(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: THIS FIRST BRIEF PORTION OF THE TAPE WAS RECORDED LAST YEAR BEFORE MY MOTHER'S HEALTH WORSENED AND THE REMAINDER OF THE TAPE WAS LEFT UNUSED AS I HAD PLANNED TO RECORD NO MORE TAPES. I SPONTANEOUSLY HANDED HER THE TAPE RECORDER TO SEE WHAT SHE WOULD SAY. THE 1999 'UNPLANNED' TAPE SIDES INCLUDE JOURNAL EXCERPTS WHEN RELEVANT. I DIDN'T PLAN FOR THESE JOURNAL ENTRIES TO BE PRESENTED SO SOON. THESE JOURNAL EXCERPTS SEEM BITCHY TO ME YET THEY REFLECT MY FEELINGS AT THE TIME I WROTE THEM.)
E: I will be very happy when Mark gets rid of Mighael and does not talk about Mighael and talk about Mighael the Angel or the horse's patootie. And then maybe he won't appear to be cuckoo.
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: KNOWING THAT THE SUBJECT OF MY AD WAS UNUSUAL FOR PUBLICATION STAFF, I BECAME CONCERNED ON THE MORNING OF MAY 17th WHEN I STILL HADN'T RECEIVED A CALL ADVISING ME WHEN TO COME IN TO FINALIZE THE AD FOR TOMORROW. NOR DID I WANT TO LOSE THE ADVANTAGEOUS PLACEMENT SHOULD THE WORK NOT BE COMPLETED IN TIME.)
M: Valerie Montague's office. Can I help you?
Q: Oh hi. Is she available?
M: No. She's actually out at meetings this morning. Can I help with something?
Q: Who's this?
M: This is Megan.
Q: Oh hi, Megan. Yes, I just wanted to find out what time I should come by to look at my proof? This is Mark Russell.
M: Oh Mark, hi. She has me working on that and I'm supposed to call you as soon as I have the artwork.
Q: Oh okay.
M: Can you give me your number? And I'll give you a call.
Q: Sure. It's (gives number).
M: I'll go back and talk to them and
M: I'll call you back within the hour. We'll arrange something.
Q: Okay, fine. I have an appointment around ten to 10:15 but I'll be back so you can leave a message if I'm not here.
M: Is there a better time for you to come in?
Q: What time usually is it? ("VOL")
M: It's pretty open but if there's a time that works better for you I can
Q: No, ("ELLEN") any time ("AF") well, let's see, I have to be somewhere at around 10:20 and then at around two o'clock so any time around those two times.
M: In between ("YEAH")
Q: In between
M: say eleven and one.
Q: Right. And then ("AF"), you know, af(ter) like 2:30. ("AND" "WHENEVER")
M: Okay. Let's shoot for between eleven and one.
Q: Oh, okay. Fine. ("OKAY") So . . . (momentary malfunction) back shortly.
M: Sounds good.
Q: Okay, thank you.
M: Thank you. Bye.
Journal (May 17, 1999)
Today I worked on the ad with Megan Standish at Daily Variety making my pendant smaller and the photos bigger, removing the box around the ad, etc. I discovered she was interested in the unexplained, as was the staff member handling art chores for the ad. Megan commented she was aware there had been a Pilgrim with he same last name who she understood wasn't a very nice man. I mentioned to her my awareness of the significance of words within names, explaining that for some people the word sin in their names perhaps represented dealing with the consequences of sin; and "Oh, you have 'stand' in your name." My ad will be on page seven so I guess the company that reserved page five didn't release the better page as I hoped. She called me later in the afternoon because I had left behind a file with my checkbook and updated resume. I promised her a copy of the book when I return on Wednesday and asked that she pull me a few free extra copies. While I was waiting for the photos to be enlarged on the page, I glanced at the Friday issue and there was an article regarding the inability of 20th Century Fox to reach a deal with Manhattan theatres for "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace." Later, at the market, I saw a National Enquirer that stated the film had a millennial message. Glancing at the article about George Lucas, there were quotes about how the film had a message against greed!!! My reaction is that this is the perfect example of what's wrong with society. George Lucas seems to be one of the most selfish, exploitative and greedy people in the history of the universe yet he thinks it's other people's problem. All movies are really just hype, requiring a voluntary suspension of disbelief and embracing of consensus morality cliches and falsehoods. I've seen photos of cartoonish characters interacting with the actors from the "Star Wars" film in stills and I think it's hilarious that people are willing to accept the whole premise. Of course, they're just caught up in the hype. It's like God is saying, 'Here's a ridiculous bit of fantasy and you're so superficial and unperceptive that you'll think there's something meaningful in the experience. Of course, you can impress me by showing that you've evolved past the level of this hokum.' People do yearn for new experiences and in our corrupt society, the only outlet is this insipid fantasy commercialized beyond the point where these products can be rewarding. Regarding this new "Star Wars," the merchandising, the publicity, the media exploiting it all at the sacrifice of devoting attention to humanitarian and environmental issues; this is a devastating indictment of human foibles and human stupidity. The intrinsic themes of the film are legitimate and channeled by a Higher Power yet they are communicated on a pathetic, patronizing level that goes unnoticed by those who know no better; while some of those who do know better have abandoned helping expand the consciousness of others because of greed, jealousy or cowardice. This morning I let my Holy Bible fall open to see what passage would be relevant and I found 2 Chronicles 36-16: "But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the Lord arose against his people, till there was no remedy."
I called up Michael to tell him that there would, in all likelihood, be a publicity break tomorrow and he was demanding to know the source. He was squirming badly about the possibility of my book receiving attention and, when I said it wasn't an interview, decided the source was either the Los Angeles Times, Hollywood Reporter or Daily Variety. I told him I wanted it to be a surprise and would say nothing more. Ironically, one of the photos he gave me is included. I can't believe all the peoplewho I would have thought to be good-heartedunable to demonstrate love for God when presented an opportunity. And for the same old reasons.
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: I SAW THE AD IN PRINT ON JUNE 18. THE AD WAS HEADLINED "TESTAMENT & NEW TESTAMENT" "FREE INTERNET EDITIONS AT http://testament.org" BENEATH THIS WERE PHOTOS OF TESTAMENT AND NEW TESTAMENT BOOK COVERS. BETWEEN COVERS WAS A PHOTO OF MY EGYPTIAN MEDALLION AND THE ORACLE PRESS LOGO. THEN THE 1999 PRESS RELEASE WAS FOLLOWED BY TESTAMENT PHOTOS OF THE GROCERY STORE SPIRIT, BIGFOOT, BIRD GRAVEL MESSAGE, 'THE ALIENS,' CARIBBEAN CRUISE LIGHT AND SPIRIT FACE PHENOMENA; AND THERE WAS ALSO A PHOTO OF THE REPTILIAN-HOMINOID FACE FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT COVER ARTIFACT. ON THE PREVIOUS THURSDAY WHEN I MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS, I AGREED TO PAY AN ADDITIONAL $1,000 BEYOND THE TALENT RATE OF APPROXIMATELY $3,400, NOT INCLUDING SOME INCIDENTAL PRODUCTION COSTS, FOR PLACEMENT ON THE SECOND RIGHT-HAND PAGE WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT I WOULD HAVE THE FIRST RIGHT-HAND PAGE POSITION IF THE PRODUCTION COMPANY [TNT] THAT HAD RESERVED THE PAGE DIDN'T USE IT. THE NEXT DAY, TUESDAY, I FOUND THE AD ON PAGE 7 WHILE ON PAGE 5 WAS AN AD FROM CREATIVE ARTISTS AGENCY WITH A RED BACKGROUND CONGRATULATING "CLIENTS WHO HAVE RECEIVED DAYTIME EMMY AWARD NOMINATIONS." I CALLED MEGAN AND SAID I WOULD COME IN TODAY TO DISCUSS THE PROBLEM WITH AD PLACEMENT. VALERIE WASN'T AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME TO DISCUSS THE MATTER. I HAD ALREADY GIVEN COPIES OF TESTAMENT TO SANDRA AND VALERIE. SANDRA HAD REFERRED ME TO VALERIE FOR PLACING THE AD, ALLOWING ME TO RECEIVE THE LESS EXPENSIVE TALENT RATE. I DECIDED MY PREDICAMENT WOULD ALLOW INSIGHT INTO CORPORATE WORK PRACTICES WHERE DOWNSIZING AND REPLACING HUMAN BEINGS WITH TECHNOLOGY ARE EVER-PRESENT THREATS. DAILY VARIETY, A CAHNERS PUBLICATION, IS A DIVISION OF REED ELSEVIER INC. IRONICALLY, ON THE OPPOSITE PAGE OF MY AD WAS THE FOLLOWING SMALL AD.)
Reporters The National Enquirer Wants You!
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Daily newspaper or TV experience preferred. If you think we're reporting on two-
headed babies and space aliens, don't bother applying! But if you think you've got
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world, send us your resume and clips. Must be willing to relocate to Florida or
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(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: I TURNED ON THE TAPE RECORDER WHILE WAITING IN THE RECEPTION AREA AFTER THE RECEPTIONIST LEFT A VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FOR MEGAN THAT I HAD ARRIVED. I EVENTUALLY TOLD HIM THAT VALERIE COULD HELP ME AS THERE WAS NO RESPONSE FROM MEGAN. I WANTED TO ASK THE RECEPTIONIST ABOUT HIS REACTION TO THE AD BUT UNEXPECTEDLY HAD TO WAIT AS OTHERS TALKED TO HIM.)
Q: I'm tired of sitting.
U: Buenos tardes, senor.
R: Como está usted?
U: Muy bien. Tu?
R: Muy bien tambien.
U: Mucho calor huh?
U: Hi, Lydia.
Y: For the conference room the big conference room on May 27th. And cancel that because we took the . . .
R: Okay, May 27th, to start at 7:30. I'm going to
Y: Delete that.
R: delete that.
Y: We took the June 3rd.
R: Okay. And let me just make sure June 3rd yeah (or "YEAH"), you're all set.
Y: Thank you.
Q: Hi, Lydia.
?: Hi, Maria.
A: I think he was first.
Q: Oh I'm just waiting.
R: Oh he's waiting.
Q: I was tired of sitting down.
R: He's waiting for Megan.
A: . . . What did you do with Donna?
R: She comes back tomorrow. She's been on vacation.
A: She has? Oh good for her.
R: Since the seventh. Yeah.
A: Oh. I've been out so I didn't know. And I was wondering what phone calls do you get most for requesting facts? Information? What kind of information do people usually call you
R: For faxing?
A: No or yeah but they or in or just
R: Well advertising. Faxing the
A: For anything.
R: advertising rates.
A: What kind of information do they usually ask you most for? Not just ("ED")
R: In advertising?
A: No. In anything. Related ("OR" "WHAT") what what are the calls that you get the most that you think that if they had an 800 number that they could get a fax that would give them that information?
R: Oh. Well, of course, circulation ("NO" or "KNOW" ) calling about their subscription. They want to know what number to call to get a subscription or to change a subscription. ("OPTION") That's the big majority of the calls. ("FOR YOUR LO")
A: To change their subscription?
R: Or that they're not getting it. Or they have a problem with it. Or they want to cancel it. Whatever. They want to start a subscription.
A: Really? That's interesting so I'll have to make a note of that. And with advertising you get most of your calls for rates, you said?
R: Well yeah. They want you to send out what's it called? Kit? ("ME")
A: Media kit.
R: Yeah. They make requests for those. Trying to figure out what I receive wanting to know what else of course, and then, calling a person for different people in different areas. You mean what their requests are? ("YEAH")
A: Yeah. We're just wondering what forms and stuff they might ask for. ("BUT THAT") But that's good to know. Media kits.
A: Yeah. I was talking with Western Union and we got a sixty-day trial run.
A: And they do a fax on demand service and I'm trying to think what different documents we can put in there like mechanical specifications and rates and stuff. But I thought I'd come and ask you because you're on the front line.
R: We get those. Yeah.
A: Yeah so I was just trying to see what kinds of documents would be best to put on there so that you can say, "Oh call this number and they'll give you and our fax on demand number will give you all that information." They just press two and they'll get the document.
R: And they'll get that. Oh. ("YEAH")
A: So they don't have to wait until somebody
R: So probably yeah, definitely for circulation.
V: Hey . . .
Q: Oh hi.
R: For circulation and subscriptions for sure . . . I'll think of something else too . . .
A: Okay. If you need me, you know where I am. ("SO")
V: Here (it all) is. What had happened was ("I") at the same time we were booking this one ( ad), a person was booking this one (CAA ad). Then that person had fallen off hold.
Q: Well that's not acceptable.
Q: That's broken my deal that I had with you.
V: Yeah but that happens. Do you know what I mean?
Q: No, I don't know what you mean. ("WHEN") It's not acceptable.
V: When we're answering when this was being entered into the computer as the second right hand page, at the same time it's all done by one person.
Q: I understand but I'm just saying that this part of my deal is no longer valid. ("THE") The placement. I'm not paying for the placement. The extra fee.
V: But that's the second right page.
Q: I know. ("NO BUT") The deal was that it would be moved up if the other production company did not use their page. And they did not use their page.
V: And then in the mean yeah, they had moved in. Exactly.
Q: No yeah, that's why I'm saying that our deal is broken. Their deal has nothing to do with my deal.
Q: If I need to speak to your supervisor, I'll be glad to speak to her.
V: Oh, that's fine. You can do that.
V: If that's what you need to do, that's fine.
Q: Yeah. ("I NEE") That's what I need to do because this is a big problem for me. Especially CAA because notice this is all about golden idols. Emmy awards. ("I")
V: Okay. ("THIS IS")
Q: This brings out the antichrist in me.
V: Oh I wish I would've known that you had particular placement like that. You know
Q: I told you that. That's what I said. I said
V: Oh I know. I know that. But if I mean at the time there was TNT was on hold for that page. The production company.
Q: Right. I understand. Yeah.
Q: And you said if they did not use it I would be moved up.
V: Right. But you have to understand that in the computer ("WELL I")
Q: Well it doesn't make a difference. I mean that was the deal. If the deal is broken, then ("THEN SOMETHING") it has to be fixed.
V: You want to be compensated for it. I understand.
Q: Yeah. Exactly.
V: Okay. So what we can do is let me go talk to Robyn.
Q: What's Robyn's last name?
Q: Okay. What about who's ("GI[VE]") the woman I originally spoke to
V: She's we're on the same ("OH I" "YEAH" "OKAY") oh yeah, we're on the same
V: We're on the same page. The same thing would happen if
Q: I spoke to my brother ("WHO") handles publicity for the Golden Globes and he said he didn't think I should pay for the ad at all. And he's
V: But your message got across. That's the point.
Q: Exactly. No, I'm very happy with it. I'm very I ("BUT") I must tell you it sort of ruined ("THE") the fun of it ("BY") seeing CAA there. ("I MEAN THAT'S" "THAT JUST") I have been angry all day.
V: Right. Well I'm sorry that you're angry.
Q: I mean I was a talent agent myself.
V: So was I.
Q: And I never had any problems dealing ("NO") getting setting up the ads for clients. Now here I'm trying to do something ("GG") good for Spirit, for God and this is what happens.
V: And an antichrist shows up in front of you.
V: Well that's what you said. (small laugh)
Q: No, you just have the word evil in your name. ("NO" "I'M JUST")
V: I have the word evil in my name?
Q: I'm just saying that the antichrist comes out in me.
V: Oh okay.
Q: It's sort of dualism.
V: Okay. So here. Why don't you have a seat and I'll go get Robin. I'm going to go talk to Robin. I'll run it by her. Okay?
V: And here's your stuff. And don't drop that. Your checkbook's in there. ("OKAY")
Q: Okay, fine. And also I'm supposed to see Megan. ("CAUSE I") She wanted a I was going to give her a copy.
V: Okay. Alrighty. (Or "ALRIGHTY") I'll go get her. And I'll be right back.
R: . . . call them and see. I
W: Is that possible?
R: Well let me see if they have . . . we'll see if Mary Miller or John Harrison huh?
W: I'm here. I don't get it free?
R: No, I'm sorry.
W: How much is it? ("OKAY") Ask. (O)kay.
R: No, I'm not getting an answer from other people. Mary Miller and John Harrison . . .
W: And you can only get it you can't get it at a newsstand . . .
R: Pardon me?
W: Can I get it at a newsstand?
R: Not that I
W: Yeah, this is the in-trade. It's for the trade.
R: Yeah. Did you . . .
W: I'll come back another yeah, I might be back another time. I'll come back.
R: Unless I can give you their phone number. You want me to give you that?
W: No, I have some naah. I'll come when I come back I'll try again.
R: Well I'm sorry I couldn't help you.
W: That's okay. Thank you.
R: Hi, David. Sir, are you waiting for Valerie?
D: Yes sir.
D: Paper clip?
D: Actually I don't want to borrow it. I'm going to take it, steal
R: Yes, you can have it.
D: Thank you, sir.
R: You're welcome.
Q: I've heard some lame excuses in my life but that was one of the lamest. Did you look at today's Variety yet? You have a chance to look at it?
R: No, actually I haven't. I wish I I'm hoping to this afternoon.
Q: I always I don't know why I had this problem with the advertising. I guess it's because I'm an investigative journalist. And so, of course, these things always happen to me. I'm one of the few people who finds Linda Tripp sympathetic ("NO") because I ("I") well understand her position. I mean as a messenger. People always don't want to hear it. They'd rather just try to ignore any problems until the atomic bomb goes off or whatever. You know? It's ridiculous. They're happy with their malls and their soap operas. I don't know how they are but they are. (I glance at one of the copies of the Daily Variety that have been left on the table) "Valenti shakes Hollywood over violence issue." Let him explain that one away. See there's my ad. ("YOU KNOW I") You know, I took it out in Variety ("CAUSE I") to reach the most media but I could've taken it out in ("LIKE") one of the spiritual papers. ("THE") Not that I like the Whole Life Times is sort of a joke. I don't really know of any one any spiritual publication that people take seriously. ("JUST")
R: Hey, Jeremy, how are you?
J: Packages . . .
R: I don't you can check. I don't think there's much of anything. Is there? . . . okay. Thanks.
Q: What's Lydia's last name? I think she used to work at Paramount for Sid Ganis.
R: Lydia Polito.
Q: I think that yeah, I think I know her.
R: She works in IT systems here.
Q: I don't think she recognized me. It's probably my glasses because I used to wear contact lenses.
R: Oh. ("YEAH")
Q: Oh well I'll wait over here.
( . . . )
V: This is Robyn Dunn.
Q: Hi, Robyn.
B: Hi. (Nice to) meet you.
Q: Nice to meet you.
B: I was just looking at Val was explaining to me what the situation is and, you know, typically, we chargeI'm sure you're probably awarefor the first, second and third right hand
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: UNATTRIBUTED SOUNDS ARE NOT IDENTIFIED ON TRANSCRIPTS MADE FOR http://testament.org YET HEARD HERE ON THE TAPE ARE LOUD PERCUSSIVE SOUNDS LIKE A GUNSHOT FOLLOWED BY A KNOCK UPON WOOD AMONG SPIRIT MESSAGE(S) THAT I CANNOT HEAR CLEARLY. THIS IS SOON FOLLOWED BY THE TRAIT THAT HAS BECOME MORE AND MORE RECOGNIZABLE IN THE COURSE OF MY VERBATIM TRANSCRIBING WORK WHERE PEOPLE, CONSCIOUSLY OR OTHERWISE, NEGATE WHAT THEY SAY IN MID-SENTENCE, PERHAPS IN SOME CASES REDUCING 'YOU KNOW' TO 'NO.')
Q: I understand. Yes. Uh-huh.
B: Yeah. So (or "SO") fact of the matter is, no, you really do this is excellent placement in the paper.
Q: Right. But my deal was I would be given moved up to page five if the company that had reserved the page did not use it and they did not use it. That was my deal. That was what I was paying for. The fact that a call came in at the same time supposedly, which is totally unbelievable, is not acceptable to me.
B: It does happen a lot. ("IS IT")
Q: There are only two (full) page ads in the whole issue. So it's not as if there are all these page ads.
B: There's this one also.
Q: On the back cover.
B: Yeah. Well I mean that ("FOR THE") that could land anywhere.
Q: Yeah. No, I'm just saying it's not acceptable.
B: Well I ("I THINK THAT")
Q: Having been an agent myself and working with a lot of these ads, ("WHAT I WOU") what I was going to suggest is that you take off the fee for the placement. I think that's fair.
B: Well the problem I have with that. I understand
Q: Okay, fine. Well I'll be ("I") glad to deal with the publisher or whoever I have to, to resolve this.
B: Well, as I said, the problem that I have with this is simply ("NO" "PHONE") no (or "NO") ("WELL WHA")
Q: Well what is the problem?
B: This is premium position. ("WHEN")
Q: When you have a deal and you break the deal, what is your policy?
B: Well you're right. ("YOU") You are right that you did not get necessarily what you were promised. ("WHY")
Q: Well I want to know what your policy is too because as an investigative journalist this is the type of thing that I write about in my on my website. So what is your policy when you break the terms of a client's deal?
B: It shouldn't be broken. You're absolutely right.
B: But I must admit, ("IT") just so you know, it does happen from time to time, unfortunately.
Q: Well it doesn't happen to me.
B: Some is out of our control. No and we try to go, no (or "NO"), to work with our clients and say if something opens up, you know we will try to give you better than what we're promising.
B: In this particular case, you know what, I don't want you to go away upset. ("I") I understand you've been a good advertiser with Variety
Q: Well, I haven't personally but when I was a talent agent.
B: Well Val had said you'd run a other ad
Q: Well I meant yeah.
A: For the book.
Q: A small ad. Right.
B: So, you know what, I'll go ahead and waive the premium but, ("NN" "JUST") just so you know, it's ("NO") something that we just don't do.
Q: Well she said that ("BUT") a call had come in at the same time but again
V: It happens. It really does happen.
Q: Yeah and, by the way and I'm sorry you have to deal with this because being so pregnant you don't need the bullshit. You know?
V: Hey, that's part of the job. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. ("WH WH WHEN")
Q: When do you when when is your when are you going to deliver?
V: In August.
Q: In August? Because I had a friend who ("I HAD") two people that I know who delivered, like, three months early. Don't work too late into the pregnancy.
V: (small laugh)
B: Yeah. (Or "YEAH") No kidding.
V: I'm fine.
Q: Okay. ("OKAY" "WELL NN")
B: We'll jus(t) (or "WE'LL JUS") let's go ahead and waive it ("OKAY") and wipe the slate clean
Q: (O)kay, thank you.
B: and, hopefully, we can ("WE CAN WORK")
Q: Okay. ("MM") How do you think the ad looks, by the way?
B: I think it looks great.
Q: It's a little unusual by Hollywood standards. ("BUT" "I THINK IT") I think ("OF") I thought of like all the publications and I really thought this one would go to the most press
Q: of any one publication.
Q: The Whole Life Times is a joke.
V: (small laugh)
Q: Especially if you interpret of you see, like, ("LITTLE") words (anagrams are in the title)
B: Yeah. No kidding. But I'm curious ("LIKE") what is what's going on there? ("WELL")
Q: That's why you really the ad ("REALLY" "HH" "HAS") you really have to go to the website. ("RE") It's not really enough just to see the ad, you really have to go and read a lot of the interviews.
V: So, see, the ad works. ("WELL")
Q: Hopefully works. I won't know until Saturday how many people go to the website. I am waiting ("AN[D] THIS") see, I have relationships with a lot of different media in town. But you know how it is. Nobody wants to break a story first.
Q: Because other people might think, 'Oh this is flaky.' ("NO") So ("BUT THE") the irony is with this ad CAA. My big trip is how ridiculous awards are.
B: (small laugh)
Q: You know like golden idols. ("I ME") And this is exactly I mean I literally saw red. Not (just) that the background was red. I mean it's just and my brother. It's like he handles publicity for the Golden Globes. And I'm trying to get him out of it. God knows I've tried.
V: (laughs) ("BUT ANYWAY")
Q: But anyway so thank
B: Well I'm sorry
Q: What's your name (again)? I haven't met you (before).
B: I'm Robin.
Q: And your last name? Dunn?
B: Yeah. Well I'm sorry that this happened because, as I said, this is it's rare that somebody will get a position and because our system's not . . .
Q: Right. Well yeah but see but, again, ("WHEN YOU") when you explain that to people and the excuse is that "This call came in at the same time," I mean that isn't a good excuse to somebody in my predicament. So but I thank you so I won't have to write any 'crazy' letters to the publisher.
B: No, we'll take care of it.
V: We don't want that to happen.
Q: Okay. So thank you. So I want to give this to Megan because she
V: She's actually in a meeting. That's why she couldn't come out.
Q: Okay, fine. Now I'll go ahead and leave this for her. Whoops. (I dropped the photos used in the ad.)
Q: Those are the originals of the photos. If you want to see what they look like in color.
Q: There are like little invisible aliens ("IN A") in a house in Oklahoma. You sort of make out the faces. ("AN S") What was weird was after I came back from Oklahoma it was always hot around me. And I thought you know, having come from the film industry I thought, "My goodness, ("IT'S LIKE") it's like a soundstage. Like what if they're filming?"
V: (small laugh) They're filming you? ("YOU KNOW")
Q: Because ("MY") my life is so outrageous, it would make a very good comedy maybe on another planet. ("AND SEE THAT'S") Alien writing. ("OF COURSE" "TH LO") They look better in color but
Q: I think the ad was effective. So, anyway ("UM") so I'm going to go ahead and give you a copy of the book. This is for Megan.
Q: And she mentioned somebody too in production also who was interested in the subject. ("SO")
V: Okay, I'll let her know.
Q: He can have one too. ("THANK YOU" "I") Would have brought more if I'd known. It's all on the Internet for free. ("OKAY" "ALRIGHT")
B: Well thank you.
Q: So thanks a lot.
V: Alright, Mark. Tha(nks).
Q: Okay bye.
( . . . )
Q: (speaking into tape recorder while driving home) So I guess I'm doing another tape side even though I didn't want to do any more. But circumstances have dictated otherwise. What I didn't have a chance to say was that the Whole Life Times is simply a different trade, (involving) a different kind of selling. So, anyway, here I am. Another tape side. What really gets me is that everyone is just sure that I'm out of my mind, that it can't be true. Well what if I am sane? What if it it is true. (passing emergency vehicles heard) What then? Why is it that everywhere wherever I go, there are always fire engines and ambulances?
( . . . )
Q: So, so far, so good. I haven't seen any Robertson license plate holders. I've been getting a lot recently and it really ruins my day.
( . . . )
Q: In fact, recently I noticed one of those license plate holders in my garage where I live. At the new apartment complex.
( . . . )
Q: Well I am passing Robertson Boulevard. I wonder if that counts. It probably does. Beverly Hills? Evil hell, anyone?
(TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: 'EVIL' AND 'HELL' ARE ANAGRAMS WITHIN 'BEVERLY HILLS.')
Q: So the media still is ignoring me. Let's see who's on National Public Radio.
N: . . . and having a popsicle. And a counselor came up to me and said, "Do you want to be in a play?" And I said, "Okay." And I went with her and I didn't realize that you had to do it more than once. I just thought, you know, you do it the one time and that was it. It didn't occur to me that I was making a, you know, pact with them to spend the rest of my summer vacation doing a play. But I did this play and people clapped for me and came up to me afterwards and told me how great I was. And that was the most seductive drug I've ever come (to) encounter you know, have ever encountered. And I never looked back. When you're on stage, you have a different relationship to your fat, a different consciousness of your body. Hmm. Wow, I don't that's a really interesting question. I know this that when I was in acting school I had no sense of my body and I acted from my neck up. And all my teacher said, you know, "You carry all your tension in your neck. You act with your face. You never include your body when you're acting." And it took me many years to actually incorporate my body into my acting because I just, like I said, wanted to disappear, make it go away. And I think I also felt that if I used all my forcefrom my body and my brea(sts)that I would, you know, I'd yell at somebody and, you know, they'd go through the wall. So what would happen is I'd end up being in an argument. And instead of really, you know screaming at somebody and telling them how angry I was . . . "I'm so mad, I can't believe it!" And I would lose my voice. And I refused to let any energy come from me because I think I was afraid of my power. And when I finally found my power I embraced it and, you know, there's no stopping me.
I: You started doing speed in graduate school.
I: Did you consider it a diet aid?
N: Yeah, I never considered, no, when I was taking speed and I took it because I had I knew a friend who, well, I knew a friend who dealt it and one summer I was at her house and this woman came in to get some. And I was really, you know, intrigued by the whole thing because I had never done it. And I happened to be back at that same woman's house about four months later when the woman came back to get more speed and she literally had lost about seventy pounds. It was phenomenal. And I always had remembered that. And when I started to get more and more pressure from the industry and from my school and from my parents and from my lovers to be thinner, I always kept it in the back of my mind that I could go back to my girlfriend and ask her for some of that stuff. And I did. And when I took it, it was entirely as a diuretic and not in any way to, you know, get, you know, high. So in fact I don't really remember ever feeling particularly high, just that I didn't want to eat. And I lost so much weight so quickly. And nobody ever, you know, inquired how I did that. No one ever seemed to be very concerned. You know you'd think if someone lost a lot of weight who'd had a lot of trouble with it earlier, one might say, "Are you okay? Are you doing this, you know, in a healthy fashion? We're just (or "WE'RE JUST") we're just interested and curious about you." But I never you know, it was me again just trying to hide and disappear and make sure nobody knew what was going on. And even my friends now who read my book or I tell the story to, say, "I never knew. I never knew." So yeah.
I: What made you stop?
N: (That)'s (ssw sound) (or "SSW") That's a great question. I was lying on my bed one day. I have a twenty-two pound cat, (small laugh) Steve. And Steve likes to sleep on my chest and he and every morning I push him off because I can't breathe. And one morning I woke up and I couldn't breathe and I pushed Steve off. Only he wasn't there. And I realized that I couldn't breathe anymore, you know? So that was one of the reasons why I quit smoking. And, ultimately, the reason why I quit speed is because I had a near-fatal overdose. I did too much and I ended (up) in a hospital and I knew that it was, you know (sighs) it was D-day. There was no my body wasn't going to have any more of it. My heart couldn't take it any more. And I mean that in every sense of the word. So I quit smoking and I quit doing speed. And I, obviously, rapidly put the weight back on because, you know, smoking and the speed that combination was just so my metabolism was so screwed up and I put the weight back on very quickly but this time I was in therapy and really trying to work it out. And I was devoted to finding a healthy place for me to live in, you know, mind, body and soul. And you can't do that when you're on speed.
I: Camryn Manheim's book is Wake Up, I'm Fat. She won an Emmy last year for her performance as Eleanor on the ABC drama "The Practice." More after the break. This is "Fresh Air."
Q: Oh well, it's "Fresh Air." It's not the news. That makes it alright, I guess. All those words of wisdom (from people whose careers are based on pretending).
( . . . )
Q: So let's see what's on the local news.
G: Our thinking has changed about exactly where the economy is going and we're thinking of changing interest rates as a result.
K: Inflation is the fear that may drive interest rates up soon but for now if you're buying a house or car you can rest easy since consumer loans should stay down for the time being.
F: Well it's another big day for staff sergeant Andy Ramirez, the former war captive-turned-hero, the toast of City Hall with the mayor, the city council president and the LAPD bestowing the East LA native with a host of commemorative honors. After all the handshaking was done, Ramirez thanked the city of angels for sticking by him.
Z: But I'd just like to thank everybody that's done so much all the support that they gave my family, no, in the difficult times because it was very difficult for them, no (or "NO"). Probably I would think more difficult for what I went through was for them not knowing what I was going through.
F: The City Council later voted in favor of making up any differences in salaries for city employees in the military reserve should they be called to serve in Operation Allied Force.
K: Two Long Beach high schoolers have pleaded not guilty to making terrorist threats against classmates and teachers. They're accused of threatening students at Milliken High and conspiring to build an explosive device. If convicted on all charges, they could be sentence to several years in Juvenile Hall.
F: Orange County supervisors gave a green light to a noise demonstration next month at the proposed El Toro International Airport. But not without opponents crying foul.
S: Opponents say the June 4th and 5th demonstration is bogus; that flights will take off to the north and east, dangerously close to mountains and not likely to be the final pattern. Dana Point resident Tristan Krokius says the $1.3 million demonstration is fleecing taxpayers but his feelings are mixed.
T: I can rationalize this proposed waste of money as a small price to pay for its possible help in killing the airport idea.
S: Eight different models of jetliners will be weighted with fuel and sandbags, including the wide-bodied Boeing 747 and Airbus 300. Staff is still trying for a 777. In Orange County, Sharon Katchen, KFWB News 98.
F: Well coming up maybe the IRS is really changing. KFWB news time: 3:45. (coach's whistle, baseball bat striking ball, stadium cheering, organ sound effects)
K: Now KFWB sports sponsored by Azahi America and the question is, is this the end of the reign for the Red Wings? Here is Joe McDonald at the KFWB sports desk.
O: Ken, it very well could be.
H: Wings' dynasty faces extinction to the avalanche at Joe Louis Arena in game six of the Western Conference semi-finals tonight. Wings need to find a way to play some defense again. They've been out-scored fourteen to five by the Avs in the last three. Chris Osgood still battling a sore right knee but he is expected to be in the net for the Wings again tonight. Wings have been down this road before three years ago in the Western Conference semis versus the Blues. Wings won games one and two, dropped the next three and then Steve Yserman won it in double OT of game seven. No question high stakes tonight. A Wings win forces a game seven in Denver on Thursday; an Avalanche victory secures a date with the Dallas Stars in the Western Conference finals. Tom Baylor, Detroit.
O: And Buffalo will be looking to wrap up its series against Boston. They would face Toronto in the conference finals. NBA tonight: Portland and Utah open up the series in Salt Lake City and the Knicks are in Atlanta to take on the Hawks in that series; Atlanta four point favorite, Utah three point favorite. In baseball, Dodgers are home. They send Carlos Perez to the mound to face Houston's Jose Lima. And Rod Beck on the fifteen day disabled list for the Chicago Cubs. He has a bone spur in his elbow. It's an old injury but he might have to have surgery, which will keep him out for about two months. Luis Gonzalez takes a twenty-nine game hitting streak into Arizona's game versus San Francisco tonight. And Joe Tory is back on the bench for the New York Yankees as they take on the Red Sox in Boston. Angels are at Baltimore: Chuck Finley and Mike Mussina. Pheonix Suns' former Rex Chapman undergoes foot surgery. He had a neuroma removed and that is an entrapment of a nerve in his right foot. And Felix Trinidad has a ten million dollar offer to fight Oscar De La Hoya. He must accept it by five o'clock our time Wednesday night or that's it and they will set up a rematch with Ike Quartey. I'm Joe McDonald and you hear sports at fifteen and forty-five past every hour on KFWB News 98.
C: Okay Asahi super dried be(er) (I turn the radio off)
Q: So the freeway is bumper to bumper again. LA is getting worse and worse. At five a.m. in the morning it's like this now. Too many people. I'm really ready to go home now.
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Q: I did hear some spirit messages on that broadcast such as the word "NO."