B: Bono (radio broadcast)
E: The Edge (radio broadcast)
J: Jed The Fish, KROQ interviewer (radio broadcast)
L: Larry Mullen (radio broadcast)
V: Program Montage Voices/Station Radio Spot Voices
A: Adam Clayton (radio broadcast)
N: Linnea, caller from Chicago (radio broadcast)
H: Michelle, caller from Chino Hills (radio broadcast)
R: Commercial Announcers
C: Carson Daly, KROQ DJ (radio broadcast)
Q: Mark Russell Bell
M: Michael, computer technician
I: Gavin Murphy, IBM representative

B: Okay? Okay?

E: It was the worst two weeks of my life, Bono.

B: And I will confess that it had something to do with a particular haircut that I had — that launched, you know, a lot of second division soccer players and it —

J: That’s right. It was kind of long —

B: It was long in the back, short at the top.

J: It was kind of like Prince Valiant woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something like that.

B: I just want to — I know it was enough and I know we’ve been punished for it ever since but I want you to know that at the time I thought I looked like David Bowie. (laughter)

J: Alright. A guy named Steven J. Cannell who wrote some very successful and horrible television shows over in this country in the last twenty years or so — he said that writer’s block stems from a desire to be brilliant. (Can) you guys relate to that statement?

E: I wish I knew. I’ve never had it.

J: Yeah?

B: I’ve never had it.

E: No, I’ve never had it but I suppose if you weren’t brilliant you might —

B: But I think it’s true. You’re getting at the trying too hard thing, aren’t you?

J: (laughs) Yeah, I’m getting at the trying too hard thing. Yeah, how do you —

B: Like ‘Why don’t you just settle down U2 and just, like, go and get the fish farm in England and stop being hip?’ I understand that and I have a lot of sympathy who just — (“YOU KNOW”) “Why can’t you just cruise control like all those other dinosaurs? And why — what is the desperate hole in your life that you’re obviously trying to fill with all this music?” That’s what you really wanted to say, isn’t it, Jed?

J: I wasn’t going to go there. I wouldn’t do that. Actually, I got too much respect for you guys to ask that but it is really hard to just set out to do something truly unique like the “Pop Mart” tour and not repeat yourself and still not be self-conscious about it?

B: We do. We are sometimes painfully, horribly, awfully self-conscious as I do think sometimes we think too much about what we’re doing. But the thing — the overriding thing, the overriding reason for that is just the four of us just really don’t want to be in a crap group. You know? That’s that simple. And because how would you — it’s just about self-respect. And I also think coming from punk, which is a long way but when punk broke in the U.K. and all that and we were fifteen and sixteen years old, there were all these groups that just — they all wanted to be put down, you know? And we wanted to put them down. And I think I still have the memory of that and I think there’s people out there who want to shoot us in the head and — but I don’t think that we — I think the real reason for putting a bullet in somebody’s head is because they’re making crap records. And we’re not right now. But if we do, load up.

J: I want to play “Happiness Is A Warm Gun.” Do you guys have that over there?


L: That’s a nice segue.

J: That’s — I mean I got a little taste of that from Danny Saber, (“WHO’S”) one of the best remixers around right now.

B: He’s more than a remixer. He’s just — he’s in love with his thing, with music and we were happy to work with him. Very happy.

J: How did the “Happiness Is A Warm Gun” thing happen?

B: Robert Altman had a TV series called “Gun” —

J: Is it still on or has it gone on or —

B: — and he asked us to do the theme music — to cover The Beatles tune. I mean covering The Beatles tune — I mean that is like sticking your neck out the window.

J: Oh so you didn’t have the idea to do the song?

B: They asked us, “Would you be interested in doing that tune?” And at first we thought no and then we thought let’s — well we played — we just messed with it for a while and took it to a sort of more urban thing. Let’s hear it. I’m just — I’m starting to really bullshit here now. I’m really going on.

J: I know you are. It’s good to have —

B: I should go to the bathroom. Is there pizza?

J: Oh yeah, there’s supposedly pizza on the way. Let’s bring him in here and see what he thinks.

Q: Isn’t it funny how even rich people can’t have pizza sometimes when they want it?

J: Alright, this is brand new. This is a world premiere exclusive of U2 doing “Happiness Is A Warm Gun” — “Pop Invasion With U2.”

Happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness is a warm gun.

V: Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr. will control all that you see and hear — U2’s “Pop Invasion.”

( . . . )

J: Hi, it’s Jed The Fish and U2 are being gracious enough to hang out a little bit longer in the studio. This is our last break and we’re going to take a couple of more phone calls. I don’t know if it’s too late to get through to (gives number). But I was reading an interesting interview. I’ve read a lot of material on U2 in the past month or so. But apparently Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins did an interview with you guys. What was that experience like?

B: It was —

E: It was great.

J: It was — everybody in the band was in the interview or —

B: Yeah. I mean Billy’s one of these people that is going to take — he’s just going to take his thing into another level. He’s really — they’re an extraordinary group, all of them — and he has an extraordinary imagination. And he’s very generous in his support of us on this project. We’re getting a lot of support actually from people but Billy stuck his neck out early on and —

J: How did he stick his neck out?

B: It’s a very long neck. (laughter)

J: That’s right. The guy’s like seven feet tall or something like that.

B: Yeah. I normally don’t hang around with tall people but I’d make an exception for Billy.

J: He came to Dublin to interview you guys. Are you an admirer of his music? I think he’s just one of the best songwriters around right now.

B: Yeah, he’s just extraordinary and they’ve taken that search and destroy rock and roll as far as it can be taken. And now he’s off, you know, rooting around, looking for something else. I think he’s doing something with Courtney Love who I just think is an extraordinary singer.

J: With Courtney Love? Yeah, actually he’s — there’s been some misunderstanding about what he’s actually doing on the Hole album but I think —

B: I would carry her suitcase, myself.

J: Well, they’re rehearsing this month so I’m sure you could stop by and carry her suitcase. But — yeah, here in Hollywood.

A: In diapers.

J: But he’s in on the all-important process of deciding which songs to do, helping them out with arranging the songs and making sure that they can be performed well before they go in the studio. And I think that is maybe even more important than recording the songs although Michael Beinhorn who produced a Social Distortion album and lots of other stuff recently is quite good at that too.

Alright let’s talk to — whoever’s on line two. That would be Limmea from


N: It’s Linnea.

J: Linnea. Sorry.

N: Hi.

J: You’re talking to U2.

N: Yeah.

J: How often does that happen?

N: Not very.

J: What are the chances?

N: Hi Edge, Adam, Larry, Bono on behalf of my friend Jenny and I. My question is for Edge. I would like to know if you’re planning on singing any more songs on future albums?

E: There is a good singer in our band already, it has to be said so —

B: But Larry doesn’t want to do it.

N: (laughs)

E: Well just because I can sing doesn’t mean that I should. That’s the point.

B: That’s not true, The Edge.

N: Well, I don’t agree with that.

E: Well, I don’t know. It’s a hard call because I can sing a bit.

N: If the song fits.

E: But this man can sing exceptionally well so —

B: I’d trade places any day, man, just get me those . . .

E: Well, the answer is maybe.

J: Okay?

N: Alright. Thank you.

J: Thanks a lot. Incidentally, one of the most appropriate and exciting images on the big “Pop Mart” TV screen is a close-up of Edge’s guitar. It just seems to be the right shape and it just to me that’s one of the images that really makes the video screen work. Okay —

E: He wears it well.

J: Yes he does. Michelle from Chino Hills. What’s up?

H: Hi.

J: What’s up? You’re talking to U2 on KROQ.

H: I’m so excited. I just want to thank you for the wonderful music that you’ve put on over the years. I’m just a great fan and I just think that you’re daring and brave. Every time you come out with something you totally surprise us and I think you for that.

A: Well thank you.

L: Thank you very much.

B: Oh gosh.

J: Thank you for the kind words.

B: Thank you.

J: As it happens, I agree with them. Thank you so much for coming by — doing the “Pop Invasion” tour.

E: It’s been fun. Now you guys haven’t done radio interviews in like a decade or something. Is that true?

B: No, well it’s been good and we would like to pop into a few radio stations but its hard, you know, to because when you do it with one, you have to do it with a lot and there are great stations out there that’ve supported us and KROQ here played our records from day one when we got here so we’re happy to be here, very proud to be here in KROQ. BCN was another one that —

J: Boston? Where Tammy’s from.

B: So it’s just — I liked it. In fact, I’m not going. You guys can take the limo. I’m staying. Where’s pizza?

J: (laughs)

B: But do I have to wear short pants? That’s just — that’s the thing.

J: It’s Jedum. I’ve had a blast with you guys. We’ll be right back.

V: I feel great.

V: “Pop Mart.”

V: Space offspring.

V: Open your mouth.

V: Time for commercialism.

V: You can’t take it with you.

V: Spend all your money.

V: Buy everything.

V: Big sale.

V: You do.

V: The “Pop Invasion.”

V: Will be back.

V: Purchase everything.

R: Save on hundreds of new CDs now during Tower Records’ most wanted music sale . . .

( . . . )

V: If you’re eighteen or older, join me, Richard Blade, at the world famous Palace in Hollywood for KROQ night tonight . . .

( . . . )

R: Hello my good friend, I’m DJ Dave from the Virgin Megastore. Come by any of our Virgin Megastore locations and check out the exceptional new release on Capital Records Grand Royal from Luscious Jackson entitled “Fever In, Fever Out” . . .

( . . . )

R: Medical alert. Medical alert. Jetta fever has hit Southern California . . .

( . . . )

R: It’s Friday afternoon, closing in on day two of the Infinity pre-owned sales derby at Los Alamitos racecourse . . .

( . . . )

R: As you can see, unmasking the real Batman is virtually impossible but you can unmask Batman with the new unmask Batman game at Taco Bell . . .

( . . . )

V: Carson Daly. The world-famous KROQ.

Summertime and the living’s easy . . .

The burning sun will someday rise . . .

( . . . )

And she knows she knows she knows. . . .

C: Will you open that door? Hold it open. Eric, hold open that door. Hey, what the hell am I supposed to do now that U2’s gone? You a-holes! I hate them. Hi, how are you? 106.7 KROQ. That’s Carson Daly. What am I supposed to do now? Let me just apologize for the next two hours of radio after the biggest band in music history sits in with Jed and just hangs out like — and then like the punkass has to come in here. I’m like, “Hi, how are you? Locally, chilly and — just a little bit later.” It’s like what the hell’s going on? What an exciting day at the world-famous KROQ. I’ve never seen so many bottles of Dom Perignon in my life. And Bono and the guys of U2, seriously, just about the coolest guys. They remind me of fraternity guys. They were so cool and it’s just like — you know, you’re kind of scared to meet them and they’re just cool. I mean they’re just like — hey, they look you right in the eye and they’re like, “Carson, nice to meet you.” Like — “Don’t say my name. You’re too cool for that.” This is pathetic. What the hell am I supposed to do, Eric? I’m lost. It’s like the biggest day in radio station history. This is huge. And they throw me on after. I’m like, “Hi, from eight to nine The Cure will be with me and then from nine to ten Depeche Mode.” Eat that, Jed. Alright. I have nothing to give away, nothing to play, nothing to do. You will be bored out of your minds for the next two hours compared to what you just heard on the world famous KROQ broadcasted all over the world the last hour and a half. U2 was willing to stay — and I have to just say this quickly and we’ll play some more music here for you in a second. I’ve no idea because there’s a thousand people at the radio station. It’s as if the President was here. The funniest thing of today having U2 in the radio station was the fact that the guys in U2 were hungry and we ordered pizza like forty minutes ago and Domino’s or whoever we ordered from never showed up. It was like if “thirty minutes or less” ever had any meaning, it was today at KROQ and it never came. I heard Bono say — like, he said it on the air just like, “Hey, what happened to the pizza?” And I’m the only other guy in the studio. I don’t know. I’m starving. I hope it gets here. So hopefully the pizza will come and me and Eric and who the hell is — Jack. We’ll just eat, like, 22 pizzas. God bless you for sticking around on KROQ for my sorry ass. What we’ll do is play some new music from an L.A. band That Dog, also Nine Inch Nails is next on the semi-famous KROQ with Carson. (taped commercial follows)

C: (following “Staring At The Sun” song excerpt) Okay, that was a little sample of “Pop,” the latest album from U2 on Island Records. Where can you get it on sale for $13.99 CD, $8.99 cassette — where? You’ve got it. The Wherehouse, where there’s always a great deal going on. Like “Pop” from U2. Come get the album and catch U2 live in concert June 21st at the Coliseum. (“Discotheque” song excerpt) Remember every Wherehouse purchase comes with your thirty-

day risk-free entertainment guarantee which means you won’t get locked into keeping an album you don’t like even if you open it. It’s like a safety net and there’s only one place to get it. Where? The Wherehouse. (“Last Night On Earth” song excerpt).

( . . . )

Q: So I’m going to bed late tonight. Tomorrow’s the concert. I’ll be brief because, as you just saw, long interviews can be terribly tedious. Clipped.


Q: Repeat what you said about what was the problem.

M: I’ll show you. It’s each allocation unit on a very big drive on the old Windows — you see, like you have — see, divide your hard disk up and there are lots of little bitty spaces?

Q: Right.

M: So it allocates the unit for each thing like this. And let’s say your file is this big. Like right here.

Q: Right, you know I’m taping this because I don’t have anything to write notes on.

M: Oh I’m sorry. Well —

Q: So just — what do they do wrong because people don’t care about — they’re just —

M: You need to use a new Windows to F disk so that you have allocation units that are smaller. Like when I do this, you’re going to have allocation units of four bytes.

Q: So why did they do that in the first place? Just because they’re lazy or —

M: I don’t know.

Q: — stupid or —

M: I’m not sure. I have no clue.

Q: Whatever — it’s for some reason it serves their interests. For some reason — whatever it is.

M: Maybe. I have no clue.

Q: Okay.

( . . . )

Q: That was an interesting comment. Who couldn’t possibly be that unlucky? Me?

M: (small laugh) That’s true. I —

Q: Is it something that’s totally ridiculous? What does it say: “A: — ”

M: It just worked a second ago because I had moved this over. It now says it’s corrupt like —

Q: This is a nightmare. . . . (portion hard to hear)

( . . . )

Q: So how could it be working one moment and not working the next moment? Is my machine possessed?

M: No clue. I don’t know. I don’t know why it doesn’t work now.

Q: Is my machine mad at me for anything? If I say I’m sorry, will you work? I’m sorry.

M: I realized my drive isn’t going to work . . . should’ve backed it up on there too, I guess. You wouldn’t think that — I’ve never had this problem.

Q: You wouldn’t think that we would’ve had any of these problems. So it’s doing something that you think is unusual? To put it mildly.

M: I’ve never had this . . . it’s about the worst possible thing that could happen.

Q: Well — but really we did manage to save a couple files. So the worst case scenario — I can always have them send me out the new Windows and have them install it with me over the phone, right? So —

M: Well see the problem is — no, see, that won’t work because you don’t have your — they’re going to have send the drivers unless you can find the drivers.

Q: Okay.

M: The problems is — now I’ve deleted your hard drive and now I can’t get the drivers off the Internet which — oh, this is going to be a mess. Let me see if I can — I just tried this a second ago. It didn’t work but I’m going to try my drivers for my CD-rom.

Q: Okay, thank you.

( . . . )

Q: Is this like the worst thing you’ve ever seen before?

M: I don’t know if it’s the worst.

Q: They’re all —

M: But the fact that I’m far away from home . . .

Q: What is?

M: The fact that I’m this far away from home — I can’t get at anything. That kind of makes it bad.

Q: Yeah.

( . . . )

Q: I just hate computer problems because I feel totally helpless. (“BECAUSE I” “THERE’S”) I know nothing about any of the technical side of it.

M: . . . problem even if you do.

Q: Exactly.

( . . . )

Q: My friend Marie was telling me (“THAT”) I’m having a taste of what’s going to happen when all the clocks go wrong at the new millennium on the old computers, I guess, because the new ones are pre-set for the change. Have you heard about that? I think it’s more of a suburban myth than actuality.

( . . . )

Q: Please God, I’ll be good. Just fix the goddamn computer. Please — I forgot to say please. You’re even having disk problems now?

M: No, I think that’s a . . .

Q: Oh really? Could be anything. Once when I was working at Paramount I couldn’t convert a file on a disk to my computer. (“WHICH WAS”) Very unusual at the time. And I tried different disks and still it wouldn’t work. I retyped it on the computer (in the stills department) and it still wouldn’t work. Now what?

M: I thought it was a disk problem but now it’s —

Q: Now it’s a general failure.

M: It’s fine. It’s just that I can’t do anything with this file that I copied over from your computer. The one that I needed.

Q: Oh no.

M: Any time I try to move it or anything, it won’t —

Q: Is there a glitch there?

M: Something with the — this means there’s something wrong with the actual disk.

Q: Oh shit. What next? Well I do have blank disks over there if that will help you in any way.

M: Well no because I needed that file and then I — it was on your computer but I put it on here.

Q: So that’s the only — where it only exists there now. What next is all I can say.

( . . . )

Q: I tried praying. (“IF THAT”) If that’s of any help. Even sincerely. Please. So do you know — are you formulating a new strategy?

M: I’m trying to figure out what to do.

Q: Oh God.


I: . . . reinstall Windows 95.

M: Had to reinstall completely, you know, straight from —

I: Was the modem working before?

Q: Yes. The modem was working before.

I: Right. Okay. And it’s only after you’d done the reinstallation with 95 that you had this problem?

M: Yeah. Right.

I: Right. Okay. When you reinstalled Windows 95 how did you do it?

M: Just from a blank — I reformatted the drive and started from the start-up disk and ran it through.

I: Right. Okay. And what error messages have you received?

M: None.

I: None at all?

M: No error messages. It starts looking for the modem and it just says no modem is detected.

Q: By the way, I’m very upset that they do not give you the installation disks when you buy the computer. That really pisses me off that they can’t even give you what you need for these types of problems.

I: You should have got those. You should have got the . . .

Q: Well I did not get them. I did not get them when I purchased it. I got it from The Good Guys.

I: Right. At — what I’m just going to take a look at here is . . . you need or you should have received. Now your machine came pre-installed with Windows 95. Is that correct?

Q: Right. That’s correct.

I: Okay. Now you should have got one recovery floppy disk and the Aptiva product recovery CD.

Q: Where was that? What would that have been in?

I: That should have come with the machine.

Q: But was that in a special folder? I mean maybe I have it and I just am not aware of it.

I: I think it should be in the, you know, the package with the bundled applications. To my knowledge that’s where it would probably be kept.

Q: Okay because I showed him, you know, the folders I had. There were like six cardboard folders that said Aptiva. I didn’t really see anything there but I could be wrong because I moved since them.

I: Right. Okay. Do you have the red recovery CD now?

Q: What is that?

M: No, he doesn’t have the recovery CD. He doesn’t have any of the —

I: Is that the one that you were referring to that you should have got and didn’t?

Q: Well, I know I don’t have — to install Windows — yeah — no I don’t know what — I know this question has come up before because I’ve had other problems and at one point I was told that it had been installed at the factory and I didn’t have them.

I: Right. Okay. The — when you installed Windows 95 what did you install it on?

Q: I didn’t install it. It came in my machine when I purchased the machine.

I: But you just said you reinstalled —

M: Yeah. Yes.

I: So what did you install it off if you didn’t have the product recovery CD?

M: I just installed it off my disk.

I: Okay. Your own disk?

M: Mine. Yeah. It’s not his.

I: Right. Okay. Just one moment. The first thing I’m going to do is I’m going to send you out the product recovery CD and the recovery diskette.

Q: Thank you very much.

I: You should have got those.

Q: Thank you.

I: No problem. You also need the exploration CD.

Q: They did send me the modem, by the way. The upgraded modem.

I: The actual modem itself or one of the disks? The software upgrade?

Q: The software upgrade I believe.

I: Okay, that’s fine. You also need the exploration CD. It’s on its way to you now, June the 27th, and the recovery diskette will be due on the 2nd of next month. I just need to take down your address first of all.

Q: Okay. I can’t remember which address I gave to the previous representative. Can I give you my post office box?

I: Yeah, okay.

Q: (gives address) By the way, thank you. You’re being very nice. I”m just very hysterical about this. What was your name again?

I: Gavin.

Q: Okay. You sound like you have an accent. Are you from the continent?

I: Yeah, you’re actually — you called me in Ireland tonight. Dublin, Ireland.

Q: Oh. I’m going to a U2 concert tonight.

I: (small laugh) Okay then. When you say that you can’t find — your modem not being detected, (“A”) what exactly are you doing when you get this message? Can you just roll me through it?

M: Well I can just double click on modems and — well the first thing I did is I tried to set up dial up network.

I: Okay. (“UM-HUH”)

M: And it — oh my, what did I do? Okay, unfortunately Windows just crashed so — hang on. I’m going to reboot — yeah. Basically I just went to set up the dial up networking. It’s going to “detect modem,” checked COM3, COM2 and COM1, didn’t find anything in — you asked me if I wanted to set one up manually and I looked in the book and it — I wasn’t sure what modem he had so I just went along with the M-whatever — (“M”)

I: The Mwave.

M: Yeah, is that the one that cones with this computer? Anyway, I put it on COM1 because that’s where it said all the Aptiva modems are on COM1 . . . — on COM1 so I go to modem and go to properties and if you push more info or whatever it just, you know, it has to access the modem or communicate with the modem and it, you know, just doesn’t find it.

I: Okay. Fair enough. Right.

M: I’m rebooting also if you want me to do something.

I: Okay, off the top of my head I think that there could be several things wrong. First of all, the — probably (“IT’S”) there’s a good possibility that the — that particular version of Windows 95 isn’t the most appropriate for this particular machine because it has its own special version of Windows 95. Alright?

M: I see. Okay.

I: So I mean we could go to problem determination here but it may well be that the answer is quite simply that (“NO”) you need these CDs which I’m sending you out.

Q: Can I pay extra to have them Fed-Exed?

I: Sorry?

Q: Can I pay extra to have them Fed-Exed out?

I: Okay, just one second. I’ll see if I can — I may be able to get them to you sooner. (“OKAY”)

Q: Is that what we need, Michael? I mean —

M: Yeah, I —

Q: — you can’t do anything. You need to get those, right?

M: I don’t know.

Q: Okay.

M: That’s what I need to find out.

I: I mean if you have to start in this problem determination we have to start on a firm foundation, you know?

M: Okay. I didn’t realize that I had to set up a whole new — isn’t there a driver that I can get? I mean wouldn’t that be the only problem really? As far as which version.

Q: As you see that we’re under a huge time pressure because I have a website up that just was installed — (“THAT JUST”) came open like last week and, anyway, there’s just many, many complications in terms of geography and technology.

I: Today’s the 21st. I can give it to you on the 26th.

Q: Well that’s —

I: Will that be okay?

Q: Well not really because (“YOU KNOW”) just in my own circumstances. My consultant is going to be leaving town — what is it? Tuesday?

M: Tuesday. Yeah.

Q: Is there someplace where I can pick it up?

I: No. It will be sent to you. Unless you try going to the actual store itself where you bought this and maybe, no, they’ll have — I can give you the part numbers.

Q: Okay, well I don’t know, they — this was the only — you know, it’s one of those stores that have every computer there so they only had like — IBM’s not their major line or anything.

I: Okay. The part number is — okay, I’ll just give you the part numbers. You might give them a ring and we’ll see what they have. The part number for the multimedia exploration CD — 07H1635 and the software recovery diskette — it’s 76H1463.

Q: If you send these things, will I be able to do that or do I need someone like Michael to do that for me?

I: I would advise you to call us straight back because —

Q: Could you do it with me over the phone?

I: We’ll be able to roll into the procedure with you.

Q: Okay.

I: But that would be the ideal way because, hopefully, this will solve the problem with the modem.

Q: Well if we can’t figure out anything else to do, that’s what I’ll have to do.

I: Right.

Q: Is there anything else you want to ask, Michael?

I: No. There’s no real point in going on until we have your system booted back up with the proper material that it left the factory with.

Q: Can you — is there anyone — I see so it’s just too bad that it takes so long (“YOU KNOW”) to get all this. I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere going back to the store. You know how they are. Unless they’re trying to sell you something, forget it.

I: Yeah. Well I mean —