Q: Mark Russell Bell
W: William Neish, Southern California HIV/AIDS Hotline assistant
J: John Slovick, Hotline assistant
C: Chris O’Hanlon, Hotline volunteer
D: Dae Man Yang, Far Corners Antiques & Art
A: Amanda Suzanne, Amanda Suzanne & Friends

Q: So, William, don’t be scared of Mi . . . (“BOOK”) One can’t be too afraid of an Entity that fucks you.

W: I don’t know.

Q: In many, many different ways, I might add. Not just literally. (“FUNNY” “SENT”) I should say — (“SCARY”) not in a negative connotation. (“THIS TAPE”) He likes to play little games.

W: (says something about a condom that’s hard to hear) . . . and wear it all the time.

Q: Actually, I think the mango-flavored condom would be best.

W: Oh. Okay.

( . . . )

Q: This is the best newspaper. In fact, they’re even letting me put one of their articles about the Cassini Mission on my website. They have some really strange things, though, sometimes. Like there’s this article here, which is really great to read, about the cosmic maya — (“THE”) “Planetary Mission of the Extraterrestrials. Written by Willaru Huayta, Chasqui Sun Messenger of the Incas.” Isn’t that something (“RHYMES WITH” “THAT’S”) right up my alley? Just to give you a sample, it says — wait, where is it? You have to read this. But it says:

. . . It is their mission to guide us safely through this transition by awakening our consciousness. If this is not possible, then they are here to evacuate those few who will be chosen to be the seed of the future generations. Those people will be chosen according to the quality of the love radiating from their aura.

J: Then they’re going to get rid of the rest of us?

Q: (laughs) Why do you say ‘us’? (“I”)

J: (laughs) (“YOU DON’T HAVE”)

Q: I don’t think you’re one of the ones that they were talking about. (“BUT NOW” “ONE BL” “Z” “BUT YOU MAKE” “O”)

J: Will make it or won’t make it? (“WELL”)

Q: No. (“I” “AINA” “NO” “FUCK”) People in their own hearts know how much love they express and if they give back as much as they take. And if they’ve been involved in any cover-ups.

J: (laughs)

Q: No, really. (“THAT’S THE T” “T N[EW]” “YES”) The two new commandments: (“IS”) ‘Give back as much as you take’ and ‘Thou shalt not (“PARTICIPATE”) cover up.’ (“THE”) The thing is, though. People always wonder why Jesus went around saying, ‘I’m the only one saved.’ (“I”) So I think this article might put things into a little bit more interesting perspective, to say the least.

( . . . )

Q: So, Chris, guess what happened? I went to dinner in Huntington Beach.

C: Huntington Beach — okay.

Q: Right. And I met a rocket scientist—no pun intended—and an art director for commercials. She was 44. He was 28. We did our little walk along the beach. I told him how everyone’s gay and I explained why everyone’s gay. The kid looked — well, let’s just say (“HE SCREWED”) he screwed her. This was the first time he ever met her. The next day he had to bed her because he had to prove his masculinity.

C: (small laugh)

Q: I mean isn’t that — I mean I was so blown away because when I found out, my friend who introduced me to her said, “Oh, she’s so spiritual.” And I’m saying —

C: She’s a slut.

Q: (small laugh) It’s like I really wish my friends would stop using that word ‘spiritual’ because it’s really — I mean (“E”) at least whores charge money. I mean if that’s spiritual —

C: (small laugh)

Q: I mean I think (“YOU KNOW”) sex is a divine gift. (“UM-HUH”) And I keep telling people this. You know, I wrote him a letter because I’m trying to get him to do something on the Cassini Mission. And he did admit to a cover-up in terms of — I interviewed him on tape and asked him about if it’s true that the government had technology that the general public wasn’t aware of and he said, “I’m not going to talk about that.” (“HE WOULD”) He mummied up real quick. So, anyway, he’s (“YOU KNOW”) one of these characters who thinks he knows it all. He thinks he’s hot stuff because he’s got tickets to U2. I mean you know — sad.


It was nice meeting you at the party. Here is that information about the Cassini Mission I promised to send you — along with my website address in case you would like to sample my book.

Also enclosed is something I downloaded that offers proof Someone very loving is watching over all of us.

I’m sorry if I made you feel self-conscious by discussing some of the themes of my work. There can be no wisdom without honesty as all the world’s wisdom traditions remind us. To say that everyone is gay is not to say that everyone is promiscuous — that is pathetic stereotyping induced by the media. Sex is the most sacred bond possible between two people and to think otherwise is to identify it as something other than a divine gift.

What is wonderful about being an individual is our choice to select another individual as our soulmate — our personal manifestation of God to love and cherish. I am one of the lucky ones who has found a Soulmate and the fact that the Angel revealed Himself as gay is a very challenging concept for people. People who repress their sexuality sometimes try to prove the lie they tell themselves through promiscuity with the opposite sex. Not everyone is a rocket scientist! Isn’t it ironic that the very words have become a joke as we face the new millennium. I’m sure you will enjoy or have enjoyed the U2 concert. Bono is a great channel for the Energy, as one might say.

Q: (speaking into tape recorder) So, of course — I’m in the car. I just left the Hotline — and I turned on the radio and Dr. Laura was talking about humility before judgement. I have to — when I talk and interview people — to make a point sometimes you’ll be very judgmental or you’ll sound judgmental because you’re trying to make a point. But, of course, it’s always good that Mighael reminds me about that. It’s very hard, as I’m sure radio therapists will tell you, to always come from a place of humility and not make judgments. And, of course — anyway. I mean I’m not any kind of an expert on anything. I’m just an individual who’s trying to share a particular perspective gained from a series of events to help people reflect and think about issues. Of spirituality, ethics, sexuality, repression, responsibility — taking responsibility for every action. That’s what I call making a stand and living in holy communion with God.

( . . . )

Q: So I’m here at lunch at Astro Burger across from Paramount. They have a lot of wonderful vegeburgers — vegetable burgers which taste better than anything at McDonald’s. When you consider McDonald’s, just remember it’s not the meat. It’s the condiments and everything else.

( . . . )

Q: So that was good. Astro Burger — right across the street from the globe on the Paramount studio lot. So guess what I read today at lunch? I picked up a copy of Genre magazine and I was reading an article that I could have written (“IT”) entitled “Gay Gay-Bashers” by Tim Bergling. And I’ll just give you a snippet. The headlined paragraphs are:

You get into deep trouble when you pose a single hypothesis to any question. I’m sure there are many people who hate homosexuals out of a religious or conservative upbringing. But I also don’t doubt a significant chunk of homophobes are in fact repressing their own sexual identity.

Right now it’s pretty difficult to quantify the nature of these attacks. To make a blanket statement that all gay-bashers are secretly gay could make the problem worse. People have to be allowed to come out when they’re ready, in the way that they’re ready, to the people they’re ready to come out to.

Q: There’s also an article entitled “Ten Couples Who Intrigue Us” by Robert L. Pela. The first couple is Hadrian and Antinous. It says in the first of two paragraphs — just to give you an idea of the entire article:

It’s been a couple of thousand years since Roman emperor Publius Aelius Hadrianus had a tragic attraction to Antinous, a sexy Bithynion lad about whom little is known. But the nearly 500 surviving busts and statues of Antinous tell us all we need to know about why he was the emperor’s favorite: Broad-shouldered and well-muscled (if not particularly well-endowed), the 15-year-old was a striking beauty. Hadrian was 48 when the two met; he and Antinous were inseparable companions for nine years, and their now legendary romance was widely acknowledged (if not exactly celebrated) by the ancients, whose canons of morality were quite different from our own.

Q: And he also talks about W. H. Auden and Chester Kallman, Gore Vidal and Jimmie Trimble, Bob and Rod Jackson-Paris, Rock Hudson and Marc Christian, David Geffen and Keanu Reeves, Tennessee Williams and Frank Merlo, Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy, Jann Wenner and Matt Nye, Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Berge. Well, I’m sure a lot of people have only heard a few of those names before. I might add there’s also a snippet that says “Ten Couples Who Beguile Us” and it lists “Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, David Bowie and Iman, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe, Jack Wrangler and Margaret Whiting, Tom Selleck and Jillie Mack, David Barton and Susanne Bartsch, Frank Langella and Whoopi Goldberg, Stedman Graham and Oprah Winfrey.” Well, people have different — sex is a very small part of any relationship. You can’t be orgasming constantly. It’s impossible. Just a few minutes a day. So it’s really who do you like being around? Who do you enjoy having as your company? You know who I enjoy having around.

( . . . )

Q: I’m going to visit my friend Suzy. She just wanted me to see some things. I told her it was too expensive but I just like to stop by and say hello.


Q: So I’m visiting my friend, Dae Man Yang, on Larchmont across the street from Paramount, and he’s so nice. He just gave me a beautiful carved wooden piece. I mean where else in L.A. can you go where proprietors give you something? In L.A.!? I don’t think it happens very often. So this is — I think he’s a very spiritual individual. What religion are you, by the way?

D: Buddhist.

Q: Buddhist. That’s good. So you believe in reincarnation. I am one of the few Christians (pronounced with ‘i’ sound rather than ‘kris’ sound) who believes in reincarnation. So, in fact, I’m going to give you a copy of my book, I’ve decided. (“THAT’S”) You’ll give me a free gift and I’ll give you my book.

D: (laughs)

Q: Do you read? (“PEOPLE IN”)

D: Sure.

Q: Okay. I mean but people don’t like to read. I mean this is L.A. Let’s face it.

D: Yeah, I do. (“OKAY WELL”)

Q: And I’m going to tell everyone you have fabulous pieces here. Right now I’m looking at — they’re all older pieces. They all have a lot of class. They all have a story behind them. They’re not homogenized pieces. Each piece is a one-of-a-kind piece. Like you showed me a beautiful goddess head and a beautiful iron figure of a — what did he — a pilgrim, it looked like?

D: Yes.

Q: Both of them I would buy if I had more money. (“BUT”) I’m very humble these days — (“IT’S”) you know, with my condo problem and everything. I may not sound humble but I am. So, anyway, you have beautiful pieces here. I think people will read about you in my book and they’re going to come here and buy everything.

D: (small laugh) (“AFTER THEY”)

Q: Because I’ve gotten some nice pieces. So I’ll give you my book so you can see it. But I should ask you has anything unusual happened to you like UFOS or flying saucers? Have you ever seen a flying saucer or had a strange dream that came true?

D: (laughs)

Q: What’s the last movie you went to see?

D: Movie?

Q: Yeah. Have you seen any movies recently?

D: In the theatre?

Q: Yeah.

D: No.

Q: No? So what do you do? What’s your hobby?

D: I think the last movie which I saw — I usually read story book and watch TV, rent video. (“YOU KNOW”)

Q: And what’s that beautiful — I saw that piece once before. That’s a samurai?

D: Yeah.

Q: That’s a beautiful piece. The horse’s head is great too. Oh, I didn’t even notice this one before. You have a lot of Alice in Wonderland (“WOOD”) objects — or like The Wizard of Oz or something.

D: (small laugh)

Q: This is sort of like — you never know where these things are (from). There’s a beautiful —

D: Angel wood carving.

Q: Oh my gosh.

D: It’s wood.

Q: It’s hand-carved, isn’t it? How much is that? $175 — well, that’s a beautiful piece. (“YOU SEE”) If I was wealthy I’d buy everything in your store (“AND YOU CAN”) and you’d retire because everything is wonderful. Anyway, okay, well thank you. This has been a nice interview. And let’s see what’s this? Yeah — just — I love everything here. I really do. I can’t believe that more people at Paramount don’t cross the street. Little do they know what’s here. Has anyone ever come in here like Sherry Lansing or anyone?

D: Who’s Sherry Lansing?

Q: Oh, the head of the — exactly. Thank you. Who is Sherry Lansing? My sentiments exactly. Okay.

D: Studio, you mean?

Q: Yeah. (“SHE’S”) She works there.

D: I don’t even know.

Q: She’s one of the thousands of people.

D: A lot of people in and out, in and out —

Q: Exactly.

D: — but I don’t know their names.

Q: In and out. In and out.

D: Actually someone who had a lot of money — expensive car — they don’t buy. (“REALLY”)

Q: I know. They put all their money in the bank.

D: Also, they’re very stingy.

Q: I know. Tell me about it.

D: Bargaining bargaining bargaining.

Q: See, I don’t — that would be considered a sin to me.

D: Even in the meter — parking meter. They don’t put in coins. They just want to run in the door and even parking — (“WHEREVER THEY FEEL”)

Q: That’s disgusting.

D: “It’s going to be five minutes.”

Q: (groans)

D: They get a $30 ticket. (laughs)

Q: Okay. Exactly. (“GO AGAIN”)


Q: Well, thank you. I’ll send you — I’ll download this and send this to you.

( . . . )

Q: Say that again.

D: (concerning the piece he gave me) Christmas time, you know, you can make a Christmas ornament.

Q: Uh-huh.

D: Tree and hang.

Q: Well, everyday is like Christmas for me.

D: Yeah. It looks like a Christmas decoration.

Q: I love it. Thank you.

( . . . )

Q: So I’m here with my friend Suzie. That’s short for Amanda Suzanne. How are you today?

A: I’m fine. Thank you.

Q: I hate asking people that. (“IT’S A”) It’s a waste of time. But, anyway, so you’re right across from Paramount too.

A: Yes.

Q: And she showed me a beautiful — what is it called exactly?

A: It’s a Chinese shawl — about 1800s with twenty-eight — it’s got Chinese people on it.

Q: Yes.

A: And it — the heads are carved ivory. Twenty-eight carved ivory heads.

Q: It should be in a museum somewhere. If it was in a museum somewhere, it would be priceless. (“THESE HEADS”)

A: Well, the only other one I’ve ever seen was in a museum.

Q: Exactly.

A: So —

Q: So why it’s here and not there is beyond me. And I would buy it if I had the money but I don’t.

A: That’s okay, sweetheart. (“YEAH”)

Q: How much is it?

A: It’s $4,700.

Q: And that’s a very fair price. So I would think maybe like a Buddhist temple — (“SOME”) some people (“WW”) who’d just want a beautiful thing to help their people meditate with. But it’s only here for a limited time, unfortunately.

A: Right. Well, I brought it in for someone else to see and they were looking for one similar. (“YES”) (bells on door rattle as postman enters) Excuse me.

( . . . )


A: I saw it and I thought, “Oh, Mark has got to see this.” (“BECAUSE I DID”) I don’t know how long it’ll be before I get to see it again.

Q: What is wrong with my Guide? He hasn’t channeled me enough money.

A: (laughs)

Q: I mean I could take it out of my retirement account but I would just feel a little bit too —

A: But I have another one without the heads. It’s exactly like it without the ivory heads. And apparently they are quite common. This is very rare.

Q: The one with the ivory heads.

A: Right.

Q: That’s the one I would want.

A: I know. Me too.

Q: Oh well. (“YEAH ME TOO” “BUT UM”) Anyway, you’ve provided me with some wonderful things in the past. In fact, I even have the picture of one of them in my book. The Yugoslavian painting —

A: Oh. (“YEAH”)

Q: — is in the book.

A: Oh, that’s great. (“SO”)

Q: I do mention you.

A: Oh thank you.

Q: And, as I was talking to Dae Man, it’s unusual that there are people with man in their name (“THEY’RE SS”) side by side.

A: Oh, that’s funny. Yeah, I never thought of that. (“SO NOW AN[D]”)

Q: So I was trying to — you know. I said, “Well, has Sherry Lansing ever come in?” And, of course, he’s never heard of Sherry Lansing. (“BUT YOU”) Do you know any —

A: Well, I don’t think I would recognize her. I know who she is. But she’s not with Paramount any more, is she?

Q: Yeah, she is.

A: Oh, she still is?

Q: I don’t know — I haven’t read the trades today. (“NO I DON’T”)

A: Oh yeah. Right.

Q: (small laugh)

A: But I thought she left there. I don’t know why. (“UH-HUH”) But, anyway, I don’t think I would recognize her. I don’t even (“YEAH”) recognize people on television or in the movies when they come in. I’m in some kind of a —

Q: I know because when you see they’re photos they’re so glamorous and pretty —

A: Right. (“AND”)

Q: — you know. But when you see them in person it might be a bad day. You know — it might be a bad hair day.

A: Right. But I’m sort of an airhead. I think I saw everybody at an antique show. (laughs)

Q: Exactly. You’re like me. (sighs)

A: “Did I see you in an antique show?” And it’s some movie star —

Q: Right. Exactly.

A: — I don’t recognize. (“SO YOU DON’T KNOW” “OH M[Y]”)

Q: And, you know, I just noticed this is a beautiful find here. This fountain for someone’s yard. (“O”)

A: Isn’t it?

Q: That’s got to be hundreds of years old — well, it looks like it’s hundreds of years old.

A: Probably 1880 — 1890.

Q: Yeah. (sighs)

A: And it came from a — (“A”) a place that was being torn down in Hancock Park.

Q: Oh my God. It’s so (“B”) beautiful.

A: Isn’t it neat? Look how that little dolphin shoots up.

Q: How much is that — (“WOULD”) would that go for?

A: It’s not very much. It’s $2,800. (“WHICH IS”)

Q: But, see, if this was a Beverly Hills shop, can you imagine how much they’d sell that for? (“I”) And they’d get it. (“TOO BECAUSE”)

A: Oh absolutely.

Q: Because the people just wander in from the neighborhood.

A: Right. Well, I don’t really get things that are, like, in the $4,000s very often. I like to get things people can take home and enjoy. (“YEAH”)

Q: Yeah. (sighs)

A: But I do like that one.

Q: Okay. Let’s see. So anything else — well, you know what I like. (“ANY”) Well, first tell me have you ever had any — my next book is more Hollywood-themed. Have you ever had any celebrities come in here that you would recognize?

A: Well, I’ve had celebrities come in but I didn’t recognize them until after they left. After they bought things.

Q: So someone said, “Did you know that was so-and-so?”

A: Right. No — I mean actually, like, celebrities have come in that have bought things and I looked at their (credit) card and I figured out who they were. But not because I knew them right away.

Q: Well, I’m still — even though I’m on limited funds at the moment because of my condo crisis, I’m going to try to find something as a souvenir for just coming by again.

A: No. You don’t have to.

Q: Well, no —

A: I just like to see your sweet face.

Q: Well, I know. No, exactly.

A: You don’t have to always come in any buy something.

Q: Okay. (“MINE” “IT’S NOT”) And, by the way, the postman just came in and you exchanged niceties. It’s a different world from Paramount, let me tell you.

A: Oh really? Well, we usually hug.

Q: You said, “Hello.”

A: I love Carl. Carl’s very good to me when I’m out of town. He takes care of my mail and he’s an extremely nice person. (“IT JUST”) He’s one of those people that you’re a better person for knowing. (“N” “YOU KNOW”) You can’t say that about a lot of people but I love Carl. He’s just a doll.

Q: It’s another world. Right across the street from the corporate madness and insanity of downsizing and — you don’t know how lucky you are. Well, yes, you do know how lucky you are.

A: Yes, I do. (“YOU — YOU”)

Q: You — you’re in the job you want to be in.

A: Right. (“AND”) I come to play instead of come to work everyday.

Q: You’re proud of the pieces you give. (“YEAH”)

A: Well, I like people to get them and (“YEAH”) be happy that they got them. And take them home and love them, you know? It’s like —

Q: And, meanwhile, (“MOV[IE]”) have you seen any Paramount movies recently? No. Of course not. (“THEY”) Do they make movies anyone wants to see? (“I DON’T THINK”) Who goes to see, like, “Jurassic Park: The Lost World.” I mean I thought the first movie was a piece of shit. (“YEAH”)

A: (small laugh)

Q: I mean come on.

A: I’m not going to go see it.

Q: There was no character development. (“YEAH”) It’s just ‘good special effects.’ (groans)

A: Well, you know — that’s what pays the bills, I suppose.

Q: Okay, well, (“I’M”) I’m going to try to find something. And let’s see — (“WELL”) anything weird ever happen to you like spirits, dreams, synchronicity — (“YES I”)

A: I experience a little of that but it always scares me so I try and forget it.

Q: Just as a sample — what happened? (“OH”)

A: I don’t know.

Q: Poltergeist phenomena? Something moved.

A: No. I never had anything like that but (“B” “I LL”) I live in an apartment that was built in 1929. So sometimes when I walk into my apartment — my husband and I both have experienced a certain smell right in the hall that’s very odd. So we — (“YEAH”) you know, that’s the only kind of thing that recently —

Q: What I just experienced on the way over here is — and you never know if it’s phenomena or if it’s just something that makes you go, “Hmmm?”

A: Right.

Q: I put in my detachable radio face on. And I noticed it wasn’t on all the way — and I listened to Dr. Laura. Well, then I turned it off to record a statement and then I went to turn it back on again and I realized it’s not hooked up all the way. I didn’t press it in all the way and it shouldn’t have even come on at all. (“I’M NOT”) But you don’t really know. Well, maybe it was an accident or maybe it was attached or —

A: A coincidence or —

Q: — became detached (“YEAH”) or not.

A: Well, I a lot of times (“A CU”) I’ll be thinking about a customer and they’ll either come in or call me. (“OR”) I mean that happens a lot. (“WELL”)

Q: By you calling me I did get that piece for free next door.

A: Well, you know, I just put it out there and it happens. But a lot of times I’ll be thinking of someone I haven’t seen in a long time and they’ll show up.

Q: Well — (“I MEAN”)

A: And I get —

Q: Well, of course, my pseudonym is Mark Russell Bell and you have bells on your door.

A: Yes, I do.

Q: What kind of bells are those?

A: I think they’re from Thailand.

Q: (I rattle the bells) Yeah. They’re like — Pakistan, it says. (“YEAH”)

A: There are some other little — I just like the sound of those.

Q: Okay, well I’m going to try to find something as a souvenir. (“O”)

A: You embarrass me.



A: Isn’t this great?

Q: (gasps)

A: He has a wort on his nose. He has a bald spot.

Q: But what is he, though, first of all?

A: I think he’s Norwegian.

Q: Oh my God. But he looks like an elf.

A: Oh I know. (“HE’S”)

Q: Or a witch or a warlock or something.

A: Look at his tooth that’s sticking out there.

Q: This is not a one-of-a-kind piece. (“OR”)

A: Yeah. (“WE”) I’m sure it’s one of a kind.

Q: Is it hand-painted? The face?

A: Um-huh. And then — (“THIS” “BUT THIS”) you know, it’s wonderful. She’s got red hair. Look at this. I mean these are —

Q: Oh my God. These are beautiful.

A: Aren’t they delightful?

Q: Their noses are so strange.

A: I know. (small laugh)

Q: So they’re Norwegian dolls for $95.

A: The strangest thing about them, Mark, is that — you know that stupid show on FX called “Personal Effects”?

Q: Yeah? (“NO”)

A: There were some Stief dolls, that looked like — very similar to this, on a couple days ago and I thought, “Oh I wonder if those are Stief.” But they’re not marked anywhere. But I just think these are just —

Q: They don’t have my name on it.

A: (small laugh) But the patch on his — I just think these are just a kick. (“YEAH”)

Q: Well, they are a kick. They’re creepy but they’re a kick. (“THEY”)

A: They’re very strange.

Q: I’ll have to find something. (“NO I”)

A: But I love strange stuff. (“THAT”)

Q: Where’s something (“WHITE” “THAT’S SORT OF”) sort of inexpensive and just sort of real old. Something ‘craft’ — that arts and crafts — (“THIS”)

A: This I like. (“E”) See, this is the greatest thing — (“DON’T LIKE”) I can do two on this. (“THAT’S A”)

Q: Candleholder. (“YEAH”)

A: Candleholder.

Q: It’s a heart.

A: Yeah.

Q: Well, let me look around.

A: Okay.

Q: Maybe I’ll find something.

( . . . )

A: I’d rather you have this (“UH-HUH”) then it sit back there and get broken. (“I”) I don’t mind. I’d rather just give it to you.

Q: Okay. (“I WOULD”) And it is — I hope that my whole collection does go to a museum someday because I would never think of selling a piece. I did trade a — (“LIKE”) I only had, like, two or three pieces that I thought really weren’t things that I had wanted to begin with. (“THI”) Ohhh.

A: See? It’s not perfect but if you don’t mind (“YEAH”) —


A: — that it isn’t perfect — it really is an old one. (“C”)

Q: What is this? This is from —

A: China import.

Q: Oh yes.

A: They’re very valuable if they’re perfect. (“O — O I”)

Q: Well, I think that, you know, nothing in life is perfect.

A: Well —

Q: And if it is —

A: I can’t sell it because it’s not perfect. (“RIGHT”) So I’d just as soon pass it on to somebody who’s going to love it.

Q: Okay, fine. I think it’s beautiful.

A: Oh thank you.

Q: It’s a one-of-a-kind piece. Just because there’s a little — (“CHIP”) do you know how that got chipped, (“BILL”) by the way?

A: No, I don’t. But I —

Q: Probably the earthquake. (“PROBABLY”)

A: Maybe. (“BUT”) But you could take some shoe polish if you wanted to just (“YEAH”) not make it so outstanding and just — (“YOU KNOW”)

Q: The curator for my museum (“WW”) will have his work cut out for him. I have some other pieces that aren’t perfect. Like I have some toenail clipping holders from a temple in China, which has a piece missing and things.


(“I JUST”)

Q: I think every object has a soul —

A: Um-huh. Me too. (“TO”)

Q: — a spirit to it — (“AND”) just like there are people who aren’t perfect.

A: Well, I particularly like this because it really looks old.

Q: It’s beautiful.

A: Some of them look brand new but this one really —

Q: And where’s it from — it’s from China.

A: It’s from China. (“SUN”) China imported things. (“NO”)

Q: Beautiful. (“I”) I’m sure that I don’t have any roosters in my collection and they’re very symbolic.

A: Very. (“YEAH”)

Q: They announce the arrival of the sun every morning.

A: That’s right.

Q: Okay.

( . . . )

Q: Oh I see. So here’s the other one. And the other one is perfect.

A: And the other one is perfect. (“YES”) And that’s only $50.

Q: It isn’t perfect but it doesn’t have a big chip in it. The big chip really was too bad. (“NO” “BUT”)

( . . . )

Q: I hate to break up the set. That’s the only thing.

A: No, but it’s going to anyway (“YEAH”) because nobody’s going to buy the set with this problem and this is a good price for one.

Q: I might.

A: Oh, well, you might because one you get anyway.

Q: Right. Exactly. Okay, I’m going to buy the other one too.

A: Ohhh, you don’t have to. (“I”)

Q: I know and I shouldn’t but I’m going to because I just can’t bear — you know me. A true collector cannot see sets broken up.


Q: I have a beautiful war scene at home and it breaks my heart that I don’t have the matching — (“THERE’S”) another one that matches but the dealer moved away.

A: Oh. (“SELL”) See — they face each other. It’s kind of sweet.

Q: By the way, this embroidery that you’re using as a base also looks like it’s a beautiful, beautiful piece too.

A: Isn’t it beautiful? Yeah, it really is a nice old one. (“UNBELIEVABLE”)

Q: I have a few things like that. (“N”) They all belong in museums too. I don’t even know where they came from. (“THING”) Oh my God. Unbelievable.

A: When you can’t get this out of your mind, call me. I’ll hold it for you. . . .

Q: Okay, I’ll take it too.

A: Well, you don’t have to take it today.

Q: I know. (“I LIKE”) I can’t — you know me. (“OKAY”) So I’ll just. I’ll put it on Visa. Do you take Visa? So I’ll just pay you (“THE EI” “YEAH”) the $80 for those two pieces. With tax.

( . . . )

Q: I’ll take it.

A: . . . Okay. Okay.

Q: It’s my Guide’s fault.

A: I know.

Q: He brought me over here.

A: I just don’t want you to think you’ve got to buy something every time you come in.

Q: Just don’t tell (“DD”) the Bank of America about it.

A: Don’t tell who?

Q: My lenders.

A: Oh no. Bank of America.

Q: They’ll find out about it. (“OH THEY FOUND”)

( . . . )

A: My mother used to say, “Sneeze at a gnat and swallow a camel.” And it meant — (“LIKE”) they would turn down a few thousand dollars because they weren’t getting the full price and lose it all rather than accept a good offer. (“IT”)

Q: (There are) a lot of people in this wheeling, dealing town that act like that.

A: That’s right.

( . . . )

Q: Uh oh. Maybe we have experienced paranormal phenomena — poltergeist phenomena because look — one of your cards is on the floor.

A: Oh maybe.

Q: It says, “Please ask for assistance.” So maybe it just fell off but it’s (“O”) just the timing. Where does this go?

A: I think I made a new one that was over there. I lost this one.

Q: Oh okay. But isn’t that funny?

A: Oh that is funny.

Q: I’ve had that happen to me before where I’ll go into a place and there’ll be a sign that says —or I’ll hear somebody on the radio say, ‘It’s always best to speak to the owner to find out where the real buys are.’ So it’s like — you’ll have to read my book sometime but my Spirit Guide sort of helps me find certain objects.

A: Well, you know, I always tell people to ask. Even when they go into another store — to ask because people can’t keep everything out. I have tons of stuff in the back. (“AND DO YOU” “SO”)

Q: Do you find that some — (“TIMES”) you can sort of know what people are going to get before they get them? Or there’s a certain item they’re looking for so they were meant to get this certain piece?

A: Well, I’m in a few of my customers’ brains. (“AND I CAN”) I know when I get it I can put it in their hand and they’re going to love it. (“N”)

Q: You knew I would have bought that if I had the money. You knew.

A: Well, I just (SIGH “I JUST”) it reeked Mark all over it.

Q: It’s a museum piece. Right, exactly.

A: As soon as I saw it I said, “I know he probably can’t afford it but I want him to come in and see it.” (“MAYBE WHAT”)

Q: Maybe a benefactor will buy it for me someday —

A: Maybe. That’s right.

Q: — and donate it to my museum.

A: But I just wanted you to be able to just, (“I[F]”) if you couldn’t afford it, at least be able to see it.

Q: And it’s in amazingly wonderful condition.

A: I know. (“AN I’LL”) It won’t be here for very long and usually what happens —

Q: None of us will be here for very long. (“YEAH”)

A: But they send it to auction and it goes into a private collection and then you never see it.

Q: And, plus, the auctioneers make all the money. (“THAT’S R”)

A: Well, I don’t care about that — (“SO MUCH”)

Q: They charge you (“FOR THE”) for the brochures and the marketing.

( . . . )

Q: That’s exactly what Dae Man said next door and, of course, Amanda is backing it up.

A: Oh, the people that come in here are the absolute cheapest that have the most money.

Q: The rich people who have the most money.

A: Yeah. Absolutely.

Q: Well, it’s like in the Bible — and needles and camels and all that.

A: Right.

Q: By the way, (“WHAT RE”) what religion are you?

A: Presbyterian.

( . . . )

Q: I think that love is the only true religion so that’s the main thing. (“I THINK”) Her husband’s Jewish, she just said.

A: I think hell is ins(ide) — the Devil is inside of us and so is God. And it’s our choice to say who we are going to be that day. I really believe that.

Q: That moment even. (“THAT MO” “YEAH”) It’s a constant struggle. (“THAT’S RIGHT”)

A: We can make life around us hell or we can make life beautiful.

Q: It’s like when I’m saying something negative or judgmental I’m the Antichrist and when I’m saying something sweet and pleasant I’m Jesus.

A: That’s right. We are who we believe in.

Q: Right. So if you believe I’m the Antichrist — I’m the Antichrist; and if you believe I’m Jesus — I’m Jesus.

A: Right.

( . . . )

A: My father was a Sunday school teacher and I remember one time this kid asked him about the golden rule. And instead of saying you know — everybody else’s explanation of the golden rule, my father gave this explanation and I never forgot it. He said, “When you put your feet on the floor every morning you represent everything about you: your sex, your weight, the color of your skin. And you have a chance of changing somebody’s mind about their perception of that part of you every single day of your life.

Q: What a knowledgeable man. And what did he do for a living?

A: He was a salesman. But he was also this — he said that at Sunday school and he considered that the golden rule.

Q: You can be an ethical salesman. (“OH”)

A: No, but I’m saying that has nothing to do with with his (“RIGHT”) Sunday School —

Q: But in this day and age (“TEACHER” “SEE HOW”) times have changed.

A: Yeah.

Q: Now it’s like everyone’s just automatically corrupt because of the (“YEAH”) corporate structure at large.

A: Oh absolutely. You’re 100% right.

Q: Sad. But I’m planning to do something about it in my own little way with my website and my book.