RADIO INTERVIEW — TAPE #185 SIDE #2 EXCERPT
Q: Mark Russell Bell
R: various KBGG radio spot voices
D: Darian O'Toole, the 'Caustic Canadian Swamp Witch' on KBGG
S: Sean Kelly, Darian's sidekick on KBGG
Q: So it's 7:15 and I'm getting ready for my second interview (today). I glanced at the astrological forecast for today by Sydney Omarr and, of course, my biggest question is whether or not to tell people this is the case study of the second coming and this says, ". . . Ability to keep a secret," which is one of the things I should focus on today. So I guess that's what Mighael's telling me, 'Don't say it's the second coming because people won't believe it and you won't sell any books that way.' So I'll do everything but like I did in the last call. Thank you, Mighael.
( . . . )
Q: I'm on hold. Like the earlier channel (today), you don't hear anything while you're waiting. I wonder what they're saying. The producer, Steve, is really nice. He said that Darian was ranting and raving today — "already," he said. (sound effect attributed to show as broadcast is connected to my line)
R: . . . was gold. Today, it's jade. Join Channel 4's Catherine Hedon and explore the natural underwater wonder off the coast of Northern California. See who's cashing in on this hidden treasure and the questions it's raising. "In Search of Jade." Tonight at 11 on "Newscenter 4."
R: Then, on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno, it's director David Lynch and Emma" star Gwyneth Paltrow. All this great entertainment only on prime Channel 4.
D: KBGG 98.1, the classic hit station. 8:21. Darian O'Toole and Sean Kelly. This is tough to follow.
S: This is kind of strange.
D: Mark Russell Bell —
D: — and this is a bigtime L.A. publicist.
S: I know. He's worked on some big stuff.
D: He's worked on, like, "Forrest Gump" — what else? "Braveheart." "Ghost." "Indiana Jones . . ." "Fatal Attraction." "The Ten Commandments." I mean this is no smalltime guy.
S: No. Not at all.
D: But apparently Nostradamus mentions him personally in his prophecies.
S: Who would've known?
D: Well, I didn't know.
Q: Hi, Darian.
D: How are you?
D: So now Nostradamus wrote about you?
Q: Right. Well, if you'll notice, the famous 'Mabus' is an anagram in my name.
D: Oh, see, now I missed that completely.
S: Well, that just goes to show you.
D: Sure. You got the M — A in Mark and the —
Q: Well, you see, my condo is right outside the Angelus Temple here in L.A.
Q: I'm an identical twin. And I'm descended from an ancient monastic bloodline.
D: You're an identical twin and you're what?
Q: Descended from an ancient monastic bloodline — the House of Russell.
D: Okay. Now you — and you say that you were an Egyptian deity?
Q: Well, it turns out — because what happened is this book began as an investigation into a talking poltergeist case known as the Bell Witch.
D: Oh right!
Q: I found out —
D: The famous Bell Witch case. I know it well.
S: Oh, I remember that.
Q: Well, in Tennessee in the early 19th century. However, I found out that there was a contemporary family so and they also were named Bell. So I went and I spoke to them. And, at first, I thought maybe ("I") this was some kind of family curse and I was related to them but after doing more investigation I found this Egyptian pendant that had my picture on it. ("AND") Of course, my name being Mark Russell Bell and this entity was apparently Bel-Marduk so I said, "Oh, this has to be me."
S: Has to be.
D: Well, sure.
D: Who else could it be?
Q: So —
Q: And since then I've been doing interviews with other people about their experiences in the unexplained.
D: So what did Nostradamus predict about you?
Q: He said that "A Man will be given the task of destroying / temples and S — E — C — T — S not S — E — X changed by [strange] fantasies: / He will harm rocks rather than the living, / By filling ears with eloquence." Much as I'm doing right now. ("I") My message basically —
D: So what does that mean —
S: You are eloquent.
D: — so in English what does that mean? You're going to be a rock harmer?
Q: My message is that — forget religion and forget dogma — love is the only religion and the only way we can show love to God is by helping our fellow man —
Q: — which is something that people don't do. They just think that ministry is important.
Q: Rather than helping the homeless and helping the planet.
D: Okay. And so you're showing — so that's what you're all about. You're all about love and —
Q: Yes, my book is all —
D: But your next book — isn't your next book an outing of every gay actor and actress in Hollywood?
Q: Well —
D: That's not very loving . . .
Q: Well, see, I've been doing more interviews and this subject keeps coming up. I've literally heard these rumors (about) just about everyone in Hollywood.
D: Well, it's in your bio.
D: It's in your bio. It's an article about you.
Q: Right. That was why — one of the interviewers has focused in on that.
Q: Everyone's most interested —
D: That little, tiny detail.
S: Just a little detail. (laughs)
D: The god of love is going to out people.
S: Against their own —
D: Funny how we get fixated on something obscure like that.
Q: Yeah, well — no wonder. But, you know, also I noticed —
Q: — your nickname as being a "caustic Canadian swamp witch." This might suggest —
S: Yeah. Nostradamus talked about me too.
Q: Well, he — no, but it might suggest you're the reincarnation of an actual witch.
Q: You know — which is possible.
D: Reincarnation nothing. I'm the first generation, baby.
S: You're the original. That's right.
Q: Right. Are you familiar with your family tree?
D: No. I'm actually quite frightened of my family tree.
D: I don't want to trace those roots.
Q: Oh really?
D: I don't want to go into the deep, dark wood . . .
S: Not at all.
Q: Because there was a witch with Bel in her name. Her name was Isobel Gowdie.
D: My God. We could be related.
S: Bels everywhere.
Q: Right. You could be Isobel Gowdie's reincarnation.
D: I could be. I could be that.
Q: Right. So at the end, if you let me, I'll give you an 800 number where your listeners can call to get a copy of the book. But I have pictures of ghosts. I have pictures of a bigfoot —
D: Yes, you do. Now what do the ghosts look like?
Q: Well, one of them is — some of them look just like humans in, like, "Little House on the Prairie" fashions — old fashions. But one looks like smoke or wisps.
S: Any of them look like Casper?
Q: It's hard to say. No, I wouldn't say so. Some of them look like aliens, actually.
Q: The family in Oklahoma thinks —
D: Now, you actually — you are — I mean you're a bigtime publicist. ("RIGHT")
Q: Yeah, that's right.
D: Now what do the people — I mean what do people — now you're working on "Ghost" and you're working on "Forrest Gump" — I mean what does someone like Tom Hanks think of you running around saying you're an Egyptian deity?
Q: Well, I left my manuscript on my friend Sherry Lansing's desk and she has not spoken to me since. ("ONEY") She's freaked.
D: Really? Well, she's probably busy . . .
Q: Well, plus, she's married to William Friedkin. You think she'd be interested in this type of thing.
D: Yeah. You would think.
Q: But who knows?
D: Okay. So —
Q: But apparently I am related — I have my family tree in the book and I'm related to not only Alfred Hitchcock but, obviously, Ken Russell, the director of "Tommy" and "Altered States."
S: Wow. Are you related to anybody who lives in a trailer in Tennessee?
Q: Not that I know of. ("BUT") But this family was really neat. They were seen on "20/20" and "Ghosts, Mediums, Psychics: Put To The Test." And they thought they had aliens living with them. Of course, they tried to sell it as a poltergeist for ABC. And I realized that this really was an amassing of spirits, otherwise known as an angel. And they named him Michael and so, of course,I — ("HE'S") He's living with me so I name Him Mighael too.
D: Oh, you — the angel is living with you?
Q: Right. Because He kept — things have keep — keep on happening.
Q: Basically —
D: So He followed you home?
Q: Well, I had strange phenomena in my life all my life but I didn't realize what it was.
D: . . . angels. You know I pick them up all the time.
S: (small laugh) I know.
Q: It was sort of like God revealing Himself to me.
S: . . . and you can't shake them.
Q: Right. I had all these strange experiences as a child but going to Oklahoma was kind of like going to the magic mountain ("AND") and being formally introduced to my angel.
Q: And, of course, then I realized I have all this other religious symbolism in my life like the Paramount mountain — the Paramount logo.
D: Okay, then.
Q: I've had burned bushes phenomena.
D: Paramount — you consider the Paramount logo religious?
Q: Oh, well, definitely. Like Moses going to the mountain.
D: Moses going — I — every time I see that Hollywood sign — ("WWW")
S: (small laugh)
D: — there.
Q: Right. And my —
D: Okay, well, Mark, it was a pleasure to talk to you.
D: I'd like to talk to you more.
Q: Can I give you my 800 number where people can buy the book?
D: Ohhh, no, I don't think so. But thanks.
D: Bye bye. I'm going to go meet with my — (line disconnected)
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: FOLLOWING THE INTERVIEW, I SENT THIS LETTER TO THE SHOW'S PRODUCER STEVE ABRAMOWITZ.)
Enclosed is a complimentary copy of TESTAMENT.
I hope you were able to mention my (800) number because I had made it very clear that this was the condition for my agreeing to be a guest on the show in the first place. As you will see upon reading my book, people have been damned for far less. Just kidding. Sort of.
As for our ranting and raving 'Caustic Canadian Swamp Witch,' will somebody please tell her that she doesn't have to be a witch in every lifetime? Reincarnation was intended for us to become more spiritually aware as we avoid mistakes of past lives. I am enclosing some direct mailing postcards as you may want to buy Darian a copy and help enlighten her (or any other of your 'friends').
If you like, you can make the special offer mentioned on the postcard available to your listeners. I think that would be a nice gesture very much appreciated by our Angel Who has worked so long and hard to help mankind.
Sincerely,Mark Russell Bell