’m doing very good. Do you want me to come on your show and talk about ghosts and poltergeists?” “Yeah, that’d be really good. Come on and you could talk about, I don’t know, ‘Terminator 3.'”
A: Okay, anybody —
L: Actually he’s — actually he’s supposed to come on the show for that. Why do I give things away?
A: Imitate Liberace. (“NO”)
L: Y(ou) — you want me to put on that — that voice?
L: No. Because then everybody thinks I’m gay.
A: Well everybody already does.
L: They don’t think I’m gay, hon. I — I’m not —
A: They do too.
L: Hon —
A: Give it up.
L: You know what was pretty funny? What were we wa(tching) — what we were watching last night?
L: I mean no(t) — you know, it —
A: Oh, he wanted to watch — why did you turn me off for?
L: I didn’t turn you off. You’re still on.
A: Oh I am? Okay. He told me to put on the dyke channel.
L: Yeah. Why? What’s the matter with that?
L: I thought it was pretty cool.
A: I knew there was something wrong with you.
L: Ah come on, man. You know what? Drexel University has this channel, Comcast, DUTV. And I was up late last night or the night before. I don’t know when it was.
A: Up? You never went to bed.
L: Yeah, that’s ri(ght) — oh yeah, that’s right. I never did. Well I did actually but —
A: I woke up at what —
A: 3 — 3:30?
L: Yeah. Yeah. But — and then I watched the — the dyke channel. Or not the dyke channel — the — the dyke show of something like that. “Dyke TV.” That’s what it’s called. It’s called “Dyke TV.” I’m serious. I’m not kidding. It’s called “Dyke TV” on Drexel University TV. I don’t know — Comcast something something. Whatever channel. Comcast Digital Cable, anyway. I thought it was pretty neat. ‘Cause I was trying to figure out — and I — I don’t know. I don’t — you know, I really don’t know if there’s a difference between a dyke and a lesbian.
A: I think a lesbian looks more like a woman but a dyke looks like a guy.
L: I — I wish somebody could explain that to me. What the difference is between a dyke and a lesbian.
A: That’s just what I say.
L: I think you’re allowed to use ‘dyke’ on the radio though.
A: I don’t — if they have “Dyke TV.”
L: Yeah, why not? Yeah. “Dyke TV.” (“HI”) But I wish somebody could explain to me the difference ’cause I’m sitting there and I’m watching. I thought it was pretty good. Didn’t I? I mean I sat there watching it for a half hour.
A: They were showing a — one case about a 17-year-old girl who was tortured because she was a lesbian.
A: How they sliced her up, which was awful but, you know, hate crime.
L: Yeah. They were talking about this hate crime. This lady got — or actually — actually what happened is, is supposedly this woman was walking in a park or something like that and these guys drove up and — and they saw her. And they pinned her down on the ground and they like (or “LIKE”) carved ‘dyke’ on her. What did they — what did they do? They carved ‘dyke’ on her arm and ‘dyke’ on her stomach.
L: And then she went to the cops and the cops were like, “Yeah, right. Sure this happened.” And this was in Washington state, I believe it is. But, you know, I’m trying to figure out what the difference is between a dyke and a lesbian —
A: (small laugh)
L: — because, you know, on “Dyke TV” they all have butch cuts and — and they look like guys. And I’m just wondering, you know, if — and — and, honestly, I mean nothing against dykes or lesbians but I’m trying to figure out why — I don’t know. Are dykes supposed to be —
A: Here. Read —
L: — look like men?
A: — read what . . .
L: And lesbians are supposed to be — supposed to look like women? I don’t — I don’t know. I don’t understand it. Honestly. I really don’t. I wish somebody would call in here and explain to me exactly what — what the difference is.
A: But I just want people to know that we’re not making fun of them. We’re just — just talking about them. My best —
L: Well yeah.
A: — one of my friends was gay.
L: Did you and her ever get it on?
A: No, not a girl. A guy.
L: Oh — did you ever have lesbian sex, hon? No, just kidding. (small laugh)
A: . . . No. (laughs)
L: Really? Do you have her phone number?
L: Let’s call her up.
A: (small laugh)
L: I’m only kidding. (laughs)
A: Yeah. (or “YEAH”) (small laugh)
L: No but — yeah, I’m trying to figure out what — what the difference is. Honestly. I mean I wa(tched) — I watched — I watched that — that show last night for a good half hour. Oh what was the other one that was on before that?
L: It was — there’s a — there was a show that was on right before “Dyke TV” — “Fat Dykes” —
A: Oh yeah.
L: — was what it was called.
L: I’m not kidding when I say this. People are —
A: That’s right.
L: — probably listening to me, saying, “What the heck is this guy talking about?” An I’m dead serious. I saw this on TV last night.
A: That’s right.
L: It was on Drexel University TV. They run some really weird things late at night. Really weird things. But I — I don’t know. Some — if there’s — if there’s a woman who’s a lesbian or a dyke out there — I sound like Howard Stern now. But if there is and you can explain to me the difference between, you know, why — wh(y) — no, I’m serious, hon. I want to know because yeah, I watched that show for a half hour and I’m confused. Okay? I really am. It was — it was like a — a dyke bar but all the women who were in there looked like guys. I — I don’t understand that. But yet they say that lesbians go there too and there were women who were walking in there who looked like women, I guess. I don’t know. It’s weird. You can give a call into the show at (gives number). That’s (gives number). Explain to me the difference. If there is one. I don’t — I don’t know. Interesting topic.
A: Well I know that one time — well, see, before you and I got mar(ried) — well were together, me and my girlfriend were downtown and we seen a couple of cute guys and we followed them.
L: Oh yeah, I heard about this.
A: Into a club and they were great looking. So we’re in the club. Bunch of great looking guys and all of a sudden we look around, “Oh. We’re in a gay club.”
L: I know.
A: I was like —
L: That’s how accurate —
A: — “That is such a shame.”
L: I know. And you met Kevin there and all that stuff. I know. I know.
A: Yeah, I know.
L: That was horrible way to — anyway.
A: (small laugh)
L: I know. Kevin’s my buddy. He’s great.
A: And then you were in the background. That’s how we met . . .
L: Yeah, right. Oh sure. Sure. You and I met under some very weird circumstances. Nobody’s ever heard how you and I met. What? Should I tell ’em?
L: How we met?
A: It’s retarded.
L: Why is it retarded?
A: Oh well.
L: Why is it retarded?
A: Okay, how’d we meet?
L: How did we meet?
L: Well —
A: Usually guys don’t remember nothing.
L: Oh I — I — believe me. That — let me tell you something, dear. When it comes to when I first met you, okay? I know. Hey what — oh I know what it is. Hang on a second here. Trying to — trying to do something. I know exactly when I met you. How — how couldn’t I remember when I met you? ‘Cause right now wh(ip) — whipped. (song starts)
A: Tell you something, whipped. Let me tell — another guy was supposed —
L: Yeah, why?
A: — to be in your place, Lou.
L: Oh I’m sure.
A: Okay? You get to do whatever the heck you want. I never hold you back.
Pop song begins: Crack that whip
L: When I met you —
Get the plastic slip
Step on a crack
L: — I was in my second year —
Break your momma’s back
L: — of robotics.
A: Oh my God. What a dork sound. Go ahead.
Well when a problem comes along
L: Yeah, why?
You must whip it . . .
L: What’s wrong with that? I have a useless degree. (small laugh)
A: You should be playing Mr. Roboto.
L: I don’t have that.
A: Oh, okay.
. . . Now whip it
L: I think this is appropriate.
Shape it up
L: Devo. “Whip It.”
Move ahead . . .
L: And —
A: Okay, cut the music.
L: — I was at a — no, why? Why should I quit music?
. . . Whip it
A: Okay. Lower it.
Whip it good . . .
L: There. How’s that? Is that okay, honey? Anything to make you okay and comfortable? Is that — is that okay? Should I lower it just — just a little bit more? Hon?
L: Should I lower the music just a little bit more?
A: That’s all right. Hey, how about that shore story?
L: Wait a minute. I — I want to finish how we met. Anyway, so I was in my second year of taking robotics. And I went to a robotics convention at Valley Forge Convention Center. And I’m walking — you know, I’m — I’m walking around this place and, you know, I’m seeing all the different robots and all that other stuff and, you know, I — I was a geek. I’ll admit it. No big deal. I’m a geek. But that’s a good thing. That’s a very good thing. So as I’m in there (sound of nine clock chimes commence playing) I look to my right and I see this beautiful, astounding woman. Should I tell ’em what you were selling. (laughs)
L: I think that’s the funniest thing. That’s — that’s the whole — that’s the funniest thing of the — of this whole — this whole romance is what you were selling. Anyway, so I — I’m — I’m looking and I see this beautiful woman. And, you know, I — I think inside of every man —
A: Okay, get on with the story.
L: — when — what? I’m explaining this and I think a lot of men might be able to — to relate to this who are married. I got this feeling in my stomach. And this feeling just exploded. I don’t know — it was weird. It wasn’t butterflies. It was more like a — an explosion. And it smelled really bad afterwards —
L: — but you know I — no. Kidding. (small laugh) No. But — no. But, anyway, I looked over and I see her and the next thing I know her hair’s lightly blowing in the wind. (wind sound effects are played) Then she looks at me. We made eye contact. Slowly, my eyes began to roll down her neck —
A: All right . . .
L: — into her massive cleavage. I was completely and utterly turned on. No, I’m kidding — anyway, we just locked eyes and I just had this — you know, this explosion that I never felt before and I went over and started talking to her about the most useless crap that you could ever think of. Okay? I don’t know. I think I walked over to you. I’m like, “Oh what are you doing here?” (small laugh) Or something stupid. You know. And I’m saying to myself, “Oh God. You know, I just completely blew it. And I’m sitting there and I’m looking at her. I’m trying to say to my — I’m saying to myself, (“YO”) what in the world am I going to say to this beautiful woman? So she’s selling tripods that have lasers on them; that spin around, you know, for leveling rooms and things like that. So I start asking (“TO THE”) stupidist questions, you know: “Oh how much is this?” You know, like I had any money with me anyway, right?” And I said, “Oh well, you know, I’ll — I’ll — I’ll — I’ll see you around.” And I walked away and I’m saying to my — a feeling. It was j(ust) — hon, it was weird. It was like a magnet — turned back around, said, “You know what? I’ve got to talk to this lady again.” She’s too gorgeous to pass up. So I walked back, start talking to her again about something completely useless. You know: “Oh what’s the price on this?” You know: “What — is it made out of fibreglass?” You know: “Oh how — oh how — how long you’ve been working here?” Blah blah blah — whatever. So I said, “So well maybe I’ll see her — see ya around.” And, lucky for her, she said, “Well I’m going on break soon.” Wow. That was it. That was it. She said the magic phrase: “Well I’m going on break soon,” which any guy out there knows that once a woman says that” — (small laugh) let me tell you something. Once a woman says that, boy — (plays new song)
Erotic . . .
L: (small laugh) It’s all over.
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic . . .
L: Oh yeah. So I walked around for a little bit. And naturally she had the Gentile vibes flowing. Oh yes she did. Saw her drinking coffee, which if I’d known how much coffee she drank I probably wouldn’t have married her. But, anyway — just kidding. Anyway, I saw her over there. Boy, went right over to her. We started talking. And from that point on it’s history. She just rocked my world. The only woman that I’ve ever felt that for. Very, very weird. No, I’m serious, hon. That is the only time that has ever happened in my life. I would’ve never walked over to you if I didn’t feel that. I’m sure people have — have had that feeling before. And then we go to Atlantic City and that really sparked up Dr. Love. I don’t want to go into that. Huh? (Small laugh) No, I don’t want to — we don’t want — that’s not rated for the air but —
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: MADONNA'S SONG MAKES IT HARD TO HEAR WHAT ANTOINETTE IS SAYING.)
L: Two kid — two kids later. (small laugh) And everything that has — that I’ve ever done in my entire life — every single thing that I’ve ever done inside of my entire life — you know, we — we have kids. It’s great. And then I realize I’m — I’m actually on the toilet one day.
A: Oh you’re disgusting . . .
L: And the little peace that I do get. I’m ser(ious) — guys know this. Come on. You know — you know th(is) — th(is) — this is how it is. Guys know this. The — the — the — the bathroom is the only place where a man has peace and quiet. Especially with me because of the smell. But, anyway, and I’m sitting on the toilet and I’m saying to myself, “You know what? My father reminded me — you know, told me when I was younger, ‘When you have kids, every single thing that you do now, it’s all going to come back to you.'” And let me tell you something, they were right. Believe me my friends, everything that I have done in my entire life has come back to haunt me with two beautiful children. All the screaming and yelling that I did when I was a child. All of the rebellion I did as a child has come back to haunt me in my children. And let me tell you something. Anyone out there who says, “Oh we’re going to have children and we’re going to live the beautiful life” — that may be true. Let me tell you something, once they hit six, seven, eight, boy, and you have two kids and they’re the same — the same — they’re — they’re girls or they’re both boys, forget it. It’s like Monday through Friday mud wrestling matches from four o’clo(ck) — or from three o’clock when they get home (from) the school til twelve or one when they go to bed. But that’s another show.
A: (small laugh)
L: Our kids are like me — I’m wondering if I have narcolepsy or something because I — I think it’s — maybe it’s — maybe it’s — maybe it’s genetic. I can’t sleep. What? I — I — I’m — I really can’t sleep anymore. I don’t know why. You know, I get involved with something I just don’t want to sleep.
A: You sleep, okay . . .
L: Yeah but I sleep during the day. I’m like a vampire. What? Hon, speak up into the mic because I can barely hear you. I’ve got headphones on. You know . . .
A: I have to . . .
L: You have to what? Speak into the mic.
A: I am speaking into the mic.
L: Other than using sign language, I don’t know any other way to let you understand that. Here. Come on. Talk in the mic. Oh you are? Go ahead. Do it again.
A: Can you hear me now . . .
L: Try it again. Hmm. Well that’s bizarre. Oh, well it would help if you turned the mic on. Go ahead.
A: Oh, okay. I turned it off
L: ‘Oh — oh really, there’s a switch on the mic?’
L: ‘Well I didn’t really understand the concept of a switch.’
A: Okay, can I tell my story?
L: What story is this?
A: Oh please. Okay —
L: Wait a minute. Wait. What story is this? Is this one that you’ve already said on the air?
L: Well then I have to be careful. What is it?
A: I didn’t tell new story yet.
L: Wha(t) — what’s it about?
A: From down shore.
L: Which one?
A: Okay, when me — me and you were driving in the truck and then my mom and dad (“WW”) were in front of us and we’re pulling into the house.
L: Oh yeah. All right. Well you — you can tell this story. All right, this is disgusting but go ahead.
L: This is — all right, now th(is) — I’m going to explain something, everybody out there.
A: Oh Lord. Here we go. Another hour.
L: And the Philadelphia Police Department may have had this happen before. Our fine officers. The Philadelphia Police Department have the most dangerous job in the world.
L: But I — I wonder how many police officers have ever had this happen before? This is — ahhh. This is funny.
A: Okay —
L: This is what you do when you get pulled over. Go ahead.
A: All right, we’re getting ready to pull down to the road where our house is.
L: Now this is a little — this is a little like, you know, out of the way little town, you know, so there’s like police officers, cops, whatever, all over the place. There’s like about 13 cop cars.
A: They’ll stop you for nothing — just to give you a ticket.
L: In about four square miles. Okay? (or “OKAY”) Go ahead.
A: Okay. So we’re making the turn. A cop sees us. He’s following us in. He decides to put on his lights and pull us over in front of our house. So, anyway, I get out of the truck and Lou’s in the truck. He — he’s starting to get out and the cop — “Can I see your license and registration?” And Lou goes, “What did I do?” He said, “I — can I see your license and registration?” (Lou) goes, “Oh okay.” So, you know, he open(s) up this truck door again and he’s leaning in. The cop is like right on his back. So Lou leans on the floor and pulls out his wallet underneath the seat and has he does that, he farted —
L: (makes farting sounds)
A: — so loud and it smelled so bad that the cop just says, “Okay, never mind, have a nice night” and wa(lked) — and went away. Never gave him a ticket.
L: (small laugh)
A: It was great.
L: That’s how you get out of a — n(ow) — see how — how deep my voice gets? I’ll tell you the later it is at night, (“THE”) the tireder I get —
A: . . . so funny. You had to be there.
L: Oh yeah. Well that’s how you get out of it. I wonder if there’s any — any police out there listening — they have any stories? Oh I’m sure they got plenty of stories. Funny ones. But that’s how you get out of a ticket.
L: Hell yeah, it works. Especially in Jersey.
A: Should have seen the cop’s face. Looked like he wanted to puke.
L: Oh yeah. Ha ha. Don’t ask me to give my — (small laugh) don’t pull me over and ask me to get my license. (small laugh) Because I’ll tell ya what. If it ain’t in my wallet and I’ve got to reach for the glove compartment, forget it. (small laugh) That’s it. It’s all over. The interior of the car melts. (gives number) That’s (gives number)
A: Can you do that on demand, Lou? Can you fart on demand?
L: No, I can’t do that.
A: (small laugh)
L: But I’ll — I’ll tell ya. That is extremely — well that — that’s probably the — the — one of the most — see, I — that’s another thing I don’t understand. You know, when people get pulled over, I could see if you know the — know the cop. You know, like a — like a buddy of mine pulled me over in Delaware County. I knew it was him. And he pulls me over to the side of the road, right? And I jump out like a screaming maniac. And I’m screaming and yelling. And he’s looking at me and he’s laughing. He gets out and he’s — he’s laughing, right? I’m sitting there and these people are driving by and they think I’m a complete psychopath, right? But (“I”) yeah, I knew him. But there are some people, okay?, that the police pull ’em over and it’s like, you know, “How come you’re pulling me over, you idiot?” And I’m — I’m sitting there, saying to myself, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I was in a car with a guy one time and he got pulled over because he was doing like 75 miles an hour and I told him — you know I’m like, “Dude, you’re going get — you’re going to get a ticket on this road because 309 just isn’t a place where you — where you do 75 miles an hour on.” And he’s like, “Ahh, don’t worry about it. I travel this road every day. Not a problem.” And he’s — he’s driving down the road, you know. The next thing you know ‘whoooo.’ Cop car pulls us over. Buddy rolls his window down. Cop comes up to the window. My buddy — my buddy’s like, “What the F are you doing pulling me over? I can’t believe —” I’m sitting there going, “Oh my God. I can’t believe this guy. I’m going to get shot, right?” So I’ve got my hands on the dashboard, right? Because I’m expecting that I’m going to wind up getting locked up with this guy or somebody’s going to start shooting. You know. And it’s like you get pulled over, you got to be as polite as you can. Yeah — especially the dru(nks) — (“YOU KNOW”) with the drunks.
A: Look at the time —
L: You know, when — when they’re — when they’re — when they’re dri(ving) — drinking and driving? And they get pulled over? It’s like, “Hell, sir, wh(at) — what are you — what are you pulling me over for?” “Have you had anything to drink tonight?” “Uh no. Not really. Just five drinks. I just left the bar.” “Okay. Here. Wa(lk) — walk the line.”
A: It’s like that one time I was leaving your parents house and I was driving home and there’s this one thing in the road where you’re supposed to get into your left lane because the right lane turns into like a turn where you turn into a shopping center. Well I’m in the right lane and I’m getting ready to turn into a shopping center and I — went into the left lane cutting somebody off real fast and a cop seen me. And he pulled me over onto the side. He comes out like all — like kind of mean. He goes, “Do you know what you just done? Can I see your license and registration?” No, first he asked me for license and registration and — and insurance. And then he says, “Do you know what you done?” I’m like, “Yes, I do. And this is what happened. I panicked. I don’t know my way around here too well.” He goes, “Oh okay, well listen, forget about it. Just take it easy and go home.”
L: Oh yeah.
A: Yeah, you get cops like that.
L: I — I had — I had one — I had one cop when I was younger. I was always wanted for like putting lights in my car. Well you know how my cars used to be. They used to look like Knightrider. And all the gizmos we used to have inside of it.
A: “Smokey and the Bandit.”
L: Oh yeah. All kinds of goofy things. So this one time I go ahead and I — I take these — these lights — was a, you know, the Knightlighter — Knightrider light, you know, and they sold it in stores for like twenty bucks. Took like ten hours to install, right? I put this on my Thunderbird. So I’m driving through this one place, Swarthmore out in Delaware County, and the next thing you know this cop pulls up behind me and, you know, throws his lights on. Now, (“YEAH”) granted it was one o’clock in the morning. Just getting back from my buddy’s house. Pulls me over and he says — he says, “Yeah.” He says, “That — that little flashy light thing on there has got to go.” I said, “All right, yeah, no big deal. I’ll take it off.” He says, “No. You don’t understand. It’s got to go now.” I said, “Okay. What — what am I supposed to do?” He’s like, “Get a screwdriver. If you don’t have one, I got one, and rip it all out. It makes you look like an ambulance.” I said, “Okay, all right, whatever you want. Looks like an ambulance?” He’s like, “Yeah. It looks like an ambulance.” “All right.” So I go ahead and rip everything out. And he’s like, “And the switch in the dashboard.” I’m like, “Excuse me?” I’m like, “The light’s out.” He’s like, “Well you need to take the switch out.” I’m sitting — now you got to understand this is one o’clock in the morning. It took me about an hour to fully pull out all this stuff. That was like the craziest instance I had when I got pulled over. This guy made me completely disassemble everything. So I don’t know. It’s one of those stories. (gives number) That’s (gives number) Interesting night. It’s turkey day.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I CHANGED TAPES AND RECORDED THE FINAL HOUR OF THE INTERNET BROADCAST BUT AS IT DIDN’T INCLUDE ANY ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ABOUT MY INTERVIEW I’LL SAVE IT FOR TRANSCRIBING AT A FUTURE DATE.)